Routine advice for 8.5month old

[Mrsmcp]

Hello all

I have just come across your forum and I'm wondering if you might be able to offer any advice on my son's current routine. He is 8.5 months and is a good eater (91st percentile for weight) but more often than not, he is waking at 3-4am and the only way to settle him is to BF him. I don't think he 'needs' this feed but have tried to settle him in other ways and it doesn't help. I wonder if I need to tweak his routine. Here is an average day for us:

6.30/7.00 Wake and BF
8.30 Breakfast
9.30/10.00 Nap (ranges from 35 mins to 1hr30 but usually about an hour)
11.00 BF
12.30/1.00 Lunch
2.00 Nap (again, ranges from 35 mins to 1hr30 but usually about an hour)
3.00 BF
4.30/5.00 - will sometimes have a cat nap if we are out and about - seems to be easier at bedtime if he has this and haven't noticed a difference in his night awakenings whether he has it or not.
5.30/6.00 - dinner
6.30 - bath
7.00 - BF/Formula and bedtime

He normally goes to sleep easily at bedtime (might need a cuddle if he's a bit unsettled) but does fight sleep at nap times for 10/15 mins or so. I am wondering if I have the balance off - he seems tired when I put him down for a nap as he's yawning, rubbing eyes etc but perhaps I need to adjust things. I'm just really struggling with this waking at 3/4am as I can no longer get back to sleep and so my day often starts then!

Would value any input or advice

Thanks so much x

[Lindsay27]

Hi and welcome!! Looking at your routine it could be possible that he needs a touch more A time, I would say that if naps are typically an hour if you push the A time by even 15mins they might extend to 1.5hrs and then you can get 2 solid naps and no CN.

A feed in the night is still normal, especially for BF babies, he could genuinely need the calories.  Given he's only waking the 1 time and if he settles well after the feed I'm not entirely sure I'd change anything to be honest.  If he won't settle without the feed it probably means he's hungry

[Mrsmcp]

Thank you Lindsay!! So helpful to have that perspective - I have a lot of well meaning family members telling me that I'm making a rod for my own back by feeding him and I need to train him out of it. So I've been trying to settle him other ways but like you say, if feeding settles him then he probably is hungry! My instinct is to go to him and feed him so perhaps I should have some more faith in that

I am a bit worried about my return to work in a few weeks as if I'm not getting back to sleep, it's going to be v difficult to function! My mum is suggesting I introduce a dreamfeed to help see him through but I haven't given him one of those for a long time so I'd be reluctant to start that up again - and I think you're meant to wean them off that anyway once they are eating 3 meals aren't you?

Thank you again x

[Lindsay27]

I do believe yes, around 8/9 months you are supposed to start to wean the DF.  I totally know about not being able to fall back asleep, I used to struggle with that myself, it's so hard.  I'm not sure really what to suggest, with my DS I ended up needing to see my doctor who prescribed me a low dose sleeping med with helped a lot, not suggesting that is the best thing for you, just what I ended up having to do.

I do think given he's he in higher percentile the NW is likely just hunger, especially if he settles easily afterwards and does a nice big stretch before