Problem with 2 to 1 naps and bedtimes too!

[LisaM]

Hiya

My dd is 17 months old and I need some help and advice please.  She has always been a child that has needed quite a lot of sleep and we are having problems going to one nap.  She is only taking between an hour and hour and a half for her nap (sometimes I think its because overtired when I put her down but if we go any earlier and she has a short nap, bedtime will be too far away for her).  She used to be great at going to bed at night, would have bath, bottle, song etc and then into her cot no fuss and quickly asleep with me gone out of the room, however, for the last week she has screamed whenever I leave the room so I have started staying in there until she is asleep which I really didn't want to do as we had this when she was 8 months old which I think was separation anxiety and it lasted about 2 months and sometimes would take her 2 hours to go off.  I have tried talking to her outside the door etc but she just goes nuts.  I don't know if this has started because she is too tired when going to bed because of the one nap but have also tried on days when had 2 naps and she has done the same now - think it has become a habit to have me in there with her.  Also we recently moved house and had a 2 week holiday, she was really good during these times but this started about a week and a half after our holidays.  Has anyone else had this happen at this age - did it coincide with changing your childs naps?

Sorry this is a bit garbled and long just trying to get it all down while she takes her nap. 

Do you think it is more confusing if some days she takes 2 naps and others 1?  When she wakes at 6am we have been doing 2 naps so her routine is different a lot.

Any help would be great - thanks

PS we started on the one nap on holiday so it didn't start straight away with bedtime problems.
Lisa

[ella&jack'smum]

Sorry, dont really have any advice, other than it isn't clear from your post why you have moved to 1 nap - is it your choice or is there something else in her routine which is driving it?

All I'd say is from my experience the age at which they drop the 2nd nap can vary wildly - with Jack he went to 1 nap at 12 months, Ella still had 2 naps until she was 2!!! If you're changing the naps just cos you think you should then all I'm saying is your child may not be ready.

Don't know if this is any help or not.....

[Carmela's Mom]

Can you post her routine?  Like what time she wakes up, what time you put her down and what time is bedtime?

Often times, when switching to one nap they do only take 1.5 hour naps but by moving bedtime earlier and by being consistent, usually they can stretch it out.

With my daughter, I first moved her morning nap to 10:00 a.m. then around 4, I'd put her in her crib for a 1/2 hour.  Whether she slept or not, it was her break time from me.  Then if she slept, she went to bed at 7:00 and if not at 6:30.  We then moved it in 1/2 hour increments every few days until she fell asleep at noon.  Her bedtime still is between 6:30 and 7 depending how she sleeps.

[tylersmommy]

Once I get a look at her routine, I may be able to offer some advice there. For the sep anx, around 18 mo is when it often shows up again. We dealt with it off and on from 18-20 mo. I didn't want to stay in the room with Tyler and create a bad habit, and verbal reassurance from outside the door didn't help. I ended up doing the "in and out" technique. He'd cry, I'd make sure it wasn't just a quick protest cry (I could usually tell after a few seconds that it was going to escalate), I'd go in, say "night night, Tyler," lay him down (if he didn't do it on his own), put my hand on him for a few seconds, whisper "night night" again, and leave. I did it over and over and over until the phase passed. I always tried to reassure him from outside the door first, and if that didn't work, I'd start with the in and out routine. It's exhausting, but it worked for us and got us through the phase without creating any bad habits. HTH!

[LisaM]

Thanks for your responses.

I will try keep going back into the room although she has got herself into such a state sometimes I am not sure if it will work as doubt I could get out the room before she started crying again, will give it a go though.

I only decided to try for one nap as she was started to take a really long time (sometimes up to an hour) to go to sleep for her 2nd nap so I thought maybe she was ready to give one up.  Also the last two mornings when I have tried to put her down early for a nap to have a two nap day she has seemed ready and goes quiet straight away and I thought she was asleep but then she starts to gabble and shout out etc, she might go off eventually but if I leave it too long the afternoon nap would be really late and the later the less likely she would be to take that 2nd one.

Our routine is varying a lot but this is sort of it:

If wakes at 6am or before we try for a nap between 9 and 9.30am
(lately I have woken her after about 45 mins from this one and she seems to go off for the 2nd nap much quicker)
She normally has about 4 hrs of awake time so maybe nap between 2 and 2.30pm - normally will sleep about an hour maybe hour and half
Then normally another 4 hours til bedtime so actual bedtime always varies depending on when she wakes up.

Now on one nap if wakes at 7ish she has nap at about 11.30am for hopefully hour and half but mostly on average hour and 15 mins so up by 12.45 - 1pm and then bed at 6pm, with me sitting in the room with her it is normally taking her about 30 mins- 40 mins to go off to sleep (on a good night - bad ones can take 2 hours!).  I know she struggles with the awake time on one nap and am not sure if this has started the bedtime problems as it used to be great when she was on 2 naps consistently and had been great for a long time. 

The other problem that seems to be starting now is that she is waking up even earlier - yesterday was 5am but did go back off at 5.20 until 6am but today awake by 5.30am and not back to sleep, so I have tried to put her down about 9am but she doesn't sound like she is gonna go off.  Help!! Its all going really wrong!  I hope this is all just a phase - just feel like its all getting out of control and don't know how to fix it.  Anyway, I'd better go get her up now so we can get the shopping done before I need to get her to take her one nap, trouble is now I know she is tired so will probably fall asleep in the car which I don't want her to do!

Thanks again for your help
Lisa x