9 month old - really struggling with naps and night time sleeping - Need HELP!

[eebeejeebee]

My DD is 9 months and we've struggled with her sleep since the day she was born - she has never napped properly, mostly doing 30 minute naps with the occasional 1.5-2 hour naps but these are few and far between. Night time had been going well - down to one night feed (for about a week) and now we are back on multiple NW. 

Recently things have gotten so much worse - I think it's the 9 month sleep regression. I really don't know what to do anymore. As I write this my DD is having a full blown meltdown about going to bed. She recently learned to crawl and pull up and now immediately rolls over and either sits or stands in her​ cot whilst crying hysterically. I'm attempting to do gradual withdrawal (I'm sitting in her room until she goes to sleep as I think she's also suffering from separation anxiety).  However, I've been putting her down from standing now for 30 minutes but she immediately starts crying again, rolls over and stands up again. How long should I keep this up for - it feels like she's never going to go to sleep - and she's so upset!  *Update - I've just given in and rocked her to sleep.

I know she's seriously over tired - today I've only managed to get her to take 2 30 minute naps due to her repeatedly standing/crying at nap time. I resorted to taking her out in the buggy for both of her naps as she repeatedly stood up and got hysterical in her cot.

I need help!

I've read other posts that suggest lengthing her A the so have been trying that.

Her schedule looks like this (roughly):

WU - 6am (can be earlier e.g. 5.30)
E - BF at 7 - breakfast at 8
A - 3hrs (recently increased to this time from 2hrs 20 which was resulting in a 1hr 20minute nap up until a week and a bit ago)
S - 9am (usually 30 mins) (used to be approx. 1hr 20 minutes up until about a week and a half ago)

E - 11 (BF) Then lunch at 11.30 - usually eats lots)
A - 3 hrs
S - 12.30 (again 30 minutes) (never been able to get this nap longer)

E - 2.30/3 then dinner at 4/4.30

Catnap at 3 for 30 minutes

BF then bedtime routine
Bedtime at 6.30
Then lots of protesting and NWs.

She fights every nap.

Up until a week and a half ago, she self settled for every nap and bedtime within minutes of being put down.

Please can someone suggest something as we are at our wits end!

[VnessMorris]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your struggles! 

What I noticed from your post is that your DD is still doing 2x naps plus a catnap? Is this her usual EASy routine? If so, I would try to drop that catnap so she ends up with just 2x naps during the day (one in the morning and one in the afternoon).

If this is the case here is a link about dropping the catnap:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=246541.0

What you describe about wanting to sit, stand, etc...just before sleep sounds a bit like UT...do you think she will do longer ATs over a few days? By bumping out her ATs it will help drop that catnap.

Here's a link about ATs:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.0

If she's resistant to longer ATs, I've seen posts where some moms would bump 5mins every 3days until their LO's achieve the ATs needed to sleep well.

Currently, my DD2 is  9.5months old and has ATs of 3:30-4:00's. Her ATs consists of cruising, free standing, etc...basically practicing what she wants which sounds like what your DD is doing at bedtime?

HTH!
V.

[eebeejeebee]

Hi Vness

Thanks for replying!

I know my LO should be on 2 naps but because they are so short I feel she needs the third nap to catch up.

I think I'm stuck in an OT/UT loop which for the life of me i cannot figure out how to get out of!

Last night after I rocked her to sleep she woke at 11 and I fed her. She then woke at 2.15 and we tried to resettle her but ended up feeding her at 3 as I won't feed her before 3. She then woke at 5.30 babbling but that quickly deteriorated to crying sitting up in her bed. There was no resettling her.

So my question is what do I do about her naps today? Do I put her down at 9? That's 3.5 hours awake time? What do I do if she gets hysterical and repeatedly standing in her cot? How long should I try to settle her? What do I do if she it naps for 30 minutes (which is very likely). Do I put her down earlier for her next nap, but then what do I do about bedtime if her next nap is only 30 minutes?

Sorry lots of questions but I'm really struggling with getting out of this OT/UT loop.

[VnessMorris]

Hey eebeejeebee,

You can try and increase DD's A time to around 3:15, then 3:30 etc..  I did this with my Dd2 by adding 15-20 mins to her 1st AT as I knew she could handle it. Her subsequent ATs during the day were shorter but I tried to push each AT out a bit (e.g. 5-10mins). If she ever woke up at 30mins into her nap, it meant she was OT, and I shh/pat her back to sleep. Sometimes, I ended up APOP with her sleeping on me just so she could rest/sleep until the next cycle began and to keep her on track. It took a few days  but eventually she got used to longer ATs. And you will end up with not enough time to fit a catnap in due to the longer ATs.

BW says to extend ATs  slowly at 10/15 minutes every couple of days to allow your LO to get used to the increase in A time- otherwise they get OT. Maybe start with this and see how your DD takes it?

HTH,
V.