7 week old unsettled after 4am feed

[malibu_nikkus]

This is HORRIBLE! Although my 7 week old is waking twice a night which is great, he is difficult to resettle back to sleep after the second waking. I usually just feed him back to sleep at night, but that isn't even working.  I don't change nappies unless absolutely necessary, so there isn't a distraction that  could be to blame. 

I feed him around 4, lay down a sound asleep babe and within a few minutes it's guaranteed he will wake.  I'll burp him again etc to make sure it isn't discomfort.  I'll get him to sleep in arms and transfer him, etc, when he does eventually settle, he'll wake every hour at least until 7.30am.  This means I'm awake pretty much from 4 every morning because the others are up at 6.30.  I'm going crazy. Why would he be doing this? It then sets his day up for failure. He's overtired for the first sleep. He can only handle 1hr wake time throughout the day which I wonder if this is to blame for his serial catnapping because he needs a longer wake time. Just speculating here.  Are we in a vicious cycle? Is this silly 4am wake business fixable? How?

[FPT23]

Hello, congrats on the new little baby!

First off, many  hugs. I remember those days very well. It wasn't too long ago I dealt with that same issue ...positive vibes your way in hopes that it passes soon!

Honestly, I hate to say this but it's very normal and common. This really is developmental. The way I think of it is, 0-3 mths they work on their night sleep. 3-6 it's naps. What could be happening here is that he still doesn't know his days from his nights. His clock isn't quite set yet and in time, he will just sleep through it. It happens for sure. I see posts about this very often at this exact age. I know we went through it too. I was from those hours too and had to be to take the oldest to school too- moms are amazing, aren't we haha how do we do it! it's super hard I know but time flies and this will pass quickly... until the next phase comes to drive you a bit crazy again

Hang in there! Mine did the same and no matter the A times and all that else, it continued for a bit. Just give him a little time to adjust. Do all that you need to get him down to sleep. I used every prop available and they never became hard habits. You can help him set his clock by waking up for the day at the same time each day, opening all blinds, lots of interaction or as much as you can when he's awake (the little bit that he is), and at night you can start doing a BT routine and all NWs remaining in the dark with no interactions. All stuff I'm sure you may be aware of but just so you understand that he is just learning to adjust his nights better.

At this age there isn't much that can be done but to do your best to get him back to sleep. At that time, 4/5am when LOs wake, they normally just aren't tired enough to go back to sleep it seems. What I would during that rough phase is turn on the swing and let it do the work for me. Sometimes it worked and others it didn't. Just give him a little time. He's still very little

HUUUGS! Xo

[paulak412]

Same here my Dd been doing it for ages she 11 weeks.

[Vally]

My DS is nearly 9 weeks and does exactly this too. He is really unsettled after 4am so I usually bring him into bed with us, use a pacifier and usually can get a bit more sleep. Like you I also have to up for 630am to get other 2 to school so yes I feel your pain!! I do remember my other two going through something similar so holding on to this and that its just a phase ! Good luck and big hugs x

[FPT23]

Yes I remember those days (DS2 is now 8 mths) ...I would get him in the swing, or bring him back to bed too. Nurse him back to sleep... just to survive...!

And at that age, none of those became a prop.

It will pass moms! It's rough but it will ...do what you need just to get by! They are too small to pick up habits still. Don't worry

[mamatea4]

Has this just developed?

Was he going back to sleep after 4am feed prior to this?

Per BW book this behaviour usually indicates accidental parenting or a lack of sufficient bedtime routine. But I find it unusual at such a young age for it to be related to accidental parenting. And if he's settling well earlier in the evening it doesn't seem to indicate a need for bedtime routine.

Is he hungry or in any discomfort? He's at the perfect age for a GROWTH SPURT. It typically occurs between 6-8 weeks. If his waking is erratic I'd be very inclined to think this is the issue. You may want to try upping intake during the day.

If that doesn't work it really may be a habitual waking pattern. You could try rechecking your 4s routine and use a paci.

And if those 2 recommendations don't work, you can do the wake-to-sleep technique. Go in an hour earlier than the habitual wake time and gently jostle him awake a little then leave. Do this 3 nights in a row to reset their clock. I did this with DD1 and it worked like a charm!

Hope that helps!

[malibu_nikkus]

Thanks everyone.  It's painful isn't it? Well, after his first feed last night at 12pm (after sleeping 4hrs straight), he woke two hourly. What gives? Surely if accidental paren

[FPT23]

No AP at this stage hun.

They do not have that kind of capability to able to know.

