Author Topic: 4 week old - feedings and sleep  (Read 1842 times)

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Offline momma of two

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4 week old - feedings and sleep
« on: November 20, 2005, 17:55:07 pm »
How long do you feed at 3 hrs apart? I am breastfeeding and did for my first son (4 yrs ago) but I don't rememer how long I kept up the 3 hr feedings. My new son usually wakes every 2.5 hrs at nite to feed. I still set my alarm- for every 3 hrs - but usually don't need it as he wakes me up. Right now am trying to also get him used to sleeping in his cradle for naps as he was held alot and slept in his bouncy seat(w/o the vibrator) for much of his first 4 weeks-except at nite (I had a scheduled c-section 2 weeks early) .Am trying to follow Tracey's advice on getting him to sleep.Not always easy with my 4 yr old around.Also-how long to I allow him to cry before I intervene if he can't get to sleep by sheltering his eyes, ect.??? I didn't do the EASY/SLOW with my 1st son but really want to do the right thing this time!! :wink:
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annamum

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4 week old - feedings and sleep
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2005, 19:06:59 pm »
I think you don't let him cry at all, you don't want him to cry but if he has problem settling down to sleep you need to use pat/shh methods or do whatever else works. I am not an expert on sleep issues, somebody will hopefully help you out with that.

As for feeding, at night, you don't wake him to feed, nurse only when he wakes up and put him down when he is asleep. Don't let him wait during the night, he may be genuinely hungry at 4 weeks.
During the day, find how often he needs to be fed, say every 2.5 or 3 hours and stick with that routine. It doesn't have to be exactly every 3 hours with every baby, some need to feed a little more often. You may be flexible, what counts with EASY is the fact that you don't feed to sleep so the baby won't associate boob with sleep, the only exception for this are wakings in the night.

Offline cymonguk

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4 week old - feedings and sleep
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2005, 19:29:29 pm »
Based on my recent experience with a 6 week old phoebe will usually moan/cry/whine on and off for any where upto 15 mins when I pat/ssh her on my shoulder, before giving one last whine, at which point you should put down before they are asleep, I have to say im not there yet.

She doesnt cry for long tho using pat/ssh on my shoulder, maybe 1 min at first, and the total length seems to be decreasing with each attempt

Offline Mom2katiebug

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Let your LO tell you
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2005, 20:00:59 pm »
We have a 4WO as well, but we bottle-feed (mostly formula, but some EBM).  We let her tell us when she's hungry.  It's usually every 2.5 to 3 hours during the day with cluster feeding in the evening.  However, if we've gone 3 to 3.5 hours since she had her last bottle, we'll wake her up to eat.

At night, it's a different story.  We do the cluster feeds in the evening, spacing them 2 hours apart (like 4pm, 6pm and 8pm or 5pm, 7pm and 9pm depending on the day).  Then, we put her to bed and tuck in ourselves.  When she wakes up hungry in the night, we get up and feed her, change her and tuck her back to bed.  We don't wake her on a schedule to eat.  Things are still all over the board, but we can usually get at least one 4 hour stretch of sleep each night.  Last night was great with a 5 hour stretch!  Feel like a new woman today!

Supposedly this helps the babies learn to differentiate daytime (shorter sleeps, more awake, more food) and nighttime (longer sleeps, less awake).

As far as getting to sleep on her own...we're still struggling with this one.  Some are good; others are a disaster!
"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you also have an obligation to be one."  - Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline momma of two

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« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2005, 00:01:12 am »
Thanks Ladies for your advice.
On the sleeping - I do the shh/pat and try to relax him before I lie him down to sleep. It is when I lie him down that he often starts crying (I do try to put him down drowsy but with eyes open). I am trying to do this without his soother, but I relent if he gets upset. But often if it pops out of his mouth, it wakes him up - which is why I am trying to get him to sleep without the soother.
On the feeding - I never wake him at nite to nurse. It is during the day that I wonder about. In the book The baby Whisperer - I am pretty sure that Tracy said not to let them sleep past a feeding. There has been a few occasions where he has just gotten into a good sleep 1/2 before his time to feed. AND - so often he falls asleep while I am holding him after he nurses. So - do I wake him then???(I have a very fast let down and he eats fast for 10 mins then just kinda suckles-sometimes after another 10 mins he will suck hard and my milk will "let down" again!) I don't want him to associate nursing to sleeping. I did that with my first son. Always nursed and rocked him to sleep. It worked well, but caused problems as he got older. He nurses more frequently at night. It is hard to do the cluster feeds at night as I have a 4 yr old as well and that seems to be our busiest time with dinner and such! My babe tends to spit up a lot if he nurses more than 2.5 hrs apart. Any advice on all this?? Ohh - to sleep longer than 2.5 hrs would be wonderful!!!
Thank you again. I do appreciate any ideas/advice!

