21 weeks - Feeds now in the way of naps

[Tabyria]

Hi there, quick question please.

My DD is 21 weeks and growing well (plenty of nappies, following 91st percentile beautifully, generally happy) so I'm not worried. She's EBF and feeding is also going very well (no pain etc) so nothing to complain about. BUT feedings sessions have become a real pain over the last couple of weeks.

It started as usual as distracted 4months old (does it ever stop?) with feeds getting shorter because she wouldn't focus.
She's also started waking up earlier in the morning over the last month (6.30-7.30am instead of 9.15am two months ago), which means that she's not hungry when she wakes up if she's fed after 5am in the night (she only wakes once or twice a night. She resettles by herself if not hungry but if she wakes around 5am, which she does a few times a week, it's usually after at least 4/5h of sleep and she's properly hungry).

I've stopped offering the breast regularly after these morning refusals as it just resulted in snacks throughout the day just to 'top her up'. But very often now it clashes with naps. I try to feed at least 30min before the nap but she often refuses. I've tried dark room/no noise to no avail. She just becomes annoyed. Admittedly I didn't do any 'wind down'...maybe I should? But then it's a long time in dark rooms if you add feed+naps wind downs...

So three annoying scenarios as a result:
*This morning: feed at 5am (2nd feed of the night), woke up at 7.30 (not hungry), ate for 2min at 8.45 and refused top-up before nap. Nap 10.00. Woke up at 10.35 and wouldn't resettle. Hungry, ate for 8min. Really awake afterwards so got her up.
* Two days ago: feed at 4.40am (first feed of the night), woke up at 8am (not hungry), refused to eat all morning. Nap at 9.30. Woke up at 10.05 starving, ate for 15min and went straight back to sleep for 50min.
* Yesterday: fed at 5.30am (2nd feed of the night), woke up at 7.00 (not hungry). Refused to eat all morning but cried for food when put down for nap. Fell asleep at the breast at 9.38 and slept for 1h30.

This can happen a couple of times a day, when she only want to eat once she's tired and in bed. She's never fed to sleep but it's starting to happen now more often as a result and I'm worried that will create a bad habit.

She's only just last week started taking longer naps in the morning and it's so frustrating to see feeds getting in the way. I feel the 5am feed is the culprit, and it's also annoying as she takes a while to self-settle and usually only sleeps 45min to 1h after that. I wish she could just stretch it to her wake up time. Does it mean her wake-up time is wrong? Or should I try to reduce the amount of food given at 5am (hard to do at the breast)??

Thanks for your advice!

[*Ali*]

Sorry for the delay in answering.

Yes it's common for night feeds to take over a bit due to distraction at this age.  It's often just a phase which will pass without intervention. I'd keep offering and she'll accept when she's hungry.

[Tabyria]

Thanks. It's not so much night feeds (we're still on one or two feeds max) that she refuses to feed during the day except when she's about the go down for her nap. Then she falls asleep at the breast, a problem we had never had before. She's still able to fall asleep independently but I'm worried that will create bad habits. And I don't think her feeds are as good as they could be as she slows down and falls asleep.

It's been a month. It stopped for ten days when she went back to eating every two hors and now that new trend is bank with a vengeance. If I offer food at any other point that when she goes down for her nap she arches her back and screams.

With a feed at 3am she's also not hungry when she wakes up at 6am so first feed is accepted when she goes down for her 8.30 nap and everything goes downhill schedule wise from there

[*Ali*]

All you can do is offer and she'll eat when she's hungry. Things change pretty frequently at this age.

[Tabyria]

Ok! Glad it's considered normal and that there's nothing to do about it  Happy to wait it out. Thanks for the reassurance!