No clue what I'm doing!...

[Emami]

It's been a while since I've needed the sleep boards, and I can't say that I'm happy to be back! DD2 is 2yrs 2m and having some horrendous nights. She's been an independent sleeper for ages and has been a good sleeper for about a year now. Before that she was very prone to long NWs, and they are back! 

It has been the last couple of weeks that it's gone downhill but specifically the last 4 nights since we've been home. We were away over Christmas, which is when the NWs started but we were staying with family and sharing a room with her and she went back to sleep relatively quickly and quietly. While we were away she was also in a bed for the first time as  her grandparents didn't have a crib for her and we didn't want the extra baggage of a travel cot to fly with. She did fine in the bed, didn't get out of it at all, but she is getting out now that we're home.

She has a lot going on - jet lag (7hrs difference), probably SA from having shared a room with us, her last molars have come through sometime in the last couple of weeks so may have caused some disruption although they are out now, BGB, probably some developmental stuff. My problem is I have no clue what to do with her when she's awake at night. I don't mind sleeping on her floor for a while, they all go through stuff and if that what she needs I'd do it. But when I'm there with her she just messes around and it seems like I keep her awake even though I don't engage with her. It drives me insane hearing her shuffle around and fidget. If she would go to sleep with me in the room I'd ride it out but it's not happening.

Since she's typically an IS I thought I'd try WIWO but she goes absolutely nuts when I leave and gets straight out of bed. I've been returning her, telling her the first time that it's time to go to sleep and after that not speaking. She's gone from being right at the door to getting out and standing at the foot of the bed, and from me putting her back in bed to going back herself, so it seems like progress but the nit stalls. I keep thinking it's working as she'll seem like she's calming down, but then she gets ramped up again and it just goes on and on.  The last 4 nights she's eventually gone back to sleep with me or DH on her floor after she's lost the plot and worn herself out. She's been awake anywhere from 2-4hrs and I don't know what to do with her! If staying with her doesn't help and leaving doesn't help what do I do?! 

[anna*]

Could you put up a gate at her door and sit just outside it? So she can see you and hear you but you're not right there in the room? Then gradually move away from the gate until eventually she can just see your elbow or whatever (but can still hear you) and then you're round the corner and can silently get up and go away? I remember doing something like that with Stan.

[tathi-b]

Oh I feel for you!  It's as if all of a sudden the lights went on inside their little heads!

Jet lag seems to affect small people more than it does adults, my daughter takes 2-3 weeks to go back to normal sleep after a big trip! 

I'm no expert on toddler sleep (I'm only starting out on my journey) but I wonder if she isn't going through a "this is really cool" phase?  It sounds like you have recently moved her from the cot to a "big girl bed" where she has freedom to get up whenever she wants.  With that, maybe there is also the fear of the unknown (which could explain why she wants you in the room) - there are no more bars between her and the room itself if you get what I mean.  I read somewhere that around 2.5 - 3 years is when children start becoming aware of their surroundings and becoming afraid of the things they can't name or even see... It's the monster in the wardrobe scenario. 

To me it sounds like you are dealing with a few different issues all which could be affecting her sleep - jet lag, teeth, coming back home and getting back into her normal routine and the new bed.

Have you tried a small night light in her room in case she is afraid of something?

[Emami]

I don't think we could do the gate on the door just because of the way our upstairs and her bedroom is laid out. She wouldn't be able to see us in the doorway and her room is too small to rearrange 😞

I'm hoping it's jetlag more than any of the other stuff as last night was finally better so maybe it's just a case of waiting it out. After I posted the next two nights were horrendous with more of the same, but last night she woke up at 11 and just chatted to herself for a bit. No crying, no getting out of bed, so I left her to it and she went back to sleep 😀 She did get up at 3am and was at her door but not hysterical, and I put her back in bed and lay on her floor. That time did take her about an hour to get back to sleep but she was quiet and calm and a HUGE improvement from the 4hours she's been making a habit of! I still had to wake her this morning to get DD1 to school, but she was happy whereas the last few mornings have been a huge struggle.

Now that she's a bit better rested I'm hoping it wasn't just a one off good night and that it'll continue heading in the right direction. She's been in a bgb for a month now without a problem, so I think getting out is probably more to do with SA and getting OT than novelty.