10 week old - waking after 1 cycle and won’t go down to sleep in their bed

[Fran123a]

Hi all.

I am hoping someone may give me some advice and words of encouragement. I have a 10 week old (1 week over due) who has a bedtime of 2am due to her pattern of clusterfeeds early on. My sister steered me towards here as the routine helped her with her lo. Due to colic/reflux symptoms I have also tended to hold baby / place in a sling / take for walks in pram to sleep. Her naps were all over the place following no structure. I would walk and rock her to sleep. At night I feed her to sleep and feed her lying down if she wakes (she sleeps in a side cot). She yawns a lot so could not use this as a sleepin cue

I have now started a bedtime of 9pm-9am and going up with her from that time for her to sleep (for the past 2 days).  I have noticed her A times are approx 1hr 30 so I start to get her ready for a nap 10 mins before by singing the same song to show time to sleep and I am now trying shh pat (bit of rocking to start her off but always trying to end with shh pat over my shoulder. I have been able to put her down shh pat for her first nap twice (others no such luck). When she first goes to sleep I can hear her gulping which seems to make her move uncomfortably- this also wakes her. She is happy to sleep on her side as this is what happens when feeding when she wakes at night  then after a few mins she is ok to roll on her back. With the shh and pat would she stay sleeping  on her side or roll over to her back?  She also hates to be swaddled. .

However led down she only sleeps for 50 mins per nap and 1.5-2 hrs at night - she will sleep for longer if on me or taken out in pram. How can I lengthen the naps? As we are so new to this routine should I let her sleep on me so the pattern of a 9pm sleeptime is set first?  Then move to try settling down and nap extensions or should I do it all now (thinking if she is not sleeping well day or night she will get worse and moody - she is quite a happy girl). I also don’t know if her sleep from 9pm would be a 45 min nap or 1.5hr night nap as I have only had her on me so she is use to sleeping all night and that this is night time. She has been waking up naturally at 9am.

I am also currently not able to fall sleep (even when she sleeps not on me or she has been taken for a walk and the house is empty etc.) it is driving me mad and making me overtired and teary - if anyone can help with this too that would be great  My partner says I need to stop worrying about our lo and relax but it’s so hard when you have 0 sleep and think your not doing things right

Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance

[Katet]

Hugs, it's hard when they are poor sleepers

think your not doing things right

Please there is no "right" or "wrong" - loving your baby is always right.

Some babies struggle to sleep longer times & at 2/3/4mo its' surprisingly common to get short sleep cycles.

Firstly I'd work on what gives you the most sleep & to a degree try not to worry about your little one & relax.

 If you want 9am to 9pm then make sure that there is only feeds that is "awake" time & the rest of the time is quiet, dark & low key. If your lo is sleeping well on you & you can't try to limit that. I found I got really bad insomnia with my DS1 & so had to learn some relaxation strategies to help. In recent years I've found taking Magnesium supplements helps too... definitely look at sleep vitamins if you are struggling, they really can help.

In terms of what to do first or what is most important, that depends on what you can deal with & what you find will mentally help you the most. For me night sleep was always my most important part & so I'd try that first, esp as at her age short naps are more normal than not.

Also be mindful that there is a growth spurt around 3mo (my youngest also at 41 weeker) hit his around the 10.5 week mark, so  if you are BF then that will add into the mix, so feeding more can help.

[Fran123a]

Thanks for the response. I will look into some relaxation techniques. It’s so tough when I am given the space to rest and I just can’t!! Sorry can I also clarify a few things?

As the naps are short is it best to focus more on the time she is asleep than needing to go through 2 cycles? She would then be on a EASASE ish?

If I could settle her down for her naps and I know she will stay sleeping and not wake up straight away that would give me some freedom to either sleep or just relax.

Do I need to or can I teach her how to have longer naps at this age or is it developmental?

With only feeding her at awake times - as I feed her to sleep atm when she wakes in the night (about 4 times a night) how can I reduce this? She takes her big feed about 12am - any tips on getting her to eat more in the day and at bedtime before I put her down?

Thank you

[Katet]

She would then be on a EASASE ish?

Yes sometimes you will get that.

The night feedings are hard at such a young age & it's not abnormal to have 3 or 4 in a BF baby (although very frustrating) If you don;t always do it, work on getting her to sleep without feeding to sleep at the start of the night and for all day time naps.

In terms of extending naps, it is developmental, but you can work on it. If you try to get her back to sleep after a short nap, but only try for about 20mins.

In terms of settling for naps, with the reflux, have you tried putting her bed at an angle so her head is higher.

 I know with my DS1 I struggled with sleep for him & also my sleep & I know the hardest part is is when you are in that place that you are thinking "it will be easier when..." The thing I learned is it's not always easier "when..." as there is a different something that challenges you. For me it tipped my to the point of PPD, which actually turned out to be a good thing long term as the support I got with that has helped me long term. So if you are finding that it's all too much, reach out for help from your GP if you can. As for me when I sorted myself out I was more relaxed & so was my DS... ie in hindsight, my anxiety made my DS1 unsettled.