10 month EASY needs adjusting...

[megan.allysa]

Hey mamas, we are in need of an adjusted EASY schedule, but I am scared to mess with it! We fought so long and hard to get naps to where they are that I don't want to mess it all up!

Our two biggest problems are: the 5 AM EMW and fitting in two naps on days that she does manage to get back to sleep...I think we may be on the cusp of the 2-1 and I just want some advice on the best way to tweak her schedule...

currently, this is what we are doing:

she has an A time of 4 hours, though honestly, I think she could go longer no problem. She nurses quite regularly, as we are doing BLW and has to nurse before she eats any solids.

NW@ 4:30/5 - would REALLY like to get rid of this *note below
up @ 6:30 and nurse
breakfast @ 7
nurse @ 9:30
nap @ 10:30-12/12:30 some days she's up at 1 1/2 others I have to go in and get her up at the 2-hour mark
nurse upon waking
lunch @ 12:30
nurse @ 3:30
nap @ 4/4:30 - this nap is tricky for us, she comes to work with me and we are commuting @ 5
nurse @ 5:30
Dinner @ 6
Bed @ 8:30/9
NW around midnight/1 and sometimes around 3

*note - I don't mind getting up to feed her at this but she is nearly impossible to get back down after this wake. She will sleep quite happily in arm but the second you go to put her down she snaps right awake again. If we do manage to get her back down she often sleeps until 7 then and that's a whole other can of worms on our schedule.

Also, this is an optimistic schedule. there are many days she is up at 6 and then some days that I have to wake her at 7...It would be nice if we could get consistent but the 5 AM wake is messing with mornings a bit.

Any advice on how to alter her schedule or nix that EMW would be GREATLY appreciated! Thanks!!

 

[creations]

Hi there

A couple of questions:
- how long is that second nap usually?
- can you expand on the tricky nap 2 please, is it that she must be awake by 5pm or would it be possible for her to sleep at 5pm in a car seat or sling etc during travel? Or is it that she doesn't really want to go to sleep at 4pm?
- Are you feeding at BT and at those NWs at 12/1 and 3?

[megan.allysa]

The second nap is 45-1 hour usually but I have let her sleep past 5 to get to that length. Which ends up pushing bedtime later than I would like.

It is tricky based on 4 hours of A times. If I stick to the 4 hours she is ready for her next nap at 4:30. It would be possible for her to sleep on the drive home, but in that scenario, she is sleeping after 5 pm thus pushing bedtime later. the 4 pm nap is the harder nap to put down for that is for sure.

Yes, we nurse at most all NW so long as it has been more than 3 hours from the last nursing.

[creations]

The chances are that she is not yet ready to just drop to one nap but based on the information you've given she might not be far off really.  Sometimes when LOs show signs of needing a routine change towards the 2-1 nap drop they go pretty quickly on it, like a month especially if they can already handle longer A times.  For others a 2 nap routine can last a while longer before the final drop to one nap.

Her night is very short if she doesn't resettle at that 4.30/5am NW, only 8 hrs, I wonder if there is possibly some OT adding to that early wake up but also that the first nap needs to come later to encourage her to WU later in the morning.
I think I'd probably aim to move the first nap later, reduce nap 2 (and possibly have it later during the drive - how long is the journey? 30min?) but aim to keep BT where it is or earlier - not later.
Something like:
WU 6.30 (is this the time you need her up to get to work?)
A 4.5hr (don't move in one big jump, 15 min for a few days then 15 min)
S 11.00 - 1.00
A 4hr
S 5-5.30 during the drive home
A 3hr (assuming shorter A time will be accepted based on shorter CN)
BT 8.30
This is still only a 10hr night which to be honest is shorter than I'd usually suggest.  Does she tend to refuse BT on a shorter A time?

Then looking ahead you could shift the first nap later to retain it as the long nap but more central in the day.  This would eventually mean she could refuse the CN in the car so you'd go instead for EBT.  Something like:
WU 6.30/7
A 5hr/5.5hr
S 11.30 - 1.30 (or longer, you said sometimes you have to wake her at 2hr) or 12.00 - 2.00
A 4.5 - 5hr
S 6pm/6.30pm/7pm
allowing a longer night

I see you have dinner at 6pm. When she drops to 1 nap you might need to change the whole routine, maybe nurser before the drive home, dinner as soon as you get in (something prepared in advance for her) then straight to bed. Or give her a really big afternoon snack like an early dinner and just nurse when you get home before BT.

