3mo not resettling during afternoon naps and OVERtired!

[SaraMamma]

Hello mums!

I have a little problem with my son… He’s just over 3 months (turned 3 months on the 24th October) and he has extremely short afternoon naps!!
So basically, we are still following a 3 hour routine (although he often tends to feed  at 15mins increments… ) and he has almost 2h of awake times (from eyes open to eyes closed).

I have been observing him through a monitor… today for example he went down at 11:40 (got up for a feed at 10:10), started to fall asleep at 11:45, then re-opened his eyes… fell asleep again… eyes definitely closed at 12.

The problem generally is that, after about 40minutes he wakes up and can’t seem to put himself back to sleep! Indeed, today at 12:40 he started to cry. I generally let him try and soothe himself back to sleep for a few minutes, but then when I see his crying starts to escalate I go in and start shushing-patting him.
Today I did it for 40minutes! I use the shush-pat to calm him down, then I just keep going with only the shushing. He “fell asleep” and I could see him re-opening his eyes a bit and then close them again. He had cry-calm-sleep moments about 3 times… at the end though he started crying more vigorously, I checked the time and it was 1:20pm, so I left the room, went back in, opened the curtain and greeted him (1:30pm feed). He greeted me back, smiling in his bed…
 
This happens also for the following nap. Today he’s gone down at 2:50pm (a bit later than expected as he posited a lot all over his clothes so I had to change him), and I already know he’ll wake up at around 3:30pm crying desperately. Generally, I can’t really settle him back to sleep for this nap, not even a bit.

The thing is, he is really tired, he yawns and scratches his eyes.
Also, he does not go down for a nap afterwards. We usually go for a walk at 5pm till 6pm, when I give him his last feed. But he hardly sleeps in the pram now (he used to) and gets to the feed so tired he always falls asleep in the middle of it!
I let him rest 10 minutes, then wake him because he needs to have a feed!

It’s getting harder to see his “I am tired” cues, he does not yawn, rather I notice sometimes his eyes getting a bit red on the eyebrows… So I hope I don’t put him to nap too early or too late.

I have ruled out hunger as the cause of these awakenings because he is not looking for food. Rather he keeps yawning and has his typical “I am tired” kinda cry. I followed Tracy’s book and keep sush-patting him( even if he’s asleep) for 20minutes… but he awakes frustrated anyway, 2/3 times… -__-

Our routine is pretty much this…
E- 7am - wake up and feed (he's generally a fast feeder, done and dusted in approximatively 25mins)

A- 7:30-8:30 Activity involves burping, tummy time, grabbing “exercises” (he loves trying to grab his toys atm)… Then I change him and get him ready for a nap as he shows tiredness signs (only nap of the day he does that…)

S- 8:30-10:00
Y- as long as he sleeps...

E- 10:15
A- 10:45-11:50 (I start getting him ready for bed at 11:30 or so, as he does not yawn here... he just gets frustrated when already overtired)

S- 12/ 1:30PM (although, as said, he tends to wake up around 12:30 and then it’s hard to settle him down again)
Y…
E- 4:15pm (again, if he doesn’t wake up at 3:30pm, which is when he tends to wake up… if so, I’ll stretch it as much as I can)

A-5:15-6pm or so, we always (weather allowing) go for a walk, so he can have a catnap in the pram if needed… but lately he has not napped at all in the pram, although visibly tired!
S- pretty much skipping it.. but he’d need it badly!!
E- 6:15PM I top him up before night time… he falls asleep while eating though as overtired 

A-burping, bath, change into his PJs, book if he’s not overtired
S- 7pm in bed for the nigh
E- 10:30pm dreamfeed
He then sleeps till 7am, when we start again…

I am not sure what else to do in order to help him get a decent rest during the day. Sometimes his day naps sum up only to 2hours and a half!
Any advice, please?!?!?

PS. Sorry for my ridiculously long message! -__-

[Ilaria2510]

Hi!
Are you sure he doesn't want to change his schedule?
My daughter Lily is 8 months and she usually starts doing a mess with naps for a few days until we adjust to a new timing schedule and then magically quiet comes back again.
In my opinion you should shush him before he starts crying, maybe when you see him starting to move a lot, otherwise I think is too late and he becomes nervous and it is difficult to make him sleep again   

[lolsyb1982]

Hi there

I'm wondering if he's OT and that's why he's waking at the 30min mark. A 2hr A time is pretty long for a 3 month old. The average is around 1.5hrs at this age.

Have you tried putting him down earlier?

[SaraMamma]

Hi,
thank you both for your reply.

Ilaria2510 - What do you mean by change in his schedule? What would that imply? I know, I thought about going in at the time when I know he's about to wake up, but aren't I supposed to wait because otherwise they become dependent on an external help? 

losyb1982 - I honestly don't know. He is so engaged in playing with his toys (trying to grab them) that he doesn't show any sign of tiredness! The moment I see him scratching his eyes or his eyes getting a bit red I immediately start to change him and put him down.

In the late afternoon he pretty much is awake from 3:40/4pm to 7pm (his bed time). I find it ridiculous, he's so OT, but then he falls asleep fussing probably for 2/3 minutes and then he's fine for the night.

Also, if I put him in bed too early in the afternoon I'm scared he'll be like "hey, I'm not tired, why am I in bed?!". And what if he then wakes up well before his feeding time??? 

Not sure what to do... I hardly have time to eat and relax a second in the afternoon...  -___-

[deb]

3 months was hard for us (we also had reflux as part of the equation, but 3 months is a big developmental leap as well).

I'm going to suggest for at least one A time during the day (maybe the first one?), just keep the activity low-key - maybe some quiet play with soft toys in his room, dimly-lit w/soft music if any, or dim lights as it gets closer to naptime. See if this helps you sort out his evolving sleepy cues (helped me a LOT!).

Also, has he had any early wakings before he wakes for the day, say around 5AM? That was another part of the equation for us: Josie would wake and feed and then go back to sleep, but not deep sleep - only more of a catnap before waking an hour later for the day. For us the solution was a dreamfeed to top her up to get her thru that 5AM waking, which helped her wake fully refreshed and able to stay awake for more than an hour without getting cranky (and then the short A times were leading to short naps).

Have you seen this? How Tracy Helped Josie and her Family Get Past 45-Min. Naps!

[SaraMamma]

Hi deb,

yes I already give him a dreamfeed at 10:30pm, which takes him through to 7am. He wakes up at around 4:30 but just fussing a bit, then puts himself back to sleep. So night time is fine.

His A time is already quite long (around 2h) which might be the problem according to other users... I'll give it a try today, I'll try and put him to nap after 1.5h and see how it goes.. after all I do that in the morning and that is his best nap of the day! 

Thank you so much for your suggestion though, I'll definitely try to keep the activities low key.

Cheers!
Sa