9mo waking every hour at night

[Pumka]

Hello everybody! First of all I want to thank you for giving your advice to all of us having all these different problems with kids sleep.
I feel so much safer realizing that there is a place where I can find help and understanding when I feel that I'm in a deadlock.

I badly need your help to make a plan how to start sleeping separately with my son (8,5mo). We've always slept together, not to wake up the older sister (who is 2,5yo now), and I breastfed him all the night -- every time he woke up, I just fed him not actually waking up myself.
Now that he's 9mo, his older sister is much more stable with her sleep (she's on EASY since 3 weeks, always slept separately throughout the night), I want to teach him sleep by himself.

During the day he sleeps very well. 2 times a day for 1,5 hours, he eats a lot of solid food and formula during the day, his activity time lasts 4+ hours.
Typical day looks like this:
8am wake up
9am eat
12pm 1st nap
13.30 wake up and eat
17.30-18.00 2nd nap
18.30 eat
21.45 eat
22.00 going to bed

I still swaddle him, he immediately falls asleep by himself when I swaddle him and give him a pacifier. During the naps he sometimes wakes up in 45 minutes, but normally gets back to sleep with a pacifier or without it.
In the evening I swaddle him too, give a pacifier, and then he wakes up in 45 minutes or 1,5 hours and starts crying. I try put up put down method, but it doesn't help quickly, so I need to calm him for some time, then if I give him water -- he gets calmer and normally falls asleep with a pacifier after that. Next time he'll wake up in 45 minutes or an hour, and by that time I'm normally too tired to try anything and just take him to my bed where he immediately falls asleep, but still wakes up every 1-2 hours during the night. By morning time it might be enough just to lay him on the other side so that he falls back asleep (he doesn't need my breast then).

My understanding is that he is used to sleeping with me, drinking milk (not because he's hungry or thirsty) just because he's always done so at night. I want to try not to take him to my bed throughout the night, and I'm not quite sure how to better start with it.
Do you think it would be better to offer him formula or water if I cannot calm him down without them? Also, I don't understand what would eventually make him sleep longer than 1,5 hours -- how do I make him not used to me settling him down all night long?
With the older daughter -- she started sleeping 4-5 hours since the very beginning, so I haven't faced such a problem with her...

So I need your help and support to make a proper plan not to give up in the middle of the way, and your estimate on how long this might take me to get rid of these wakings. Would be very grateful for your help!

Olga

[Pumka]

Hello! Hope you will reply soon. In the meantime Ilya sleeps in his bed for 5 nights already.
He wakes up 4-6 times during the night. Sometimes he just takes a pacifier and falls back asleep, sometimes it takes me an hour of settling him with pu/pd and rocking. During this hour he falls asleep and wakes up every 10 minutes. Normally it’s no more than 2 such hours in the night and they occur after 2am.

I give him a little bit of water if he cries a lot. I don’t nurse or feed him with formula though — he eats very well during the day. And I stopped swaddling him, looks like he doesn’t need it anymore. Now he sleeps in a sleeping back, falls asleep very fast as earlier, can turn around and sleep on his tummy if he wants, so that’s a great change. Nothing changed in the day routine. Night sleep begins around 10pm, and he wakes up around 8-8.30am.

So the main question is what exactly should change this pattern? Why would he eventually stop waking up that often? Can he get used to me settling him down and just continue waking up the same way?

[becj86]

Hi, sorry your post has not had a reply already! Lets see if we can get this little chap sleeping a bit better

17.30-18.00 2nd nap18.30 eat21.45 eat22.00 going to bed

Is this nap time correct? Its only 30mins, which is fine if he was going to bed at 2000 or 2030 but he will be overtired doing 4hr awake after 30min nap. I think at this age, expecting 2x1.hr naps is probably unrealistic as one nap will start to shorten.

I think probably just recognising that he's slept with you beside him for nearly 9 months, you will be teaching him how to sleep without you from scratch, just as if he was a newborn but with habits already formed, so it will take longer. If you resettle the same way you're settling him to sleep each time, wakings should reduce in number and length of time over the next couple of weeks.

[Pumka]

Thanks for your reply! So normally 1st nap is 1,5-2 hours, and the second one is 1 hour. He doesn’t look tired after these naps, I would say that he could be awake for even longer. He never sleeps less than 45 minutes anyway.

Also, I think that he gets used to drinking water at night now. I give it to him 2-3 times a night when he cannot fall asleep for a long time and or cries (more than 5-10mins). Do you think it’s better not to give him water? Is it ok to rock the bed? That’s the only way for me not to stand up at least when he wakes up every hour...

[becj86]

Do you think it’s better not to give him water?

If its only a little and its allowing him to settle, its probably ok short term, particularly if its hot or dry. Water can be dangerous if LO is not yet on solids as too much can result in electrolyte imbalances but a little in your 9mo who is on solids and taking plenty of milk should be ok.

Is it ok to rock the bed?

If you don't mind doing it. If you have to keep rocking the bed, is it any better than feeding all through the night? Is it something you'll want to stop? If so, maybe don't start but if its something you can remove gradually, it should be ok.

Is he waking any less frequently as the days go by?

[Pumka]

Yes, today he woke up only 3 times: at 2, 4 and 6. I fed him at 2 (just sitting near his bed, not taking him to lie with me), because he didn't want to take a pacifier, and I realized he wanted to eat or drink, and he eagerly ate one breast, although I don't have much milk there anymore, and became relaxed, after that I gave him a pacifier, put him to his bed and he fell asleep immediately.
At 4 I just gave him a pacifier again and rocked for a minute, he fell asleep.
At 6 I fed him a little again, gave him a pacifier and rocked the bed, he woke up a couple of times after that, I continued giving the pacifier and rocking the bed, and he completely fell asleep around 6.30.

I treat this all as a big success) Especially the fact that he sleeps so well without swaddling!

[becj86]

That's great, I think you're making good progress and if you stick with it, the NWs should reduce further.