Wailing and rooting after his “activity” time

[ParksDad]

First off, he’s 4 weeks old, which, based on the threads here seems young to get this down pat. But … we thought we’d start getting an idea of how he’d build a routine.

He falls asleep when breastfeeding fairly often. I’ve taken to changing his diaper after eating to make his nap more comfortable. That always wakes him up, but to an alert/curious stage with lots of eye contact and looking around.

It devolves quickly to wailing, with full rooting behavior. Sometimes I can settle him down (breaks my heart, feels like he’s just giving up), but mostly he feeds another 5 minutes and passes out.

So, my questions:

1. Am I simply expecting too much?
2. Is he using the second breastfeed as a sleep prop?

Thank you for your thoughts!

[*Ali*]

No at this age if he's  rooting you must feed. They feed so often at this stage.

[creations]

Hello and Welcome to BW forums

I started the EASY routine when my DS was 4-5 weeks too.
At this age you need to go gently.  Feed when needed.  Mine was feeding every 2hrs or 2.5hrs and I just gradually brought it to 3hrs over a period of time.  I wouldn't try to settle a hungry baby.
If LO is very sleepy or even asleep after a feed you can still start some very gentle sleep training by putting him down for his nap rather than holding all the way through.  I started trying to put mine down for sleep from day 1 really (but the EASY routine at more like 4-5 wks) and had times he just wouldn't sleep unless he was on one of us so sometimes he slept on our knee whilst we sat on the sofa (rather than in arms, it was more hands off but still feeling our comfort) and sometimes I set up a pillow right next to me on the sofa so I still sat with him the whole nap but put him down beside rather than in arms.  They are small steps towards being confident to sleep alone and if he squirmed or started to wake I could put a hand back on to comfort more and remove when he settled again.
I also remember at times setting up a blanket on the floor and laying down there with him, this way I was able to get up and have a stretch for a few mins when he slept.  I found that easier than getting him into the cot/travel cot in the very early days although it's not necessarily possible for all families - we have no pets or other kids roaming around.
He slept more in the travel cot in the family room between approx 5-10 wks but at 10wks stopped settling there and I moved naps to his night bed up stairs where he slept better.
I was glad I started early and it worked for me and my family - but it does take a lot of time and effort.