9 month NW and EMW

[megan.allysa]

Hi there I am having some trouble with NW/ EMW. We had been doing great and over the last couple of weeks things seem to be going down hill.

We have an A time of 3.5 hours and given the chance on a normal nap she will sleep 1:15-1:30 occasionally she can get 2 hours but those are rare.

Our night wakings are all over the board. She can wake @ 1 or some days she makes it until 3. She will nurse and then drift back off. I put her down she rolls over and is out. As far as I can see from my notes there is no consistent time for the first wake up, our big problem lies with the second wake. If she eats closer to 1 or 2 she is up some time around 5. This wake up I refuse to nurse for, because then she wont eat her first meal of the day @ 6. So DH goes in and it can take thirty min to an hour to get her settled back in.

She is usually much more alert with wake and takes a lot more work to settle. Some times she'll fall asleep right way in arm but if you put her down she wakes. If we do manage to get her back down in her bed it is rarely for more than 20 mins and then she is up again. its just by that time its like 6 and we just get her up

our current schedule is this

6/6:30 wake and nurse
A - play time
9/9:30 - about three hours after wake up
9:30/10 Nap
11:15 wake and nurse (we have to go to work, so I often have to wake her from this nap after only 1:15)
Drive to work @ 11:30
12:15 lunch of solids
A - play time
2:15 nurse
2:45- 3:45/up to 4:15 nap
Drive home @ 5
5:30 nurse
Dinner of solids @ 6:30
7:45 Bedtime
8:00 asleep
10:15/10:30 she wither wakes for a feed or I dream feed
anytime between 1:30 and 3:30 wake to eat
4:30/5 wake

I need some ideas. Her dad handles the EMW well but is starting to turn in a zombie!

p.s. sorry for the novel. You should see the notes I omitted...lol

[becj86]

Hi

This might be a good time to drop the DF. That way the first feed may well become that bit earlier (when she stops waking ~10:30 for a feed anyway (I would probably try to resettle that if you're still up) and a second feed shouldn't interfere with her WU feed in the morning.

Would there be a massive drama shifting her day a touch earlier by getting her up at 5am when she wakes, feeding her and starting the day? Then she could get a full first nap before you go to work and you could aim for a 6:30/7pm BT which may give you more of an evening with your husband.

Is she having a solid breakfast meal as well as milk? If not, you could just feed at 5am and just do solids with milk as a drink at 6/6:30 when she starts her day. You could throw in a small snack before the first nap if necessary.

It might also be time to increase the first A time a touch if she's happy and difficult to resettle off to sleep at the EMW.

[megan.allysa]

Hi there sorry I haven't gotten back to you for a while! her schedule has been all over the map and I have been trying to get a better idea of it before I responded...lol

We will definitely start to drop the dream feed. We were able to cold turkey it for a couple nights, but last night teething woke her up at 11 and she refused to resettle. Should I continue to cold turkey quit or try moving the time up at this point?

There wouldn't be a massive drama for her. Just for us really. I don't know that I want her to think that 5 AM is an okay time to wake up. That seems like accidental parenting, just creating a problem for the future...

Summer break has started so we will be driving to work at 7:45 now, so her morning nap can be an uninterrupted two whole hours if she wants!

We are doing baby led weaning so most of her meals are quite small at this point. We are working in a real breakfast this week. She has to nurse within the hour before eating, so my plan was to nurse on wake and then have her dad handle breakfast while I get ready for work. 

Her first A time is about 4 hours as of now, at least for the first one. As the day goes they shrink to 3:45 and 3:30. Should I try extending it again?

Often her big nap of the day is her AM one. I have read that many 9mos have a big nap and a cat nap. How much of a cat nap should we be aiming for? an hour? just 45 mins? I usually have to wake her up from this nap so that she has a long enough A time before bed.

[becj86]

Should I continue to cold turkey quit or try moving the time up at this point?

I would just keep going without it. If she's teething and you're using the bf for comfort though, don't withhold that just because you're dropping the DF.

I don't know that I want her to think that 5 AM is an okay time to wake up. That seems like accidental parenting, just creating a problem for the future...

That's fair enough. I'm a morning person and get up then anyway, so it doesn't worry me that my son wakes at 5am but it just doesn't fit in some peoples' lives and that's fine too - just offering an option to think about.

Is she having a solid breakfast meal as well as milk? If not, you could just feed at 5am and just do solids with milk as a drink at 6/6:30 when she starts her day. You could throw in a small snack before the first nap if necessary.

I meant this as in you'd feed at 5am then put her back into bed and then just start the day with solids rather than BF.

I have read that many 9mos have a big nap and a cat nap. How much of a cat nap should we be aiming for? an hour? just 45 mins? I usually have to wake her up from this nap so that she has a long enough A time before bed.

This nap will just naturally shrink to keep the day at a reasonable length (no greater than 14hr, ideally 13.5 max.) as A times increase. There's such a huge variation in normal at this age, there's not even a one size fits all starting point. I think if what you're doing is working alright, just stick with it.