Author Topic: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!  (Read 92 times)

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Offline dinakab

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Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« on: November 09, 2017, 04:54:39 am »
Our LO is 2 months and was recently diagnosed with silent reflux. We have her on Gaviscon and it seems to be helping. Now, our Dr. advised us to keep her upright for 30 mins after feedings to keep the reflux at bay, problem is that we are now worried she is getting too used to being carried all the time. Whenever we come to put her down for a bit either in her bouncy chair or sleephead (which we have propped up) she starts getting cranky after a few short minutes. She immediately shuts up though when someone picks her up. Any advice? My cousin went through hell with a clingy child and I would love avoiding having my LO go down the same route...HELP!

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Re: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2017, 11:33:57 am »
Hello and welcome to BW forums

It's quite normal at 8 wks old that your LO just wants some company and to be held, I wouldn't worry too much about this being a sign of a "clingy baby" or what the future holds in terms of ability to play independently.

Refluxers quite often need to be more upright and even an elevated chair/basket etc may not be enough of an angle to actually reduce the pain or discomfort of the acid. if she is experiencing acid coming up then she may need to be more upright and the way she gets this is to cry for attention and stop when she is lifted.
I also found with my refluxer he absolutely hated a bouncy chair I got him. I though it would help as it was elevated but he would initially look quite happy for about 1 min then scream blue murder to get out of it. We got very very little use out of it before I totally gave up - it just was not a comfortable place for him - he did better on the floor to be honest.

Gaviscon is a common medication for a first try. Mine also started on gavi. Many people here have found that gavi shows initial improvement but doesn't seem to last so after a couple of weeks the symptoms are all back and it's just not working well enough.  I would keep this in mind as your DD might need to trial a different medication to control the acid.
Also if/when the gavi doesn't work you will likely experience all the same problem you were having before including disturbed sleep, nap problems are not always about routine or LOs ability to self settle.

Another aspect of reflux many of us have experienced is that LO might feed better at night than they do in the day and might not need to be elevated for 20-30 mins at the BT feed, the dream feed or any night feeds.  You might experiment with this and see how it goes because it can make quite a big difference to everyone's amount of sleep if you can pop LO back in the cot after a night feed rather than holding for the 30 mins.

Just going back to your worry about clinginess.
All children experience phases of SA (seperation anxiety) which is an absolutely normal developmental phase. It is often linked to certain developments (such as learning to crawl and learning to walk) but can also be caused by changes in their life and routine or pain (reflux, teething, illness).  It's amazing how they tend to know when they need more attention and when they can mange quite well with less.
At 2 months old your LO is still bonding with you, the ability to bond and have physical contact with you is absolutely essential for healthy development so your baby will seek this out - even if it means complaining whilst you try to put her down for 5 mins so you can shower!
If you have already started naps and night sleep in the cot (well done!) your LO will already be spending more than half her time not being held - it makes sense she wants as much of you as she can get during the time she is awake.  She is probably now starting to show more interest in the world around her too, so she will be looking to you for your smiles, songs, chatter, and to introduce her to the world in those short periods she is awake between naps.
 
Generally the advice with bouts of SA for older LOs is to take LO everywhere you possibly can with you and to put aside any non-essential chores for a few days until the worst of the phase passes. Often the phase will pass more quickly if you give LO the attention and reassurance they need rather than trying to get them to used to being alone - in effect you spend more time with them, more picking up and more cuddling, touching and talking which fills their need, increases their confidence and they will then be ready to take steps into the big world independently, knowing you are always there to return to for support any time needed - you are the secure base from where they set out and return after their explorations.  if you try to push a LO away to encourage independence the chances are it will back fire and they will be ever more clingy and unwilling to make those steps into the big world.
Obviously I can't say what your cousin did or didn't do, and I don't want to judge, every parent does their best for their child and does what they believe is right, every child is an individual and some are more "clingy" than others depending on their character and temperament.  I would just say to you that knowing someone with a "clingy" child doesn't mean that your child will be the same or that this is something to worry yourself over. Try to focus on the bond you have with your baby and teaching her that you will always always be there for her, no matter what...this is really the only thing you can do if there is anything that can "avoid" having LO become clingy.

I hope this helps.


Offline dinakab

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Re: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2017, 07:22:30 am »
Hey!! Thanks so much for your insight...what you just said about Gaviscon just might be the reason we have had a rough time the past two days!!! Out of nowhere our LO has been a nightmare. She eats for a few minutes then refuses to continue. We start to burp her and she just screams then starts eating her hand after a while (obv still hungry) but when I try to get her to eat again she wont and goes into a complete meltdown. She has also been crying on and off throughout the day and only quietens down when we carry her. I have a feeling that we might need to change her medication :-\

Regarding the night feeds, those thankfully havent been a problem and we only have those reflux moments during the day.

And about the clinginess, I couldnt agree with you more...I know she needs all the love and cuddles from me and her father and we do constantly give them to her, I was just worried that we might be setting ourselves up for trouble later down the road. But I guess if that happens we will have to deal with it when it does...as long as she feels loved and at ease in our arms we wont be stop!
D


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Re: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2017, 08:45:12 am »
What you are describing does sound like the reflux is not controlled (gavi puts a thick barrier on top of the milk rather than actually working to reduce the acid). I'm not a medical person, just a mum who had a refluxer and who has read lots of threads on BW from people with refluxers.  For my DS after 2 gavi trials which only helped for maybe a week, he went onto ranitidine plus a thickener in the milk which he did much better with.
I would head back to your paedi asap and explain how the symptoms have returned. It sounds like reflux medication would be worth a try.

We do have a reflux board if you need further help with that, there are members here who know more about reflux than I do.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=13.0

Please do feel welcome to post here or to any of the boards if you have more questions, or want a hand to hold, or just to chat about baby development etc.


Offline dinakab

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Re: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2017, 04:09:29 am »
Yeah i think Gavi is not working anymore. Taking her back to her Ped who had mentioned Naxium before we started Gavi. Will see what she says today and hopefully things improve.

Thank you for your help!! Will def check out the link you sent :)
D

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Re: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2017, 18:58:35 pm »
How did you appointment go?


Offline dinakab

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Re: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2017, 05:49:39 am »
Sorry for the late reply!
Dr said her reflux is definitely acting up so she started her on Nexium...told me to hang in there because it takes ten days to actually work. We are on day 6 today so fingers crossed!!

Facing a new challenge though the past two days...LO will feed for a few minutes then pull off and refuse to eat...there's no screaming like she does with the reflux episodes but just whining whenever I try to put her back on the breast. I am sure she is still hungry because she'll sit there and eat her hand when I give up and put her on my shoulder to burp...no idea why she is doing this.
Such a struggle to feed this little girl, it's really getting discouraging and has me guessing whether I should stop breastfeeding and try formula... I love BF her but it's become so difficult :(

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Re: Reflux baby - How to avoid being carried all the time?!
« Reply #7 on: Yesterday at 19:54:04 »
Please pop over to the BF board before you make any decision about moving to formula.
I was only able to BF for about 4 wks or so and was heart broken when I stopped. I really wish I knew about these forums back then because now I know there are so many tips and so much support for various issues.  I'm not great with BF advice due to my very limited experience, I just think it is something to take advice and support on before deciding.
With regards the reflux, LO might need a milk thickener in addition to the meds. I used a carobel in the milk but I know from reading the pack it could be mixed with some expressed breast milk or a little water and given via a syringe (the way you give meds) in 3 doses per feed one just before feeding one mid feed and one at the end, it just helps keep the milk down in addition to the meds helping reduce the acid. Maybe ask you GP about this type of thing?