Well, I know I'll be shot at dawn for saying this but...
I know the BW way is not always the easiest way. The BW way though, is more than just sleep. It's feeding, loving, learning to listen, and taking care of your lo the best of your ability. While CIO is not an option to most moms, some moms on this site will admittedly say that they've employed some kind of variation of CIO. I admit freely that I have (more of a CC method, not straight CIO, but I was able to use many of the concepts of the BW way when she started getting the hang of the sleep thing, and I didn't employ it until after 3-4 months). Not all lo's are the same, obviously, and certain methods simply don't work well for some that work miracles for others.
Every method will eventually work if you are stubbornly consistant with it, I believe. But no method is easy. It's hard to keep in mind that you are doing what is best for your lo when they are screaming so hard, and you feel helpless, because tbh, in the end it is up to them to learn how to do it for themselves. Being in the room may help them make the transition easier...they have the comfort that they are being cared for, and are not alone. Many lo's NEED that support. However, I have found that sometimes your presence can be more distracting than helpful...that was certainly the case with my lo. She does SOO much better when I'm not in there hanging over her than when I am (unless she's sick).
That being said, I would say that if you have stuck to your guns with the BW method for more than a week and a half, you KNOW you've been unwavering in the method, and you know you've been doing it right, but you still can't see any results, then it might be time to vary the method a little. I don't think I could ever support true CIO on a personal level...but for some babies it works. Even those who are most opposed to the method have to admit that research supports that it does work for some, and there are no adverse affects on those lo's in later childhood or adulthood. After all, many of us had the CIO method employed on us when we were babies. Every lo has their own personality. However, I would never use it as a first method.
Please go with your conscience on this one. after 10 months or 4.5 months, I think you know your lo's personality best. Don't feel bad if you can't employ all the methods completely. But take a good look at how you've been doing it...have you been giving in in any way? Using props as a last resort? If you're honest with yourself and the answer is no, then vary your method. But if you're honest with yourself and the answer is yes, then maybe, if you truly believe in this method, you'll give it another 4 or 5 days without giving in and see if there's any light at all. In the end you have to do what's best for your family and your sanity, and no one on this site will make you the villian for it.
*HUGS*
Sonya =P
