Hates shush-pat & pacifiers...

[suzyviper]

Hi. I am having quite a lot of trouble putting my daughter to sleep (day and night). She will 4 months old next week. I know that it is my fault because I got into the habit of taking her to bed with me at night (her twin sister died after 10 days and after she passed away I felt the need to have my baby close to me all the time), although I do use the "snugglenest", so she has a little bed of her own next to me. About 1 1/2 month ago I started putting her down in her crib for naps and that worked find but lately she has developped an aversion to her crib and screams the minute I put her down. It takes me forever to get her to go to sleep, then she only sleeps 30-45 min. and wakes up crying. I tried the shush-pat method and the patting only enrages her more. She obviously dislikes it very much because tries to wiggle onto her back, kicks and screams even more than when I initially put her down. Any suggestions? The putting a hand on her back does not appease her at all. I thought I should tackle the nap issue before I try to get her to sleep in her crib at night. Am I right to try to deal with this problem a little bit at a time?

I also got into the bad habbit of putting her to sleep by giving her my breast. Your book suggests the pacifier, but my baby iwill not take the pacifier, no matter how much I try. I have bought about 6 different models, and none of them work. What do I do to soother her to go to sleep if she hates the shush-pat, and will not take the pacifier??
Help!

[GG]

You are definitely correct in wanting to change one thing at a time.  You don't want to freak her out.  ;-)  I'm sorry to hear about your other dd.    Your reaction was completely understandable!

At her age, you should be trying PU/PD instead of pat/shh.  She will still react negatively (she will cry, fuss, and wiggle) because you are trying to change her current habits, and this will confuse her.  You shouldn't give up, though.  Keep in mind that you ARE doing this for her benefit, and she needs to learn to sleep well.  Make sure the read through the Sleep Interview to get some idea about how to do this.

You will need to tackle her feeding to sleep first.  You don't need to give her a pacifier.  Let her try to find her own fingers.  If she doesn't, that's fine, too.  (My DS always hated the paci. As for his fingers, he chomps on those all day long but won't try to use them to sleep, so I just let him be.)  You don't need to soothe her in order for her to fall asleep.  By doing PU/PD, you are going to let her learn to soothe herself.

That should take a few days.  Once that's behind you, you can work on extending naps by PU/PD (possibly in conjunction with pat/ssh, if she lets you).

HTH!  Let us know if you have any other questions.