3yr old waking through the night for reassurance since arrival of baby.

[Mummy81]

Can anyone help? My now 3yr old is waking up 4-5 times in the night for no other reason that he wants to see me. He will make an excuse about needing water (which he can reach himself) or losing his blankie as a reason for calling me into his room. Sometimes he’s honest and says he just wants a huggle. We never had a problem with night wakings before the arrival of his baby sister and he was always been an independent sleeper. I know that this night waking us due to anxiety about his new sister arriving, and I am trying to ensure that myself and my husband spend quality time with him to ease this but it doesn’t seem to be improving and I am exhausted and at the end of my tether.

To make matters worse his behaviour has taken a turn for the worse as he is so tired himself and I am struggling with being patient with him. I know it sounds awlful but some days it’s all too much and I am starting to think we shouldn’t have had another baby, as I had such an amazing relationship with him before the baby arrived. I feel like a terrible mother as I feel I am stretched so thin I’m not spending any quality time with my new baby. My 3 yr old does go to nursery 1.5 days per week, but I normally end up running errands and doing chores on these days as I can’t get anything fk r the rest of the week.

I feel that if I could get him to sleep through the night we would all feel a lot better and I’d be better able to cope with the challenges of 3yr old and a 9wk old. 

Does anyone have any advice?

[Haribo2012]

Hey, congratulations on your new arrival.

It’s hard with 2 I know and one thing I can say is it does get easier but it’s quite exhausting in the mean time. Your 3 year olds world has just completely been blown apart, everything he knew has changed and the people he had full attention from are now busy and trying to divide themselves in half.
I found that my eldest used to come in to see if he could sleep with us as the baby was in our room he felt left out, for a while we used to go get in his bed for a couple of hours (he had a double bed) just so he could cuddle up and we all got some sleep.

The only thing I really made sure of was that we had lots of quality time when I took him out and left the baby at home with Dad so it made him feel special, I also got him to help me lots with his little brother so he felt included.

For a rest you could put a nice film on he likes and get him to cuddle up with you and the baby when you have them both?

Not much to add just to say it goes so fast with 2 I’m sure he will settle soon x

[Mummy81]

Thanks Zoe. I will try and do some mummy and DS things soon. On the days that he isn’t at nursery, we do activities that are aimed at him like music and rhyme classes, walks in the park, trips to the beach and things, but I suppose his little sister is always there.

Hopefully things will get better soon.

[*Ali*]

I found letting my 3yo come in with us when she asked helped her see i was still there for her after her sister was born 5 months ago. She only does it 1-2 a month now

[Haribo2012]

My eldest even now 2 years after his little bro was born will say can we go have mummy time without DS2 and things have been settled for ages.

It’s just a big shock to all 3 becoming a family of 4!

Plus there is still developmental stuff going on x

[Mummy81]

Yeah I know. My eldest is such an clever boy with very advanced  language skills and he is a tall boy so I think I’m sometimes guilty of expecting more from him than most 3yr olds cos he seems so much older. He still isn’t potty trained yet as he hasn’t been ready, and I had hoped that he would be ready by now, but I’m not even going to consider starting now as he just has too much going on.

[Haribo2012]

No maybe give yourself a bit of breathing space first x