Letting baby settle himself at night

[cwolff]

My dd seems to be getting up more frequently in the night, and I'm not sure it's hunger and not just habit.  What is really hard for me is to hear her fussing, she doesn't cry (at least not yet) so I usually will go in and try to feed her before she fully wakes up.  But now I'm not so sure I should be doing this.  She's going to be 14 weeks on Monday, is she too young to be left to fuss in the crib?  And how long should I let her fuss?  If she's not crying, how can I do pu/pd?

[Deb_in_oz]

it is normal for babies to "fuss" in the night - as they go through sleep cycles, change position a bit, etc.  unless she actually cries out for food i woudl leave her be and let her resettle.  she will let you know when she is actually hungry.

i did the same with dd2 - she woudl take up to an hour of fussing before she would actually wake fully so sometimes i woudl get sick of waiting and just get her up for a feed. i regret that because i look back and think sometimes she really woudl have resettled if i left her.

[cwolff]

I know exactly what you mean about the fussing.  But I don't want her to wake at all in the night if I can help it, so I just don't have much confidence that she will put herself back to sleep.  Now if she doesn't and she starts to cry, should I feed her or should I do pu/pd?  Thanks for the help.

[Gigismom]

i agree with debra.  just let her fuss unless she really needs you.  my lo would sort of move around, make noise, etc.  i would always think that she was going to start crying any minute, so i would always pick her up and feed her before she was truly awake.  but once i just started letting her fuss, she would fuss a few mins, then go right back to sleep.  so she didn't even need to eat.  as long as your lo is not hungry, it is good to break the feeding in the night habit as early as you can.

[Deb_in_oz]

if she is waking at different times in the night and taking a decent feed (not a quick 2 min snack) then feed her.  you really can't "break" the feeding int he night if they are truly hungry.  if she wakes at 5:30 you might be able to stretch her out until 6-6:30 but better to just feed her when she is hungry and she will get rid of the feeds when she is bigger and better able to go longer.  all you can do in my opinion is try to offer her as much milk as she wants during the day and then wait and let her wake fully in the night before you offer food beyond the dream feed.  HTH

PS i know it is a pain to listen to the fussing but that comes down to things you can do to change (no/low monitor, separate room, earplugs, etc) all of which i actually do!! babies fuss and it is all a normal part of their nights - my husband makes just as much noise some nights  :lol:

[Tammy: Ethan & Kaden's Mom]

I would let her fuss.  I know how hard and annoying it is to listen to.  I ALWAYS wake up when ds fusses on the monitor.  But, I did the same as you did for a little while, and would get sick of listening to him, and just get up and feed him.  Until I realized that he wasn't eating too terribly much.  So, one night when dh was out of town, I just let him go, and he finally settled himself back to sleep.  And sure enough, he has cut his "fussing" down quite a bit now, and seems to go back into full sleep a lot quicker.

So, don't rush in unless she starts crying, and then I would go ahead and feed her if she is taking enough that it seems she is hungry.  Otherwise, let her fuss, and I bet she'll surprise you and learn to fall back asleep (eventually  :roll:  )!

[LindseysMom]

Hello, I agree it is best not to rush in, but if this is a new thing then she may be starting her 3 month growth spurt and may actually be hungry.  Like the others said though, she should let you know if she is really hungry or not as her fussing will just esculate into a cry eventually.   Just wanted to mention that they do go through a growth spurt at this age so if you think she is actually hungry feed her by all means.   :wink:

[cwolff]

Thanks for all the advice, it is nice to know that I am not alone in this phenomenon.  What I never realized as a non-parent was how hard it would be to listen to even the slightest whimper from my baby.  I know it is best to let her cry for me, and not anticipate it.  As for the 3 month growth spurt, wouldn't she want to eat more during the day and the night?  She doesn't eat a whole lot at anytime, unless it's been 4-5 hours between feedings and I don't like to do that.  I know she needs to eat every four hours, but she can't stay awake or nap long enough to do the 4 hour easy.  So, hopefully she will grow out of it, and I will turn the monitor on low!