At this age they have growth spurts- very very often! Just keep feeding on demand. There is sooo many changes coming your way. I would say your SOME WHAT out of ur closet to the 5 mth mark when it gets a lot more "consistent"

Hang in there! It's very hard indeed but it will pass

[Vally]

My nights really sound so similar. we have good first stretch from 7pm to 12 then 3 and then pretty much hourly to 2 hourly. It is really frustrating but I do remember from the other 2 it did change.  DS1 always did 12,3 and 5am and then at 16 weeks exactly slept 12 hours. DD1 fed every 3 hours until 9 months when I had to sleep train so who knows what DS2 will do but either way I know it will improve but I certainly miss a good nights sleep!! Xx

[malibu_nikkus]

What about day naps? No matter what the wake time, he naps 30mins. I give him paci and he generally self settles in the cot. He was napping hourly so I'm ptretty sure he can resettle betwee

[FPT23]

Hi!

I'm sorry to say this once again, it's developmental. That's why despite WU times he still short naps. Longer naps will come when they extend their A times. It's not that he knows how to resettle it is mainly the way the sleep cycles work. At this age he starts what u can say is, exiting "baby" sleep and starting to sleep more like adults. Those days of passing out and staying out and not even a tornado can wake them, kinda pass. They now start waking at the end of their sleep cycles. It's changing.

Do give him time. The first 4 months will be very up and down.

Hugs!

[malibu_nikkus]

Thank you!

[FPT23]

Your very welcome!

At that age, what worked for me was resettling all naps. He didn't know how to transition into his next sleep cycle, A times were still too short for long naps, and he didn't know how to self soothe just yet.

What I would do was go in as soon as he woke (30 mins/40-45) and end up holding him or patting him, putting him back to sleep. That gave me another hour usually and a rested baby. Also, I was trying to keep up with the AVERAGE A times, to avoid OT (even though it's inevitable at that age). I tried to find his best A time, as best as I could, and do all I could to get him rested during the day.

Too many naps and so much work would drive me crazy at times, especially when it didn't work. I wouldn't spend more than 15 mins trying. It was exhausting! And I had my other toddler at the time alone- so if it wasn't happening, I would take him out, grab my things and head OUT! The only nap I made sure to get at home was his first nap. Second nap too if I could. After that it was sleeping on the go! I used everything because honestly, it was all about survival and nothing became a prop

I would nurse to sleep at 4am wakes, put him in a swing and let that do the work for me! Car rides and especially strollers at the park or malls, stores etc. it helped getting him that extra sleep he needed in his day.

So basically, resettle any and all naps that you can, don't worry about the props (they can be removed gently and easily a bit later) and just enjoy your new LO. In due time he will adjust. He's still learning

Xo! Many hugs!

[malibu_nikkus]

Thank you. I also try and have the first few naps at home, then go from there. The only problem is, when I am able to resettle him, he wakes every 5-20mins. It DRIVES ME CRAZY! Especially with a toddler in toe.

I tried doing a shorter wake time today, but then he'd take forever to get to sleep, and need help in the end, normally he settles quickly. 

[FPT23]

Yes resettling and having the first naps at home helped. If not I left my house! I never bothered with it because it was only going to be stressful and leave my toddler unattended at that time for way too long. I didn't want him feeling some sort of resentment either

Hmmm interesting about waking every 5 mins after resettling. Are you sure he was fully asleep? What is your method for resettling? Are you working on shh par for now? Honestly, at this little age I was all about swings and such. Wearing the baby, strollers, car rides. Nothing became a prop and I think because I always made sure to TRY and have 1-2 naps at home. Aroubd 3-3.5 months I began to transition to his crib by starting with naps. I feel my success was due to patience and the right timing. When they are capable. What I mean is, you can't expect to put a 2 month old on the ground and expect him to crawl- no matter how much work and how hard you try, it won't happen. Timing and patience worked for me. Slow and steady wins the race! I did not struggle to get him to sleep on his own.

Our hardest part was removing the paci! Haha but I removed it very early and only because when I was weaning the swaddle, he was just pulling it out and it became a big problem. That's another story haha!

At this age though also, I did my best to stick to accurate or average A times. Nailing the right one is a task. Some are high need sleep and others are low end. I discovered mine has always been more on the higher A times, while as DS1 was very sensitive to A time and was on the shorter ends of them. Also, following EAS as best as I could. It isn't going to be consistent but so long as you stick with the ROUTINE (not a rigid schedule) of EAS, it just simplifies things