Help!, 10 mo spirited ds still bf to sleep! What to do??

[Devon's mommy]

Hi! 

At around 6-7 mos we had some success with getting our ds to fall asleep on his own with the help of a little shushing and patting.  That lasted a little while but ever since ds learned to sit up and stand in his crib we've gone back to breastfeeding or rocking to sleep and waking 2 or 3 times in the night.  DS simply refuses to lie down in his crib when he's awake.  If we put him down awake he sits up immediately and tries to stand.  With DH working 12 hour days we haven't had the patience to try and make him go back to falling asleep on his own since it would mean hours of crying while we do PD over and over and over.  I have a real hard time with crying.  When ever I attempt to try and put him to bed awake I always end up picking him up to comfort him and then resort to giving him the boob.

What should I do?  Please give me some advise.  I'm afraid that if I don't stop the bf to sleep I'm just going to have more trouble on my hands later on.  And I would love to start sleeping thru the night once in a while too.   I know I'm doing the ultimate accidental parenting, but I can't bring myself to stop.  It would be very agonizing.

Do you experienced mommies recommend that I stop the bf and start the PD and controlled crying?  I think most people seem to think that I should make him cry it out.

I need support, encouragement, guidance.....a slap in the face?

Has anyone one else out there been through this?

Thanks!!!!

Debbie  :roll:

[isaac'smom]

Hi Debbie,

I completely understand what you're going through. I used to bf my ds to sleep up until he was 4 months old.  I would suggest sticking with the bfing longer (until you're ready to give it up, not because you think he's dependent on it). You can eliminate the sucking to sleep association without taking away breastfeeding. I wouldn't recommend letting him cry it out  - it's not the Baby Whisperer way and it doesn't sound like you feel right about it. Do what feels right for you and your family.

I don't think it's too late to wean your little guy off of the nursing to sleep. It may take longer than it would earlier on, but it is sooo worth it. I can now lay my ds down awake and he falls asleep by himself.....I never thought I would get there, but I did! He's also sleeping through the night! That was something I used to dream about as I was laying in bed nursing him to sleep yet again!  You just have to do it VERY slowly and gently.

I used the Gentle Removal technique where you remove the nipple just before he's sleeping. If he fusses, put it back in and count to 10, 20, whatever. Try to remove it again. Slowly, you can start taking the nipple out earlier and earlier so that he learns to not fall asleep with it in his mouth. I probably haven't explained this very well, so check out this link (it's from the Night Wakings forum)....

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/gentle-removal-plan-vt24669.html

I would definitely reccomend this method! You could check out The No Cry Sleep Solution  by Elizabeth Pantley....that's where this method is from.

You could also try pick up/put down and use the technique that Tracy suggests for older infants. Check out the pu/pd board for info.

I learned that consistency was the key. Whatever you choose to do, you must be consistent for it to work and so that your little guy knows what to expect. If you keep changing the way you react to his wakings it is too confusing for him. Things will get better, I promise!

Good luck and let us know how it goes!