What do you think?  They are just ideas really as only you know how your LO responds to nap time, BT, longer A times etc and how you need things to fit in with work and travel.  It's possible she might not be able to last to have dinner with the family for a while. I know when mine was on one nap we had dinner at 4pm/4.30pm but I was able to do that so it was early enough for him but still a family meal (and have a snack in the evening myself after his BT). 

[megan.allysa]

I thought she seemed young to transition. I just am struggling to fit 2 naps in and get to bed early enough!

Her night is very short if she doesn't resettle at that 4.30/5am NW, only 8 hrs, I wonder if there is possibly some OT adding to that early wake up but also that the first nap needs to come later to encourage her to WU later in the morning.

When she does that EMW she will happily sleep in arm, so I don't count that as her wake time.  For example last night she went 8:30-6:30 with two wake ups. One at 12:30 that took me 30 to get her back down and then up at 4:45 she ate and then dad took over and it took him an hour to get back to bed. So 5-6 she was sleeping just not on her own..

If she is over tired but wants at least 4 hours if A time...how do I get her to get more sleep?!? There just aren't enough hours in the day! Lol
Our drive is 20 mins. If she falls asleep right away we will get that but more than likely she would only get 15 mins. This nap would be @ 5 and the earliest, often closer to 5:15. Isn't that too late for a catnap. That keeps betime @ 8:30 at the earliest...based on a 3 hour A time.

Yes 6:30 is the best time to get her up so that we have time for breakfast and to get ready and commute and be to work by 8. I also struggle to fit 2 naps in if she sleeps too much later.

If we try and put her down for bed with too short of an A time she struggles a lot more. We are classic accidental parenting here. She is not sleep trained. Until as of late getting her to sleep was never really a problem, especially once a schedule change fixed our naptimes. We just never committed to it, and now it's not the right time. We have a lot of family vacations coming up...

Should I be letting her sleep longer than the 2 hours for her big nap?

Honestly feeling a little overwhelmed and confused about it all. She is a happy girl, handles long A times wonderfully, functions on less sleep rather well, naps pretty good now. We managed to get daytime sleep "fixed" back in April and now nighttime sleep is falling apart and I am just a little lost.

[creations]

At the moment nap 2 is around 45-60 min.  cutting this to 30 can increase night length by an hour.  A smallish reduction in day sleep can result in a shorter A time being accepted, a longer night.  It doesn't always show in one day but over time.  Based on what you've said about your travel I am guessing the second nap would be reduced to more like 15 mins which is quite a big cut all in one go and could cause some OT - I can't give you any guarantees of course but i would imagine she'd accept a shorter A time before BT if her nap was reduced this much.  Yes BT might still be 8.30pm but your fear was it moving later and later, this is same or a little earlier.  It might sound crazy but she could be begging for BT at 7 if the CN is reduced significantly (due to the travel arrangements).
I wouldn't worry about a nap coming after 5pm personally.

AT this point, with the CN still in place and you're concern about fitting everything into the day I would probably not let her sleep much past 2hrs for her long nap.  But if you cap the CN then you could allow longer for the first nap, and certainly when you drop the CN and move to just one 1 nap you can let her sleep as long as possible.  You'd probably also need an earlier BT too.

The NW and needing to sleep in arms could well be habit now, if she isn't sleep trained and this is reinforced every night then she'd be used to it and come to expect it.  There's a chance of a routine change getting her past it but routine alone can't fix habits.

This is not a set routine, it's in flux at the moment, you only know how she responds when you try and see what happens over a week or so.  Like I said, she might be able to drop to one nap quickly, or she might not.  Some move to 1 nap at 9 months, more later, some keep 2 naps for a long time yet.  Mine started showing signs of the 2-1 at about 9 months rather than 10 months.  He finally dropped to one nap at 11 months which is early but not as early as a really low sleep needs LO.  it can be a tricky time and can feel overwhelming for many of us.  Mine was a fully independent sleeper and had a lovely 2hr nap right until we dropped the CN and then his long nap was destroyed, I got 20 mins out of him before the screaming started. Not fun. But whatever happens it is only a phase and you will all come out the other side of it.