I am a Human Pacifier for my 11.5 month old! Exhausted! Pls help!

[mtemte]

OK ladies, I need serious help pleeeaasseeeee!!!

Lots of accidental parenting after severe silent reflux, surgery for a cleft lip and feeding strikes have led to the situation today where I am my 11.5mo human pacifier! Reflux is under control thanks to medication, feeding strikes have been sorted out, I believe she is eating well during the day now as recently she has been feeding a lot less during the night (and her nappies are not very wet at all in the morning time), daytime naps are getting longer, which is fantastic... So we are slowly getting through the haze which has been the last 11 months.

However, as we had been cosleeping, night times are still a nightmare. We started PUPD a couple of months ago and we got to settling her in her cot but she got sick and we reverted to bad habits. Now back to settling her in her cot (still at shush pat stage) but its getting better. However, she is waking multiple times a night and due to pure exhaustion I am taking her into the bed with me, where she latches on for the night (not to feed, just to suck). She can wake every 20 minutes from bedtime to 1am, where I take her into the bed with me. Recently DH has been settling her til 1am and then brings her into the bed, where she latches on for the night. If I so much as move, she wakes and screams the house down....

Our routine is roughly as follows:
7.45 wu and breakfast (breastfed and breakfast)
11.30/ midday lunch
12.30/1pm Nap
4pm wu
5pm breastfed
6.30pm dinner
7.15pm breast and bath
7.45pm breast and bed

This is the weekly routine as she is at the childminders. She will not take a morning nap anymore and has slipped into this 1 long nap routine herself. At the weekend, she might have a longish nap about midday 1.5-2 hours) and a short nap later in the day. She settles herself at CM and at home for naps, has a feed, into her cot drowsy and settle her with putting her bum.

I really need to sort her nightwakings as I can't do it any more. Can anyone pls help??

[jessmum46]

Hi and hugs, I have no experience of weaning a nursing prop at this age but will bump in the hope someone has some thoughts for you xx

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there!

It sounds like you have made some huge steps after a difficult start.  Those nights do sound exhausting though.  Have you ruled out teething and ensured reflux hasn't increased again?

If physical causes for waking are ruled out, I think your first key step would be getting her back to self settling at BT.  At close to 1yo, I wonder whether sh-pat or PU/PD is still the most effective approach? If she was previously self settling but has gone back to needing help after illness, I think I'd try Walk In/Walk Out at BT and for NWs:
Getting back on track using Walk In/Walk Out (WI/WO)
Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

It will take a few nights and probably some crying a dif you're going to do it, you need to stick with it and be very consistent I.e. Only WI/WO, no cosleeping, no boob. Expect not much sleep on night 1 but improvement after that.

NB- this approach is Not Crying it out- there will be crying when you leave the room but you wait, see if she calms at all and then go back in as you need to I.e. If she seems to be escalating the crying, resettle, using soothing sh-pat or PU/PD (but not nursing) then go out again...and repeat until sleep!

Good luck
Xx