14mo Nighttime Sleep Help - uses BF prop and Frequent Night Wakes

[huddysmama]

My son is 14 months and has never slept through the night, however recently his night waking has become more frequent and we are all exhausted. HELP!

I'm guilty of accidental parenting - my son has never been a great sleeper and I am so tired I let him BF to sleep. From the beginning he woke 1-2x per night and will go back to sleep easily after feeding for a few minutes.  In an attempt to wean him from wanting to be held/fed we put his crib mattress on the floor and I lay next to him on the floor.  Recently though he has started getting up every 1.5 hours and needing to feed for comfort - he falls asleep and I try to go back to room and he wakes up and the whole process starts again 

A typical schedule is:

Wake - 7:00am
Breakfast - 8:00am
Play
Nurse - 11:00am
Nap - 11:00am - 12:30/1:00pm
Lunch - 1:00pm
Play
Snack - 3:30pm
Play
Dinner - 6:00pm
Bath/Books/Wind down - 6:30pm
Nurse - 7:00pm
Falls asleep eating - put in bed asleep - 7:30pm
Wake/Nurse - 11:00pm
Wake/Nurse - 1:00am
Wake/Nurse - 3:00am
Wake/Nurse - 5:00am
Wake - 7:00am

I'm exhausted just writing this!

At night when he wakes I try to lay with him and pat his back/hold hands/shh but he gets so frantic and screams I give in and nurse him back to sleep.

I'm not open to CIO.

Please help!!!

[Palmira78]

Hi there. You have all my sympathy since I am also having lots of NWs. I also will never let my LO CIO, although there is a difference between crying in your presence than abandon him as in CIO. Have you considered eliminating the prop= BF with PU/PD? I am just throwing ideas in case they can help (that I am trying myself), until an experienced moderator writes to you.

[Haribo2012]

Hi agree with pp that you need to replace BF with something else, 2 hourly wake ups  are sleep cycles so if LO doesn't know how to go to sleep alone he will continue to wake.

I'd prob try pushing that nap a little further towards middle of the day asyour having s longer A time to bed and if he's OT it might not help with settling.

This is a good read Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

Us mods are just everyday mums so we appreciate all posters help and suggestions, thanks nluno keep the suggestions coming 

[huddysmama]

Thanks to you both.  We tried the PU/PD last night and he screamed with me in the room for 2 hours  We're going to try the No Cry Sleep and hope it is a more subtle transition...

[Palmira78]

Good luck. I read that book and it has excellent sugestions. One that I thought was very good is to encourage your baby to fall asleep in different ways, in the stroller, at the car seat... this test can take place  for the naps and shows you and you lo that he can do it without nursing.
Do not feel bad about "Accidental parenting". I read somewhere in this site that the way we confort our children is not by accident. We end up with bad habits because of our lo tenperament. We always try to do the best even if it is not the ideal. Do not be hard on yourself you are already going through too much.

[huddysmama]

Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement! We had our 1 year appointment with the pediatrician and she told us "I promise he will not want to do this when he goes to college" - nice reminder that they are only little for a short while

[Haribo2012]

So true and I never thought DS1 would get to nearly 5 years old so quick x