annamum

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4 week old - feedings and sleep
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2005, 06:37:44 am »
I know that Tracy says to wake up and feed, this makes sense since we are supposed to feed every 3 hours and if a baby misses a feed he may not get enough callories. If your child is very sleepy and would miss a lot of his feedings or if he is not gaining weight, I would wake up and feed. But, from my experience, when I was waking up my dd, I think I basically was messing up with her sleep. She wasn't a great sleeper to start with, but I have a feeling that by waking her up, I messed up her sleep. So, personally, I wouldn't wake up a baby unless he is sleeping too long but if he just fell asleep half an hour ago and now is the time to feed, I would just let him nap.

He is still so young that he may have real problem staying awake after nursing. You may try to keep him awake while he is breastfeeding by massaging him, rubbing his neck or changing his diaper or whatever works. But at 4 weeks, I wouldn't expect too much from him just yet. In a few weeks his ability to stay awake longer will increase and then you will have plenty of time to work on putting him to sleep independently. My opinion is not to worry too much now, you can't create long lasting habits that you won't be able to undo in a few weeks. They are so much more awake and alert once they pass 8-10 weeks.

Offline momma of two

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« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2005, 14:46:50 pm »
Goodmorning Ladies - My babes had a bad day for sleeping yesterday. He is really having a hard time going to sleep-any way. Am trying to help him to sleep on his own. Doing the shh/pat - but when I put him down he cries. Pick him up he stops. Yesterday tried picking him up every time he cried (what Tracey suggests at the end of her book) and put him down when he stops - went on for an hour one time and 45 mins another. (I have a 4 yr old, so this is hard to find time to do uninterupted) Hated to do it, but he was so tired, he needed to cry a little. So, let him cry for 2 mins then would give him his soother pat and shh. He would stop crying for 2-3  mins-wake up and start again. Not sure if I am making it worse. Whew. He hardly slept all day. Wanted to break him of soother for sleeping, but think I will tackle the going to sleep on his own (without being rocked or carried-Daddy does too much of that on the weekends) first and work on the soother once he is comfortable? He seems to be ok until he drops his soother then he wakes up-but can't seem to sooth himself without it right now. Have tried swaddling him but he always manages to get his arms out-no matter how tight I swaddle) He doesn't really need his soother at night - just for naps.

Offline momma of two

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« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2005, 15:43:49 pm »
Oh boy! I have tried the patting shh putting down picking up for over an hour - babes is so tired but won't go to sleep. Have a 4 yr old to take care of too. Going to pull my hair out. Babes has eaten, burped been changed. Should be fine. Just can't seem to get to sleep. Thank God for x-box video game which I don't like but is keeping my 4.5 yr old busy. Had to walk away from babes for a minute. Getting upset. Not mad just feeling really bad for him. Don't know what I am doing wrng.
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Offline Mom2katiebug

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No suggestions, just support
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2005, 17:10:05 pm »
My LO seems to be doing a very similar thing.  Nighttime is better, but naps are difficult.  Same thing as your LO - nodding off for just a couple of minutes and then waking up.  Waking when the paci pops out, tired and clearly needing to sleep, but unable to just relax and close her eyes.  Sounds really familiar and I feel the frustration too.  Not at my DD, but just because it's so clear to me what she needs and I can't seem to help her get there.

