18 month old wont go to sleep if Mummy is doing bed time! :(

[tathi-b]

Hello again!  It's been a little while since I posted here...  This time though with a really weird "sleep issue" though.

My little girl is 18 months and simply refuses to go to sleep if I'm the one who is putting her down.  And when I say refuses, I mean REFUSES! I'm talking about the pleading - "sit, sit Mama" to the crying and screaming until she has spots on her forehead from the strain and there is snot everywhere.  It's ugly!  No, I don't leave her to cry, but even if Daddy goes in mid bed time routine because she isn't settling she will scream and cry.

Up until a few months ago we were doing really well.  Normal bed time routine.  Bath, story, milk, sit for a couple of minutes and into the cot pretty dozy but still awake.  It all started going downhill for no reason that I can name.  She would complain and whimper a bit so I would stay with her.  In the room but not holding her and in the end it became a fight to sleep.  From our average 15 - 20 minutes I was staying in there for an hour!  When her Daddy does bed time we have no such fuss. 

I decided to try to de-escalate the whole situation and take it slowly but, as if she sensed the change coming, she became super clingy and wouldn't even let me get up from the chair without desperate crying.  We tried that for about a week and it only got worst.  It breaks my heart!  So in the end, for now Daddy is doing bed time.  Which is really bad because it's a lovely moment that I want to be a part of too - I feel like we are missing out on cuddling time and I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit jealous - sounds silly I know!

I wonder if I should just let Daddy put her to bed a little while longer and then reintroduce myself into the bed time routine slowly?  Has anyone had similar issues?  Any ideas?

xx

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, awhh it pulls at your heart strings doesn't it. I'd personally let Dad do it for a while, it could all be part of 18 month SR.

How's naps?

[tathi-b]

I never thought of the sleep regression!  It's so odd and feels like it's been ongoing for ages now - 2 months almost!  You are right, it pulls at the heart strings and makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong or somehow harming her.  I feel like I'm missing out on bonding time with her.  I know that she is growing and will become more independent but boy is this hard on me!

I work so when she is with the childminder there are no problems either. 

On the weekends when I try to put her down for nap initially it was fine and it got progressively worst until I stopped doing that as well a couple of weeks ago.

Do you think that she will eventually let me put her down again?

Her routine seems fine at the moment, given she sleeps through the night. 

6 ish wake up

12 nap
2pm wake up (or be woken around 2:15)

7/7:15 bed

x

[Haribo2012]

Awhh bless you, day looks good.

Could you do stories and cuddles in another room then just let Dad pop her in bed? My eldest would never let daddy put him to bed was always me but now he's older daddy does it, DS2 however is more daddy....!

It will pass I'm sure and the SR does funny things to them, try not to stress about it for now. Maybe back off as such as she might sense your frustration x

[tathi-b]

That's a good idea.  I might just give her the time she needs for now.  In fairness, she has always been very slow with her progressions so we are probably at the tail end of this phase.

Thanks for helping.

[Haribo2012]

Good luck, these phases are there to just try us