8 1/2 m/o random night waking again..how to break the habit?

[mlindsey]

My 8 1/2 mth old daughter has started night waking again after a sickness & pain with teething.  She WAS on a great 4hr EASY schedule...waking at 6am w/ 2 - 2 hour naps.  But the night wakings have gone on for the past month & i'm not sure how i can help her.  She wakes randomly in the night (so i can't really do wake-to-sleep).  She will occassionally go back to sleep if we pick her up for a minute.  But we usually end up feeding her at least once during the night (sometimes she is pretty hungry...but usually we just try to feed her a little & put her back down).  & then this messes up our daytime schedule.  She will wake for the morning around 6am (sometimes earlier & sometimes at 7am).  But she is so tired that she can only stay up for an hour.  We have tried lots of things...putting her immediately back down (but she just screams & then seems wide awake)...to trying to quietly play for the 2 hours...but she never seems to make it.  She's just exhausted.  So when we put her down early she just takes a short nap & is up again...way before it's time to eat.  We do usually try to wait to feed her.  But her whole schedule is really thrown off.  & every day seems different.  & We can never seem to get her into bed at the same time each night (which i think might add to her night waking).  Some nights she will take a short nap at around 5pm (if she has awaken from her last nap at 3pm...because i know that it will be difficult for her to make it until 7:30 or 8pm.  & some nights she will only be getting up at 5pm from her last nap & will stay up until 8pm.  We try to get her into bed at the same time each night...but sometimes it's an hour difference.  I'm just not sure how i can help her.  i want her to learn how to go back to sleep in the night.  i hate that she is often tired all morning.  i'm not sure what all is contributing to her night waking...maybe because sometimes she eats before the 4 hours, different bedtimes, playing & then eating & sleeping instead of EAS, pain with teething, & now getting used to us helping her sleep, etc.  Does anyone have any suggestions??  Also, her nap times are only about 1 hour, maybe 1 1/2 hours.  but i assumed they would get less when she got this age.  anyway, we are desperate & all exhausted! 
Thanks!
Misty

[jchang]

My sympathies...You must be exhausted.

First thing I would suggest is to make sure she gets enough to eat during the day so that you know it's not hunger waking her.  DD eats solids 4x/day plus 3-4 breastfeeds.  Once I stopped BFing dd in the middle of the night, her night wakings reduced quite a bit.  She usually sleeps through the night.  If she wakes up, we don't always do the same thing.  Sometimes we'll go into her room, calm her, then put her back in the crib & sit quietly until she falls asleep (she'll get upset if she sees us leave).  Sometimes if she just won't quit crying, we'll just get too tired to continue comforting her, & let her cry it out (usu. takes about 15-30 minutes).  Usually, the next night, she'll sleep through.  HTH.

[mlindsey]

I have been trying to get her to eat more during the day.  But she has silent reflux & so it's a little more difficult.  She does eat solids 3x a day.  But sometimes this isn't much (it's harder to get her to eat solids in the morning...so sometimes we are trying 4x day).  But she eats about an ounce of solids each meal.  She is bottlefed now & gets at least 25 oz total per day & we are still doing the dream feed (since her solid meals aren't stable yet).  She eats 4.5 oz at each feeding...but it usually takes many tries (up to 2 hours) to get her to finish this.  She weighs about 9 kg...so i thought she might need more than this...but we have to almost "fight" her to get her to eat this much.  So i guess she's okay.  What do you think?  Eating has always been a battle for us...but she seems healthy!!  She is a big baby.  :)
 
I will try your suggestions about comforting her (& not leaving her) & trying not to give in & feed her at night.  I will try that tonight & then see if she eats more tomorrow during the day.  i think we have developed this habit & since she is getting somewhat of a feeding at night...she has maybe dropped back a little on her eating during the day.  Does this make sense?   It's crazy that she will do great for a couple of months & then it seems like something always messes things up.  Is it always going to be like this??  :) 

Please let me know if you have any other thoughts. 
Thanks so much! 
misty

[jchang]

I agree with you - it's likely that b/c she's getting nighttime feedings, she doesn't eat as much during the day so if you take that out, she'll probably start eating more during the day.  Dd's appetite gradually increased when I stopped the night feedings.

Unfortunately, there will constantly be new challenges - nothing stays the same for very long.  Once you get comfortable in a routine, watch out for a new surprise around the corner.  :roll:   The challenge for me has been to just roll with it.  I keep having to remind myself that whatever action I take is it something that I am willing to make into a habit - that helps guide me sometimes.  Other times, I just get frustrated as all get out & then ask for help here. 

[jchang]

Also, if she doesn't want to eat, don't force the issue - it might create a negative association.  Just try again later when she's in a good mood.  She won't starve herself.

[mlindsey]

Thanks for your encouragement!  Last night wasn't much better.  She kept waking up every 30 min.  i would get her back to sleep & then she was crying again.  Finally, i fed her just a little thinking maybe she is really hungry (since she keeps waking).  Then she woke again at 5:30am & we decided to wait a bit longer before getting her up.  & she fell back to sleep...waking again at 7:30am!  She woke up & played in her bed (like she used to when she got enough sleep).  She was able to stay up the full 2 hours (2.5 hours actually).  So this was much better.  She wouldn't eat much.  & hasn't really been interested in eating solids the past 2 days.  But hopefully we can get back on track soon. 

Another question...at this age do you continue to feed every 4 hours?  Is there a time when you feed every 5 hours?  You mentioned that yours only has 3-4 feeds.  Just wondering your schedule & how old yours is. 

Thanks again. 
Misty

[jchang]

Stick with it - it may take a few days before you see change. 

I bf my 9mo at least 3 times (after waking, mid-day, before bed).  Sometimes if she's cranky, I'll give her an extra feed.  Solids are given about every 3 hours (after waking, after 1st nap, after 2nd nap, & dinner - 5:30-6ish).

Is she teething - maybe that's why she's not interested in solids?

Also, I've found that if I take her out for physical activity she sleeps deeper.  We haven't really been doing that last few days so she's been a really light sleeper - she'd wake when we put the blanket on her (which means it can take up to 2 hours to get her sleeping again).  :shock: Playing at home or being pushed around in a stroller isn't enough to tire her out.

[jchang]

Is dd using a pacifier at night?  If so, maybe she's waking up b/c it's falling out of her mouth.

[mlindsey]

She doesn't use a paci...so that's not the problem.  i do like to take her outdoors everyday...but it's getting very cold here...so she doesn't really get lots of physical exercise outside.  (but she loves to "jump" constantly)  She does often get overstimulated & then has more trouble sleeping...like if she misses a nap or we are out all day.  But i will try to make sure she has more physical activity & maybe more time outside. 

i don't know if i could decrease Sophia's feedings yet.  Because of reflux, she just doesn't eat much at a time.  But it's great to see your example & maybe what to look forward to.  :)  i think part of the reason she is having trouble eating lately is because she has been so tired.  & maybe teething too.  but she doesn't seem to have as much pain with teething lately.  Anyway, thanks for the suggestions.  & all the help.

[jchang]

Good luck and hang in there.

In regards to the physical activity, I make sure her play time is in between naps otherwise Ella gets overtired.  It makes the day a little more hectic b/c there's so much to do in just 2.5 hours of awake time - eating, transportation, playing.