What to make of this

[Aiden and Marlo's Mama]

Alright, a couple days ago Marlo had been asleep for about 30 minutes after a feed and then started to cry and was seriously fussing.  DH says "She's hungry.  Make her a bottle."  So I say, she just ate like a half hour ago, she just needs to go back to sleep.  (She had spent about 15 minutes on 1 breast.)  And I try and try to get her back to sleep, which is not so easy, she's crying and dh says the same thing again. 

Exasperated, I go ahead and make her one, just to prove to dh that she's not hungry - and she finished the whole freakin thing.  4 oz.  :shock:

So then I'm thinking, well she just needed to suck on something and when she burps, all that formula will be all over dh's shirt. 

Ah, NOPE! 

So, obviously MY feelings are hurt.  I'm feeling TOTALLY inadequate and wonder if in the last few days when she's been difficult to settle in the afternoons if it's because she's just starving and I'm (dh's words  :x  ) "too proud" to admit that breastfeeding just isn't enough for her and that I may as well just quit and give her formula.  :x  :evil:  :x

I've been so upset about this and I don't even have the fight in me and absolutely no reasoning behind it to argue with dh when he's obviously right in this case regarding her needing to eat more or whatever.  :cry:

When I got upset dh said, this isn't about you, it's about what Marlo needs.  I understand that and all but I'm feeling so down and useless right now - I'm still bf'ing her at night though (usually around 1am and 4am)and first thing in the mornings (6 or 7 am) and she seems to be fine with that - I'm also trying to bf her a bit in the afternoons but have to "top her off" with formula.

I don't want to give up completely, but am just so very sad that I know this is totally the end of it, my breasts already feel empty and saggy all day.  :cry:

Should I just go ahead and throw in the towel on the whole thing or can she still get my immunities (enough to ward off any preschooler-type germs) from just a couple bf's a day? (Obviously there's a lot more that I could go on and on about, but that prolly belongs in "relationships" and I don't have the time to write it all out but I'm definitely making an appointment with a counselor tomorrow, and I'll prolly be lurking about in the PPD boards too  :cry:  )

[LindseysMom]

If you think she is hungry why not just put her back to your breast instead of offering her formula?  It really is the best thing to help stimulate your body to make more milk.  I can't remember how old your lo is but I know she is not that old so I would think it is best to keep offering her the breast every 1-2 hours unless she is asleep and always offer it as soon as she wakes up.  It can take up to 6 weeks to fully establish a good milk supply so let her nurse, nurse, nurse.  And have dh help with your older child so you can nurse as often as you need to to help with your supply.  :wink:   I can imagine it must be hard with another child to take care of also.  And yes, she can get your immunities from just one or two feeds a day but as young as she is you may need to build up your supply more before you back off of it that much.   I am not trying to say formula is bad either, It can be bad for a Mom who is trying to establish milk supply though.

[Lilah'sMommy]

I'm with Lynne.  When your baby is so young, any supplementing is going to lead directly to a decrease in supply.  The more you supplement, the less milk you'll have.  DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL!  You can do this.  Let her nurse all day long (do you have a sling?  Put her in it and let her nurse to her heart's content, then you can still look after ds).  It really is critical to keep plowing along at this stage if you want to keep nursing at all.  Also, see a lactation consultant.  You might find that there's a problem with latch/suck that can be corrected.  But don't give up.  And tell dh to read these posts so we can tell him he needs to SUPPORT you through this.

Other than that, {{{HUGS}}}.  It sounds like you need them.

[Colleen]

First of all -- {{{HUGS}}}}!!!! I've been there! This is the stage that REALLY REALLY sucks.   I do promise it will get better soon.

Second of all -- DON'T throw in the towel!!! Breastfeeding IS hard, especially with 2nd/3rd babies. Ditto to everything they said above about supply and all that. It is true!!  Yes she may be hungry, but giving her the bottle will make your supply go away at this point, before it is fully established to begin with.

Third -- Call a lactation consultant TOMORROW! You can probably see one for free through your hospital or through a county office. Call a LLL leader in your area. And YES -- call a counselor.

