Every night I put dd to bed I am hopeful (long)

[Beata]

But things seem to be getting worse! After a bedtime feeding she's down by 7 pm (normally happy to fall asleep with her lovey and her bear and no paci - but lately wanting the paci too). Then last night...

Up at 10:30 - I feed her (have not been successfeul in turning into a df)
Down no problem 10:50
Up 11:30 - Rejected water, paci, tried pu/pd, but each time I pu'ed she nuzzled fo rmy boob. So I fed her and she suck away feverishly for at least 20 minutes, and then unlatched herself. Put her down, asleep no prob.
2:30 up. I went in crying and said "Cate, mommy REALLY need some sleep" think I startled her b/c she took paci, I left, and no peep until...
4:30When I fed her b/c it had been 4 hours, and I could not deal with pu/pd
6:00 am Up...I changed her diaper and she was nuzzling boob again (she grab my arm so tightly and opend mounth and goed in the general area of boob - really too funny    if I was not at my wits end! So I fed and she ate a lot again
Down and she played until 7am when I asked dh to take her, and that I would feed her again at 8 to start the day's schedule. Ate well again at 8 am, and down for a nap at 8:45 (a little earlier than normal but she had not slept since 6am. Ugh...

This has become a general schedule since 4 months!!! She's almost 6 months. Some nights she only wakes at 11 and 4ish then at 7, but more often not. So even if THIS is a growth spurt (she's a week shy of 6 mo.) What am I doing wrong? I have not slept more than 4 hours in 2 months. Don't know how long I can do this. I try to nap when dh helps on weekends, or during her naps occasionally.

I have ordered a few new books, not BW because I am thinking we just are not getting it! I am thinking about CIO but every instinct in my body says NO!

Thanks for reading  :oops: [/i]

[Beata]

PS days are on a decent 3-4 hour EASY starting at 7 or 8. Naps 2 b/w 1-2 hours and one catnap before bed at 5ish.

[Richelle]

HI Beata

It is Richelle, Sophies Ma from the March/April Thread!  Does Cate fall asleep independently? 

Also, what do you consider CIO.  At 6 months a baby knows object permanence and helping your LO learn to sleep is going to result in some tears no matter what you do.  CIO means you leave a baby in the bed top cry on their own, 

I will post a bit more later - I am at work :oops: !

[mommytsa]

I would just like to say that although I can't offer any help, I totally sympathize.  My DS (1 day older than your dd  ) has been doing the EXACT same thing for the last 3 months.  In fact, the "sleep" schedule you posted was what I did last night, except I weaned Aaron from the pacifier at 3 months (which is what started the whole pu/pu thing in the first place). 

I, too, have tried everything I can think of.  I have been horribly consistent with the routine, but it still takes between 5-10 minutes of pu/pd to get him to go down for his naps during the day.  So lately I have taken to feeding him to sleep for his catnap, and any other time when I am home.  It makes absolutely no difference!!!  He does fall asleep independantly at night though.  But this has been going on for 3 months!!!  After hellish nights the last two nights, DH and I have discussed that it just doesn't seem to matter which way we do it, so I might as well just feed the bugger back to sleep every time he wakes.  We all might get a little more sleep that way.

So no help, just lots of hugs and sympathy.  You are not alone in your desperation.  All I can say is that you need to follow your gut, and if you truly feel that CIO is the only way to go, then that's what you have to do.  I understand that it really doesnt' seem like it could be that much worse than 2-3 hours of pu/pd in the middle of the night.  But I totally know where you're coming from when you say that everything in your being is screaming "no" about it.  I'm going to reread the "no cry sleep solution" and see if I can find any insights that might help us.  If I find anything I will let you know so we can all benefit.

Again, hugs!  It's gotta get better!

[Beata]

Thanks for the support Theresa..I agree it's GOTTA get better...same here, I'll post if whatever we do starts working. But as Richeele says, I think I have to prepare for some tears :oops:

Richelle - She falls asleep for naps really great and all alone 99 percent of the time. At bedtime she does as well. The difference is I never feed her to sleep in the day, and at bedtime I feed her to fill her up, but usually she pulls off or I jostle her a little awake if she falls asleep. So the short(er) answer is yes, she know how to fall asleep independantly.

