Help with toddler sleep

[sammy23]

My 27 month old little boy has always been a great sleeper he has never needed much help to fall asleep he did go through phases but never needed any help to sleep apart from reassurance. Recently he was potty training for about a month but regressed and totally gave up I think he may have started to early he then figured out how to climb out of his cot I was resistant to put him to a toddler bed as he is very very active and i feel he is to young still to understand he needs to stay in bed but we kept putting him back to the cot eventually he stopped climbing out and settled, recently he has become totally dependant on us to staying in the room with him he wants us to hold his hand it's like he's scared What do I do now to help him settle when he wakes at night he won't go back to sleep at all x I asked for advice here recently regarding his nap and I shortened it to 1 hour which worked and helped with night waking but since he seems scared and he won't settle without one of us being in the room for night or day sleep 😴 Is there a phase they go through at this age like separation anxiety or anything x help appreciated

[ginger428]

Yes, they do go through a fear-ful stage around 2 and also around 3 for some kiddos.

We had to try several things before we found what worked. A night light, leaving the door open, and cuddle toy in bed, and lots and lots of reassurance worked for us.  We also used phrases that helped him remember that we'd be back if he needed us... so we always went back if he called. Then said, "I'll stay 1 min and give you extra hugs, then it's time to sleep.  Mommy is here if you need." Then I would leave.  I would return if he was distressed and say the same thing. I would ask how big he'd like his door to be open and that kind of helped distract him.

Other moms here have had to directly address fears... whether they were shadows, or whatnot.  My DS did ask about some shadows on the wall, but I showed him it was the curtains and we later played with shadows and lights with a flashlight... basically made it a "fun" thing and not a scary thing.

Most importantly, if you stay calm and keep it light and fun, it'll help in the long run.  I know it's not easy so hope this helps.

[sammy23]

Thank you he needed us to stay and hold his hand while he fell asleep or he'd say rub my back but we gradually moved further away from his cot now I sit at the door and if he asks I say mammys here that has helped with the sleeping but he won't sleep a full night he wakes a lot sometimes screaming we're getting no sleep we do the same thing to get him back asleep but as he wakes during the night he is less tierd last night he woke about 5 times took him 1.30hr to get back asleep at on stage then around 5 we brought him to our bed we were desperate for sleep as we new we'd be up early i no this doesn't help the matter but he doesn't seem to be settling at all his routine during day is still same I've tried missing out on his nap but he ends up worse over tierd and taking ages to fall asleep 😴

[ginger428]

What's his routine during the day? Can you put it in a format like this...

WU (wake up)-
N (nap)-
BT (bedtime)-

When does he have dinner and start bedtime routine? What do you do before bed?