I've read on the boards that sleep can be really difficult around the 6 week mark and then slowly starts improving.  So, maybe this is a milestone of sorts that most babies go through.  I've kept this in the back of my mind (and even told my DH that things might get worse for a couple of weeks).  I can't give you any helpful advice - when she really just cannot settle and is completely out of sorts, we usually resort to AP (accidental parenting) through rocking her or her swing.  I know we'll pay for it later, but sometimes she just really needs to sleep.
"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you also have an obligation to be one."  - Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline momma of two

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« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2005, 18:57:48 pm »
Mom2Katiebug,
Thanks so much for your reply. Just hearing that my babe isn't the only one going thru this makes me realize I am not doing anything too wrong.Poor babes though.With a 4 1/2 yr old, it is really hard to find the time to do everything the book says to do with the sleeping. :cry: I owe my older boy some time,too.He has thankfully been fairly good.I just did a "bad" thing: nursed, let him go to sleep on me(no rocking-no soother) and put him down, he isn't crying but started fussing within 5 mins. Grunting and whining. Just letting him do so for now. He slept on and off for 45 mins this am then a good solid 15 min nap. But-it's just not enough.His eyes look so tired. :shock: Thanks for the info on the 6week olds having a hard time sleeping.My babe was a c-section-2 weeks early due to his size (8.6lbs when born) and my small size.Sometimes just hearing you are not alone makes all the difference. Wish there was a "Tracey" around here to come and fix everything.I must get her new book.She must have been a wonderful very special lady! God bless her.
And thank you. I suppose this too will pass and we will figure things out.For our first son we did the "accidental parenting". He slept a lot in his bouncy seat during the day - hated his cradle during the day. I nursed and rocked him to sleep (& enjoyed it) - but we rocked him to sleep till he was 2. When he was 2 1/2 months old I started putting him in his swing at scheduled times per day and once he got used to sleeping then, I moved him to his crib.It worked well.But it was quiet - no 4 yr old running around being loud and waking him up! Thanks again. Good luck and take care.
Momma of two.  :D

Offline miichan

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4 week old - feedings and sleep
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2005, 20:28:54 pm »
Dear mamma of two,

I just wanted to share what I'm doing with my DD.

I have a daughter who will be turning 4weeks old this Thursday and a 2-1/2 old son who I put him on EASY when he was about 2months old.  I had a very challenging time to get him to sleep on a long stretch.  I was afraid to carry him a lot with a thought that he will be so attached to me that I will have a hard time when I was ready to go back to work.  He used to falls asleep right after the feeding and was hard to keep him awake, too.  It was frustrating time because he will only take 20minutes nap and couldn't get him back to sleep, but after 4 months when I went back to work, he was sleeping through the night and until today he sleep through unitl 7-8am or later on the weekend unless when he is sick or something.

This time I'm incorporating another approach taught by Dr. Harvey Karp who wrote "the happiest baby on the block".  He has a way to calm the baby and get him to sleep longer.  You can look it up on his web site http://www.thehappiestbaby.com

I've been swaddling my DD when she is fussy and has hard time to go to sleep.  I didn't do this with my DS because where I live is warm and I didn't want him to get too hot.  So I got a light blanket and swaddle her tight and it really works.  Make sure that the baby's arms are straight down by the side when you do it, so he won't get himself out of it.  It really works with her and when she is comfortable sleeping without it, I just put her down and do little P/U&P/D when she needs it.  My DD too falls asleep right after or during the feeding, too.  I do my best to keep her awake or make sure that she gets a full stomach, but I figured that she is still young and this is really the adjusting period, so I top her off if she's still fussy and wakes up after she falls asleep for a while and  just change her diaper after the feeding and let her sleep.  If she fusses, it is usually the gas in her stomach, so I make sure that she gets a good burp before I put her down again.  I do use paci when she has the need to suck, but I tried to stay with her until she's comfy to go to sleep incase it pops out, again swaddling helps when she is like that.

I'm not sure yet that what I'm doing will work out in a long run, but for now she can sleep about 4-5hours at night, so I'm not complaining.
I do believe that EASY really works and Tracy had helped me to know what my baby is saying so she doesn't have to cry a lot to tell me what she wants.  But every baby is different, so relax and enjoy this time with your new baby. :D

Aloha,
Fumie
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