Author Topic: almost 3 year old suddenly need someone to co-sleep with him.  (Read 527 times)

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Offline needasleepingangel

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almost 3 year old suddenly need someone to co-sleep with him.
« on: October 13, 2016, 15:44:57 pm »
DS is going to be 3 years old in a month. We also have a 4-month old DD.

DS has been sleeping alone in his own room independently for a few months now. But about two weeks ago, he started to ask DH to be with him until he was asleep. Then we had a trip, and we four had to stay in one big bed. After that, he wants DH or me to be with him all night long. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, and found himself alone, he would cry really loud and open our door. Then his cry wakes the baby, and then we have both kids crying. (Actually I wanted to cry too as I have already been handful dealing with DD's sleeping problems. Now I get one more and maybe even more serious problem to deal with.)

Do we need to sleep training DS again as we did before? It is sometimes really scary when someone stand in front of your bed crying in the middle of the night... Please help me and any advice is appreciated. Many thanks.


Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: almost 3 year old suddenly need someone to co-sleep with him.
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2016, 19:10:34 pm »
Hi there!

I wonder if the sleep changes are related to birthday/half birthday disruption?: Development leaps and disequilibrium periods: what they are and tips to help LOs

My DS has just turned 3.5 and has suddenly developed a fear of the dark and is waking in the night wanting me to comfort him and sit in his room until he goes back to sleep. At first I think he genuinely needed comfort but now it is becoming habitual.

I'm following advice here: Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE) & now trying WI/WO as that's the approach suggested to get a previously independant sleeper back to self settling. It sounds like he needs to get back to self settling at BT again so he's not upset to wake up in the night and find your DH has left.  I'd try WI/WO as first choice as he could previously SS and it's a quicker "fix" (in terms of no. nights needed to do it, the first evening of trying it might feel long, but it is worth it to get him more settled at night again)
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline needasleepingangel

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Re: almost 3 year old suddenly need someone to co-sleep with him.
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2016, 03:10:59 am »
Thanks a lot, Scottishmummy.

He said he is afraid of the car noise from outside and also afraid of the monsters. We moved to a new location 1.5months ago and there is a noisy street outside of our window. That might contribute to his bad sleep.

Actually we have been trying the WI/WO method. But we have one major problem: he is able to open the door himself. So when he wakes up at night or at BT, he doesn't just cry inside his room. Instead, he would open the door and look for DH. What should we do to keep him inside his room? Many thanks.  :-*


Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: almost 3 year old suddenly need someone to co-sleep with him.
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2016, 19:35:26 pm »
Ah, bless him, sounds like he might be a bit out of sorts after the holiday and getting used to your new home? I think imagination really ramps up around this age.

I try to just keep taking my DS back to his room when he comes out. If he is upset and needing comfort and finding it hard to settle, I talk him through going back to sleep. So I sit near to him and in a gentle voice say, "lie down, close your eyes, deep breaths" and repeat.  I try to move back and out the room before he's fully asleep.

If your DS is needing this comfort, it might help to do more of a gradual withdrawal approach e.g. Start with something like those sleepy phrases until he is asleep, then another night only until calm, then another night just saying it once or twice before going out, then finally another night just getting to tucking him back into bed.
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD



Offline needasleepingangel

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Re: almost 3 year old suddenly need someone to co-sleep with him.
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2016, 07:34:15 am »
Thank you very much, Scottishmummy.  :-*

We will try the gradual withdrawal approach to see if it is better. Keep my fingers crossed. Hope it works.  ;)


Offline Scottishmummy

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Re: almost 3 year old suddenly need someone to co-sleep with him.
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2016, 16:32:25 pm »
Good luck.  Let us know how you get on.
Xxx
"Touchy/Spirited" DS


"Textbook" DD