4am wakings again

[SusieQue]

Okay, here I am again with DS2 who I’m sure was sent to destroy me!  He is consistently waking up around 4am, sometimes 4.30, sometimes 3.50am but always thereabouts, and he just doesn’t go back to sleep.  He wakes up crying, we go in and try to shush him back to sleep but that seems to just enrage him and he bats us away and starts rolling around his cot, I’ve tried picking him up and he just wrestles me so I put him back down and just stand in the room – nothing works.  I’m pretty sure it’s not pain from teeth waking him up as he’s been doing this for weeks now.  This morning I tried giving him some milk as I thought maybe he’s hungry, and he drank a whole 9oz bottle and then screamed like he wanted more.  I’ve said on posts previously that he’s a pretty fussy eater but he has been getting better and always has dinner and a yoghurt after, but I’m wondering if maybe it is hunger?  To try and combat the early waking we don’t put him down for his nap before 11:
 
A 4am – get up
E 5am porridge (has toast around 7am and a bit more of my porridge)
10am – snack (usually one of those oat bars or oatcakes and peanut butter)
11am sleep – usually goes down without a fuss, awake and asleep within a couple of minutes
12.30 wake up (sometimes sleeps until 1pm)
Lunch – peanut butter sandwich and fruit
E 4.45 dinner
S 6-6.30 – we put him down between 6 and 6.30 depending on how cranky he gets. He has 9oz of milk before bed but is always awake when he goes down.  The last few nights he has finished his bottle and cried for more so we give him a couple more ounces
I know he has a fairly early bedtime, but I could understand if he was waking at 5 as that would be 11 hours.  At the moment he’s only sleeping 10 hours at most.  Should I be pushing the nap back even more?  I’m going to give him an afternoon snack today and see if that helps, I had stopped giving him one as he then wasn’t eating a lot of dinner but maybe things have changed.  If anyone has any ideas I would be very grateful!

[Haribo2012]

Hi theregoah you must be tired, how old is he?

[SusieQue]

Sorry I should have said! He's almost 15 months old. I should add that once he's awake he finds it very difficult to get back to sleep - this morning he woke at 4.20 and I cuddled him for a bit and he started dozing off. Then it's like he caught himself falling asleep and then woke himself up!

[Haribo2012]

4am is just too early to start the day, will he go back to sleep if you lay on the floor next to his cot? With DS1 we had some silly EW at this age and for us it was developmental stuff with teeth.

Will he have a CN mid afternoon to try and shift the day later?

[SusieQue]

No he absolutely won't nap in the afternoon, we have had many battles to get him to try and it just became so stressful for all involved! He was at nursery yesterday and napped from 12-1.40, so we put him down at 6.45, asleep within minutes. He woke a couple of times in the night at 12 and 2 but put himself back to sleep, then awake again at 4. He starts shouting and then I go in, I brought him into our bed and he thrashes around so we just take him downstairs and basically start his day! His bedtime doesn't seem to make any difference to his wake up time, which is very frustrating. I'm starting to think we're stuck with this at the moment!

[Martini~]

For how long you offered him porridge at 5am? No matter what caused or is causing this wakings, I bet he is hubgry around 4/5am today if he eats there breakfast.

[SusieQue]

No that was only the last two days when my husband got him up (I could have killed him!). So this morning we've been up since 3.45am. He woke up coughing then started talking, the talking turned to crying and here we are. I stood in his room for half an hour while he thrashed about, playing with his bunnies, I tried cuddling him back to sleep and he just cried and fidgets about. He slept from 11-12.30 yesterday and was asleep at 6.30. I just don't know what the problem is, what frustrates me is that i just can't relax him enough to get him back to sleep. We get him up because it's the least stressful course of action for everyone involved (my husband is up for work at 5.15) but it really is starting to destroy us all!

[Haribo2012]

Could you try a mattress in his room so you basically don't take him out of cot or room and just lay next to him? I know it's hard we had a phase of 4.30 wakes with DS1 and I did get him back to sleep by cuddling but sometimes it took and hour then it would be time for me to get up for work.

It will pass I know it doesn't seem like it but it will.

[Martini~]

Supporting Zoe... with 3:45/4:30 wake up I would just stick to staying in his room until he finally goes back to sleep.

[SusieQue]

Thanks ladies, I'll try that tomorrow. I know he'll go mad though as he's so used to getting up, but it is getting ridiculous now! He wakes up DS1 too, so the whole house is awake from 4am (DS1 doesn't go back to sleep either but at least he stays in his room!)

[cath~]

if you can't get a second nap, I'd try pushing his nap later, e.g. by 5-10 mins every couple of days, and move BT on as well.

Also do as PPs said, staying in his room, and try to keep him in bed each morning for a bit longer, extending as you move BT on.

Would you say he's LSN?  I know it's young, but some very LSN LOs won't do much more than a 10hr night whilst they're still getting a reasonable length nap (e.g. 1hr30-2hrs).  If your LO is one of those, then you may just have to work on shifting his whole routine, to get a better WU.  Does he seem tired/cranky when he's awake or is his mood generally OK?  Basically, I mean does he seem like he's getting enough sleep overall?