Author Topic: Self soothing question  (Read 2383 times)

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Offline Lottie2488

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Self soothing question
« on: January 17, 2019, 13:08:46 pm »
Hello,

I was just wondering if babies eventually learn to self soothe and if so at what age. My DS is currently 4 months old. He is being put into his cot drowsy but awake for naps and Bedtime. Is this enough? He is not able to self soothe yet nd requires some pu/pd from time to time as well as the occasional night feed. He is also unable to transition between sleep cycles easily. Is this due to his age and 4m sleep regression. I'm just wondering if there is anything more I can do.

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Self soothing question
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2019, 13:17:30 pm »
It's completely normal for babies to need help getting to sleep and definitely to need a few night feeds at this age. Pupd can be quite stimulating for young babies. Have you tried shush pat?

Babies this age aren't able to bring themselves down from a state of upset to a soothed state, no. Their brains just aren't developed enough yet. They need a caregiver to help calm them and make they feel safe. If he's falling alseep in the cot already he's doing fab. Babies can definitely learn to go in the cot happy and fall asleep but it takes time and adult help. If a baby is left alone upset, like with the cry it out methods BW is opposed to, they will eventually stop crying and sleep but it is very stressful for baby. Stress hormones aren't good for brain development, or anyone really! They just learn no one is coming and stop crying as a survival instinct.
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Offline Lottie2488

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Re: Self soothing question
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2019, 13:49:40 pm »
Hi Ali,
Thanks for your reply. I have tried the shh/pat but it only seems to calm him when held. Once he's calm I put down but he won't let me do it in his cot and it can sometimes over stimulate him. He's definitely well acclimatised to his cot which is good but he just can't bridge his sleep cycles (which means a lot of pupd in between. I'm hoping with age it'll improve. He's a spirited/grumpy baby so gets very upset when OT. I try to stay on the 3.5/4 hour EASY but because it takes so long to resettle in between sleep cycles I tend to go off routine during the day (I would rather have him well rested due to his nature). Just hope what I'm doing is right and that he'll eventually learn to self soothe

Offline *Ali*

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Re: Self soothing question
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2019, 14:38:39 pm »
It sounds like it's definitely heading in the right direction  🙂
Cadan Dec 2009 and Colby Aug 2011


Offline Gasper

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Re: Self soothing question
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2019, 14:07:37 pm »
Glad to hear we're not the only ones with a grumpy baby. Re-settling in between cycles is an issue our little one is having too. I'd love to hear it if you find out something that works well.

Offline Lottie2488

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Re: Self soothing question
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2019, 15:36:36 pm »
Hi Gasper,

Well today was the first time that we were able to put lo down for a long first nap. I know that according to bw you are meant to wait to see if lo can self settle before rushing in. After trying that for a week ds just seemed to become more aggrivated and not wanting to go back down. I went in at the first signs of stirring, stroked his head with shhh and then picked him up until he was nearly asleep. Placed him down and he went back off by himself again. We also tried to spend 20 minutes wd before his nap. I think this helped but unfortunately he hasn't had a long midday nap (he was in his stroller) which means he maybe ot for the current nap. I know it's tricky with grumpy babies so I think for now we're trying small steps. It's great if you can put lo down drowsy and get them used to sleeping in their cot. I'm hopeful that our ds now associates his dark cave nursery as the place to sleep and now we can work on extending those naps
 Let me know how you get on.