13m old - issues during 2-1 transition

[Nora2kids2]

 I have a 13m old angel type DD2 in the middle of 2-1 transition. During the last couple of weeks it became clear that she prefers the long am- short pm nap combination (both after 4h25m A times)
She usually naps 1h20m-1h40m in the morning and a 30 m catnap in the afternoon.
BUT We have had 2-3 days lately where she slept 2.5hrs for the am nap and I thought that a miracle has happened and we are in the 1 nap world. Yay! Of course, I was wrong. On this long nap days I couldn’t squeeze a catnap into the day but called it an early night.
On the first time I could hardly keep her awake until 4hA in the afternoon. She fell asleep during BF but woke up at 1am for a 1hr long night party (which usually means she was very OT).
2 days later she woke 30mins after goodnight routine (bath, bf) and I have spent 2 hrs in her room trying to make her sleep by shsh-“close your eyes, it is nighttime” mantra-stroking her forehead.
(She dozed off 2 times for 10 and 5 mins) and I hope she will wake only in the morning (I am writing the post on this very day)
So I guess the 1 deliciously long nap is not for us at this stage.

My questions are:-shall I introduce a napcap  for the am nap and stick to 2 naps for a while? Until when?
How will this turn into 1 nap?

Thanks!!!

[Katet]

The transition can go on for weeks or months.
I personally wouldn't shorten the long nap as that's the one you want to be long.
Really how you get to one nap is their ability to have the long enough A time. So for a while it's a juggle of what ever works often (especially if it is summer) a later bedtime can make it all fit in better.

[Nora2kids2]

Would you increase the first A, or the 2nd? At the moment both are around 4h25m. On 2 nap days it is 4h25A, 1h30 S, 4h25A, 30m S, 3h A.
Thank you!!!

[Katet]

Honestly if it was me I'd only change what worked well for the big picture of family life.
In the 2 to 1 it really becomes about 1nap days among 2 nap days rather than where to lengthen A times as to move to 1 nap they need to last 5+ hours so given she likes a short A time before bed, I'd possibly lengthen the first and shorten the second and work towards shortening the cat nap, but then again I was happy about a later bedtime so I never really pushed too hard towards one nap nor did I have exact times more went on my children's mood around about a certain time so I have no idea how it would pan out on such exact times.

[Nora2kids2]

Normally, I wouldn’t have an issue with a late evening (adding a catnap until she is fine with 5+A) but the only rocksolid time I need to consider is 7am when the family wakes up (sister goes to school, daddy to work) and all the noises wake her up no matter when she went to bed. My concern is that she won’t have enough night sleep.
Or I should just let this go as she will catch up with sleep the next day? Maybe I am overatressing...

[Katet]

I do think you are over worrying. At this point total sleep in 24 hours is more the key than length of night sleep. Neither of mine ever slept more than 10or so overnight (both early risers) and both are (based on other people's opinions) very well adjusted teens. This moment is a drop in the ocean in her life, learning to stop sweating the small stuff was the best thing I ever did. Worrying about the small stuff is actually more likely to make your children anxious than it is to have a smooth running house.

[Nora2kids2]

Thank you for the help!! 

She is a happy little girl with 9.5 hrs or 10 hrs nights too, so I need to stop counting the hours

[Katet]

Yes being happy is the most important thing.
A friend who is a psychologist (works with children with disabilities) said to me after she had her son (younger than mine) that she realised we often expend energy on things we might be able to control to prevent ourselves worrying about other things. The reality is a family I know (Pacific Islanders) have 8 children from 15 to 2yo... The 4 youngest sleep/slept where  ever they were... I remember #7 being held over the Mum's shoulder (asleep) while the Mum was timing races at weekly track and field meets.

[Nora2kids2]

  kids accomodate things much better than we may anticipate.
I was freaking out at the Xmas family dinner , having 20 people around and the bedroom only one door away from the dining room. My daughter slept like there was no one in the house

I told DH that we may face longer days. Last night DD2 went to bed after 4h40A (bath, bf) and woke 30 mins later. It took 1 hr to make her sleep again.
So I rather keep the catnap and save us the 1 hr sitting next to the cot.