Author Topic: i need help with our routine  (Read 1793 times)

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Offline Ademirok

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i need help with our routine
« on: May 24, 2018, 13:20:57 pm »
Hi,

I have read the bw book when DD was 3 weeks old but i had de Quervain's syndrome which gave me a lot of pain with my wrist and thumb so I couldn't s/p effectively. Instead we have been on an easy routine but i used to just swing her in her crib a little bit. Now my wrist is a lot better and I think I can help her achieve independent sleep.
DD is 16 weeks old. Her naps are never longer than 40-45 minutes so our supposed routine was always less than 3 hours. Now our wd is not working she gets irritated the minute we start the wd. She gets fussy in my arms and even if I try to settle her in her crib. She doesn't want to be rocked in the swing either. She fights for a while than falls asleep on my shoulder after which I place her in the crib. Today I tried changing the lulluby which seemed to relax her a little bit. Am I supposed to pat her on the back as she is crying? Also, she didn't used to wake up at night before but now she wakes up at different times at night. I used to dreamfeed at 11 pm and 3 am. Last night for example she woke up at 1.30 am and 4 am. Do I s/p when she wakes up at night? And she has been waking up at 5 am instead of 6 am. She seems to be waking up earlier and earlier. I am sorry if I asked too many questions at once. I'd really appreciate your opions. Thank you in advance.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2018, 13:22:36 pm by Ademirok »

Offline creations

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Re: i need help with our routine
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2018, 08:44:49 am »
Hi there and welcome to BW forums :)

Short naps are common at 4 months so you are not alone in this unsettled routine of 45 min naps.  My own DS was sleeping independently before the 4 months regression hit and we also ended up is 40 min naps 4 or 5 of them each day - it's exhausting.

One of the common problems is that the A time has not been increased rapidly enough. A times increase quite significantly and quickly at 4 months (and to 6 months) and if you miss the window it can feel like LO is forever OT having short naps but what is usually needed is a longer A time because LO is UT (under tired).
The irritation she is showing when you start the WD sounds to me like she is trying to tell you she is not yet ready for her nap.

Guidance A time is 1hr 45 to 2hrs at 4 months.  You don't say how long your current A time is but I'm guessing you might be too short or reducing it to try to make up for the lost nap and in an attempt to avoid OT.
If you current A time is significantly shorter than this guidance time then I suggest you increase in steps over a number of days rather than one big jump in length.  You can increase by 10-15 min each day until you get to a suitable time.

If she continues to be irritable with the longer A time you can either stick it out in her room until she goes down (stay with her, shush/pat as needed, pick up as needed) or you can say "ok looks like you are not ready yet" take her out and try again 10 min later.

You can also try a W2S (wake to sleep) at the 40/45 min mark, here is a link, please see naps option 1 where you begin patting before the usual time she wakes.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=223809.0
This can help to sleep train as it teaches LO to nap longer. During the 4 month regression though sometimes they do just have short naps as part of the developmental phase, if you can W2S to help extend the nap you will avoid OT. If though it becomes too much for you then you can choose to do it just once per day for example or whatever you can manage.  Some people decide to just accept the short naps during this phase as they can't cope with sitting in a dark room patting all day and wait for the phase to pass which is around 6 months.

if you record your EASY times you can post them here with an update if you like?
We use a format like something like this:
WU 7
E 7
A 2hr
S 9 - 10.30
E 10.30
A 2hr
and so on... include:
BT ( bed time)
DF (dream feed) or NF (night feed)
NW (night waking not for hunger)
and through to the next WU
Include any brief notes about what you did to resettle (eg W2S or shush/pat etc) and LOs mood (fussing, resisting, crying hard, waking happy etc)

I used to dreamfeed at 11 pm and 3 am. Last night for example she woke up at 1.30 am and 4 am. Do I s/p when she wakes up at night?
sorry I'm not sure here if these are additional NWs. did she get her feed at 11pm and 3am or have you stopped the 11pm dream feed??
If she needs feeding just go ahead without trying to resettle. If she's been fed then yes you can use shush/pat or pick up if needed to calm her and help her back to sleep.

And she has been waking up at 5 am instead of 6 am.
Not sure where in the world you are, I know lots of us in the UK are getting brighter mornings as Spring is here and this can have a big impact on WU time. Thorough black out can help.  My own DS has 3 layers of blinds and blackout in his bedroom so that he doesn't wake early.  early waking is not always routine based.

hope this is of some help.


Offline Mimiandmommy

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Re: i need help with our routine
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2018, 07:55:20 am »
The time dd wakes up is between 5:00 to 6:00. She is exclusively bf
E: 6:00
A: 6:10 to 7:40
S: 7:50- 8:30 or 8:35
A:8:35 to 9:00
E:9:00-9:10
A:9:10 to 10:30
S:10:40

The day goes on like this...
She gets fussy when I try to settle her. I rocked her up until this week. Starting this week I only s/p buy her reaction to the nap and bed time ritual is the same. She starts fussing because she knows she will sleep after it.   

When I place her in the crib she doesn't cry at first starts fussing 10 - 15 minutes later. She starts crying if I try to pat her so I have to do pu/pd. She whines if I leave her alone. She generally wakes up happy I don’t even realize she is up if I don’t check on her. She just plays in her Crib.
Bed time is the hardest I think it's because she is overtired from the short naps. She sleeps in 40 minutes. She is usually screaming with her eyes closed just before she falls asleep and I'm unsure if patred her to sleep or not.

Before starting s/p she woke up at different times at night and I didn't know when to do them. After starting shush pat she sleeps until 4:30 and wakes up for the day. I feed her and settle her again because she doesn't feed to sleep. By the time she is settled it's 5:30 and I wake her up at 7:00

Am I supposed to leave the room if she is not crying? I mean should she be aware I am there?

Offline creations

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Re: i need help with our routine
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2018, 18:23:00 pm »
Hi there :)

Looks like your A times are fine for her age.  The short napping can be purely developmental which means that even with a sleep trained baby they can still go through this phase of short napping at 4 months old.  The phase generally passes at 6 months.
What you can do to try to extend the nap is use the W2S (wake to sleep) link I gave above, not sure if you have tried that yet.  It's a useful tool.
Otherwise you have two options:
1. stay in her room and continue to try to resettle her for 40 mins until the end of nap time.  This can be very hard work and involve lots of fussing or crying if LO isn't tired but on the flip side it teaches that it is nap time.
or
2. accept that the 40 min naps are a phase and just get on with your day without trying to resettle.

If she is hungry at the 3hr mark it is fine to feed, if not though she may be ready to go a little longer between E.  Lots of babies move from 3hr E to 4hr E at 4 months.  It doesn't need to be linked to what time she slept you just try to avoid feeding to sleep that's all.

If she is not crying you can certainly leave the room, return again when she calls or cries for you.