I give you my word that the stage you are at right now (2-8 weeks old) is the HARDEST HARDEST time! You just have to make it through, it will soon get better I promise!!!

{{{{{{{{MORE HUGS}}}}}}}}

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Lori, this time around feeding Danielle I questioned my supply so many times in the first 4mths, my boobs went from hard to soft over and over and would take about 3 days to rebuild the supply.  Danielle hit a growth spurt at 3wks which had me worried but once we got through it, it gave me a bit more confidence to trust in my body.

Yes she would have sucked back the formula, but you really need to keep offering her the breast to up your supply.

You can do it! 

[Katet]

Ditto everythings everyone else has said. I'm guessing you might have hit a growth spurt!
BF is supply & demand. If you have only offered 1 side offer the other if she seems unsettled & if you really want to bf try pumping a bit after 1 or 2 feeds a day... when Liam got sick, my supply dropped big time & I pumped after 2 feeds/day & within 3 days I had him back feeding well again.
Hang in there you are doing great & hey if you have PPD... well join the club 15-20% of us do!!

[Jennifer2e]

Lori
Hang in there girl.  It does such but you can do it.  Do you have a breast pump?  It would really help if you have an electric pump to increase your supply.  Since you are single side feeding you could pump the other side after she eats.  Then when you needed a bottle you would have EBM and could see how much she was getting.

When you are depressed or on the verge EVERYTHING seems impossible.  Two things that you have to be doing right now.  Eat when the baby eats and sleep when she sleeps.  Is Aiden out of the house during the day so that you can sleep when Marlo does?  Also even at night put a snack and a HUGE bottle of water next to the spot you nurse.  I think it helps to have my pumpkin bread to look forward to when I have to get up in the middle of the night. :lol:

Do you have someone who can make you some frozen meals so that you don't have to cook dinner right now? 

Water does great things to help your supply.  Drink tons of it!!!!  Also Mothers Milk tea  helps also.

Please lean on us if you need to.  II have had to lean on everyone here just to survive.  It is TERRIBLE having a newborn.  I know that is not a nice thing to say but it is so hard sometimes.   We love them dealy and can't wait for them to get here but golly they make you crazy when they arrive :!:

[GraceKellysmom]

Everyone has said such wonderful things! I wanted to send you my {hugs} and support, and say I know you can do this!

Phooey on your dh for being a poopy support system! You both are probably exhausted, and that surely doesn't contribute well.

[kate585]

Big (((hugs))) to you.  Sorry you're having a rough time of it.  I second everything everyone else said.  You can do it! 

Just wanted to add that root beer is supposed to up supply, too.  Even the diet kind, not that you should be worrying about that now.   

[Aiden and Marlo's Mama]

Oh dh gets his rest.  :roll: But wanted to say thanks for the support, ladies - knew I could count on you all!  I've still been going back and forth, depending on the time of day and what's going on as it takes her now about 15-20 minutes to nurse and only about 5-10 to suck down a bottle - I'm basically getting her switched halfway so bottles between 7 and 3 (for when I'll be going back to work  :cry:  in a couple weeks - gosh time flies :cry:  :cry: ).

I even just got done nursing her and after I burped her, she promptly spit up a bit of breastmilk (YAY!) and passed right out! 

[momtocheyenne&toby]

Do what you think is best...don't worry about doing it all if that doesn't work out.  My dh said a lot of the same things yours did with both of my kids..he would freak out thinking the kids weren't getting enough.  With Cheye I stuck it out...heck it was my full time job at the time.  With Toby I did 75% breast 25% formula and to me it totally took the pressure off of me and it was damn nice not to have him attached to me all the time and I could attend to my other very needy child.  By 6 mos. I went to 100% formula and didn't look back.  I used to be one of those moms that gave raised eyebrow looks at moms that were purchasing formula...so over that!  I'm still 100% pro-breastfeeding..I"m just not anti-formula anymore.  I can understand why it was so popular in the past and seemed so liberating