I guess when you say that about CIO - I am not wanting to really do that. I guess I also have to steel myself for the crying that will happen when I really figure out a plan to teach her to sleep through thte night.

Please send ANY suggestions my way - as far as where to start, etc. Thanks! I may see you at the evening chat if I am awake that long!  :shock: 

PS Luckily everyday Cate just just cute as can be so I recover a bit - from my anxiety and frustration!

[Richelle]

HI Beata & mommytsa,

First of all I am by no means an expert but Sophie does sleep through the night and does nap well now and she did not for the 1st 2.5/3 months.  She had always been good at night but used to not only be horrid at napping but hardly napped at all!! :shock:  I tried pupd, patshhh ect.. for naps but was not too stressed as her nighttime sleep was good.  Well at 3 months she started waking at night, every couple of hours consistently. 

At that point I would do anything to get her to nap and back to sleep at night and that mainly boiled down to walking/swaying her to sleep, which she would for a MAX of 45 minutes.  I would also feed right before bed at night and she would go down VERY drowsy but I still considered it awake.  I never considered anything I was doing accidental parenting but whe one day i truley removed myself from the situation I had been accidental parenting the whole time.

I then thought I would work on the naps first as they were toughest and I had more stamina than in the middle of the night.  I also revaluated what i considered CIO, to me that meant I didn;t let Sophie cry.  Well, as soon as i realized that no matter what i was doing this girl is still crying I had another epiphony, she would cry but I could still be there helping her-thus developing into my version of patshhh.  I would lay Sophie on her side, in a DARK room after a 'quick' story and sip of water, and let her hold my fingers and then I would pat her butt while saying very quietly shhshhshhshhshhshh always at the same volume.  It took ages of her crying and getting very upset but i perservered and stayed consistent and within a week it would only take 2 to 4 mintues of her crying to fall asleep.  At night when she would wake it only took a couple of weeks of consistently leaving her laying in her crib and patting her butt  for her to wake up, fuss a little and then get herself back to sleep.  It was sooo hard at the time but I am glad i carried on as i did...   

A month after this she was no longer crying at all when put in her crib and now after a quick story and sip of water i put her in her crib wide awake and she talks herself to sleep for naps and bedtime. 

Like I said I am no expert and think I have been blessed with an angel but I thought I would share my story and maybe ther is something useful to you or something that you indentify with!

HTH as this is a super duper long post... yikes!

[maricar]

hi,

i, too, am experiencing the frequent night wakings with my 6 1/2 month old.  unfortunately for him, he was subjected to accidental parenting (nursing to sleep) until last week when i started sleep training.  i'm sorry i have nothing to offer in terms of advice.  just wanted you to know that you're not alone & i, too, am willing to give any suggestions a try.

good luck  :wink:

[Katw]

Hi there,

It must be a age thing! My DD is 6 months on friday and we have been doing EASY since she was 5 weeks. It took ages of sh/pat training and crying ( her and me) for us to finally teach her to go to sleep on her own.

However for the past 6 weeks or so, its all been a struggle again. She is not too bad for the 1st two naps but absolutely refuses the catnap now but is then so overtired that she won't go to sleep at bedtime.
I am now back to shushing and holding an arm still to stop her getting out of her swaddle!
It's so tiring and annoying as I know she knows how to sleep on her own!!!
So I don't really have any suggestions but please let it just be an ' age ' phase, if anyone else has gone through this - please, please tell us it is??

[mommytsa]

Well, I just wanted to pop in here real quick and let you know what I've started doing.  the last two nights, I've closed Aaron's bedroom door.  He's very loud, and right next door to us, so I still hear him, btu I have found that he wakes and fusses and mantra cires, but after 5-15 min will go back to sleep.  No intervention needed, just time of listening to him fuss.  I will say that he is not screaming the "mommy come get me" cry, just sort of fussing and moaning and whining.  I still wake up and listen to him, but I only got out of bed twice in the last two nights for feeds around 11 and 4.  Not too shabby, and it seems like he's not taking as long to settle himself each time he wakes.  I'm really hopeful that if left on his own like this he will start to sleep better and wake less often. 

How are things going with your lo's?