Please, Please Help Me Help My Four-Month Old

[dallinsmommy]

I need so much help . . . I don't know where to start. I used EASY with my guy for the second month of his life; however, he was diagnosed with reflux and I was given advice from the pediatrician that I'm starting to question. Anyways; we're starting all over again.

My son is almost four months (next week) and has just started Prevacid for the reflux. He has been wanting to eat every two hours all day and all night long. My pediatrician says that this is reflux-caused and to continue nursing as much and whenever my son wants. Well, I'm starting to question this: I think my guy is just in snacking mode. He's taking Prevacid and that should be taking away the pain, right? Anyways; I'm trying to get back on track and see if spacing his meals will help with all of the night wakings, etc. Due to the feedings every two hours he's gotten in the habit of falling asleep nursing, waking nursing, and nursing all day long! So, I'm starting over with teaching sleep and encouraging EASY.  Sorry about the long history . . . .

So, my questions. When I initially had him falling asleep on his own he was being swaddled, using a soother, and was quite content. I'm wondering if now at four months I should use the swaddle, or paci? It seems like I'll need to wean him off both eventually so I'm wondering if I should start again? Also, with pu/pd I'm wondering if I should calm him completely before putting him down or let him continue crying when he's put down? I read one thing in the book and another on the boards, just wanted to clarify.

This is my first baby; so I also just wanted to compare four-month-old information as well. How long should he be awake for each cycle? I've watched closely the past two days and the yawns don't come for almost two hours now. When he was two months he couldn't ever handle more than 45 minutes, so this seems like a huge jump. If he's awake for two hours, naps for an hour and a half, that would put his eating every 3 1/2 or 4 hours. Is this average for a four-month-old? I was hoping to get some of this info. from the pediatrician, but he's all for my feeding every two hours all day and all night-, he's all for 'the baby is always right.' Don't get me wrong; if my guy really needs all of that I'll do anything for him, but I'm just really starting to wonder.

Sorry for all of the information and questions; any advice would be so wonderful. I live almost 2000 miles away from my family and don't have much support here. I wish I knew more and could help my guy more; I'm sure trying though. Thank you so much for all of your help my mentors.

[Johno & Aurelias Mum]

Hi

Right, where to start.  First of all, I don't know much about reflux but I thought that feeding too often actually made it worse.  Check the reflux board for that.

Do you have Tracy's book three?  If not, lots of your questions are answered in great detail there so I would recommend it.

To give you short answers, you should be on a four hourly schedule by about 4 months.  Awake time probably not as much as 2 hours but if you are getting 1.5 hour naps, that's fab and if its working, leave it alone.

As far as the PU/PD, at 4 months I would still use swaddling and pat/shh unless that's starting not to work then do PU/PD and at that age, calm them in your arms then PD and pat/shh.

I hope this all helps, if you need any help with anything else, just ask, we're always here.

[Tonya]

I saw your post, so thought I'd jump in!

Ped's do often suggest feeding a refluxer more frequently, with smaller feeds, so that the milk stays in their tummies better.

As for feeding every 2 hours at 4 months old - WHEW!  That sure seems like a lot!!!

My ds was feeding closer to every 4 hours at that age, I believe (kind of hard to remember!).

How has your baby responded to the Prevacid?  Does he still seem to be in pain?  Has sleeping improved at all, or is he not able to sleep better becasue of the eating cycle?

Oh, and I agree with Jenny on the Pat/sshh - PU/PD may be a bit rough on a refluxer!

[jswerczek]

My DS is almost four months and he eats every four hours. He can also stay awake about two hours at the most. A few months ago he was only making it about 45 m. but it seems now if he goes down too early he will not nap for long. I try to keep him awake atleast 1.5-2 hours. Sorry to hear about the reflux, I haven't had to deal with that. My pediatrician also said let the baby do whatever, that he would come up with his own schedule but I disagree. A four month should not need to eat that often and babies need to be led in some sort of direction.

When I put my ds down to sleep he is still swaddled and sometimes takes a pacifier. He does not sleep well with his arms out. Give it a try, it seems to help. Good luck!

[dallinsmommy]

Thanks for your comments and replies. I guess we'll just try lengthening the cycle and see how it goes; it can't really get any worse as far as the night wakings I'm sure.

My son was on Zantac from about 8 weeks until last week. It seemed to help; he used to cry/scream for about four hours every night. We felt so bad for him. The Zantac ended that right away; however, we had to get the prescription increased every couple weeks. The night wakings and screaming after feedings never ended; that's why we started the Prevacid. He just started it yesterday; and last night was just like every other night. Every two hours he was up like clockwork. I'm wondering if the waking has become habitual. Anyways; that's why I decided to start teaching sleep again and lengthening the cycle. Perhaps if he spreads out his eating a little he'll take a full meal and not just snack, helping him get the richer milk? Who knows, it's worth a shot I guess.

Thanks again for all of your help. We'll go back to the pat/shush and try the swaddle and paci again. So far today he's been going about 3 1/2-4 hours eating and it's been fine; he hasn't been crying. So, we'll see how tonight goes. Thanks again for all of your help, and thanks for suggesting the reflux page. I hadn't seen it before. Thanks; you're all so wonderful.

[Mum to Ella Rose]

You've already received such wonderful advice and it seems as though you are on the right track. I'm not sure how long Prevacid takes to become effective but alot of the reflux meds take a few days, some up to two weeks so just keep an eye on it. We also had to feed dd more frequently at times and still do when her reflux is really bothering her. Though once we found the proper pain meds we find she's thrived on BW ways. Just don't feel too badly if you have to make feeding allowances for health. You can implement EASY and just keep an eye on things. When we were having to feed dd more often we just concentrated on all the other aspects of BW-ing. Meaning, no props, feeding to sleep, rocking or any other accidental parenting. There's great support on the reflux board so ask anything anytime! 

Sharon

[dallinsmommy]

One more quick question; I'm sorry-I hope that's okay. I'll try and just do the pat/shush, but when he's screaming, screaming I PU. I'm wondering, should I calm him completely before I PD, or should I just say my same line 'you're okay, you're just going down for a nap and you're tired' and then lay him back down before he calms down? I was unsure about this; I've seen both in other posts. Any clarification? Thanks so much ladies.

Last night he was up every two hours like clockwork again, however, he took a good feed at 10 and didn't eat again until 6 . . . so, it looks like it's either habitual waking or he just can't get himself back to sleep when he wakes on his own? Anyways; the sleep training continues. Thank you again.

[Mum to Ella Rose]

Sorry for the delayed response!  :cry:  But yes, try and calm him completely before laying him down. As soon as he is calm... lay him all the way down even if he starts crying on the way down...just complete the process. And if he has started to cry on the way down, pick him up again once you've had hm down. Does that make sense?

Sharon