New mommy here with questions

[Caleb's_Mommy]

Hi all,

I just discovered this message board, and I'm thrilled to examples of how other people do the EASY routine.

I read Secrets while I was pregnant, and then forgot everything once Caleb was born.  Now he is approaching 4 months, and I really want to work on some of our sleep issues.  I just got Tracy's newest book and have been reading it in bits and pieces as my little guy naps in my lap.

Previously, I was following his cues and using a general EASY routine, however, we never do things at the same time everyday.  I also used many of the techniques from the Happiest Baby on the Block, but he is past that newborn phase now. Joining a few mommy and baby groups really helped me in the beginning, and I hate to give those up, but I want to really start working on some of our sleep issues.  I don't really like the idea of "scheduling" and would prefer to be a bit more flexible so that I can continue with our outings.

We have some sleep issues:
I'm a bit of a prop for him, and usually have to hold him, pat his back and rock him, with paci in his mouth until he falls asleep.  I can then ease him into his crib - but at nap times, he usually wakes up after 45 minutes - so it was easier for me to hold him so that he got his two hour nap.  At night he goes to bed between 8 and 9, and will sleep almost 6 hours, but then is up every two hours after that.  And we get up between 7 and 8 am.  He is not yet able to self sooth and will cry if I leave him in the crib too long waiting for him to go back to sleep.  Also, I have not yet been successful at getting him to go to sleep on his own in the crib.  He usually just wakes up more - and I'm not sure if the shush/pat thing is helping much.

I know I need to fix this, but I'm not sure if I can schedule him and stick it out.

Once you have established good sleep habits, can your EASY routine be more flexible?

Sorry for the long post.  I just feel conflicted over this, and need some encouragement and advice!

Thanks!
 

[GraceKellysmom]

I'm going to respond to this here, but will the Intro mod please move it to the appropriate forum when you get a chance? I'll follow it there too.

I would say to work on the nap thing and I bet the night time will come around on it's own. When you do the rocking routine, put him down more and more awake. So you might notice that his eyes start closing and then you try to lay him down. You can pat his back the same in the crib. If he wails, pick him up and try again. Some babies need to fuss and move around a little to get settled in their crib. It may take a week or so of continually laying him down more and more awake before you see progress. Just go as slow as you need to.

As far as schedules, I am the queen of manipulation. Once I got my baby on a decent EASY schedule, I figured out how to work around it. So play group is at 10? Then ds got a 30 min nap in the car on the way there, and I got him home in time for his next nap in his crib. Need a nap at church, sure, he napped there in the sling until he was 9 months old. I tried my hardest to only have one nap out-and-about and the rest were at home. It is actually good to keep them flexible so you aren't stuck at home all the time, they need to be able to have an alternative napping place, IMHO.

PS the better they sleep during the day, the better they sleep at night. Those nightwakings are from being overtired. At 4 months, he probably likes 2 longer naps and one shorter one. And once he learns how to put himself back to sleep in the crib (sometimes they need to fuss a little-not cry - just complain) he will put himself back to sleep at night too.

Hope something here can help you get started.

[Poppy & Lily]

Hi calebs mom,

I'm just moving this over to general sleep forum so you can get some more good advice

[charity421]

ever since my son was born he would fall asleep in his swing and then i would put him in his crib.  he would sleep for the right amount of time during his naps and night sleep, and would get good sound sleep.  now i am trying to get him to fall asleep in his crib and not his swing. i started this 3 days ago, and for the last 3 days he hasn't slept more than an hour at a time for his nap(he's only taking one nap now in the morning), exhausted all day but wont go to sleep until 10 at night and to top it all off, he refuses to sleep in his crib at all now.  i am so tired and don't know what to do. 
any help i could get about this i would appreciate,
thank you

[Aarismom]

Hiya and welcome to the boards!

Just a quick thought...have you tried putting him to bed earlier? Maybe 7? Nightwakings are often a result of not getting completely rested at night and not making it up during the day over the course of several days.  He should be up to between 10-12 hours at night, and 3-5 hours during the day for a total of about 14.5-15 hours. Granted you won't get this every day, but the more consistant the better.

Unfortunately, most babies thrive on schedules. They like to know what comes next. While you can be flexible, try and keep things routine for the most part most days. Give him his naps around the same time every day. Put him to bed around the same time every night. Get him up around the same time every morning, even if you have to wake him. Between naps he should (hopefully) be up closer to 2 hours. What I usually do is try to get at least 1 good nap in every day. After the second nap is when I usually end up running my erronds, because the cat nap can be taken anywhere. It eventually disappears anyway. Don't forget about your wind downs...they're important because they become cues for your lo that it's sleepy time...especially the night routine.

As for becoming his prop, unfortunately there's no easy fix there. PU/PD and shh/pat are what you can use at this point. You can also use Wake to sleep to extend naps and get through the nightwakings. I would take a few days with a partner and work on doing this. It may take 3 or 4 days, but if you're consistant with it, it should work. Just be careful not to go in unless he actually cries out to you.

One final note...your lo is right in the middle of the development stage where daytime sleep develops. This could be part of your problem with 45 min naps. It usually ends up lasting around 3 weeks or so.

Hope some of this helps!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P