What am I doing wrong?

[FreddieEden]

Hi,

My DS Daniel is 16 weeks old and I'm despairing over his nightwakings.  He has never been a great night time sleeper but we used to be able to get by with just two feeds in the night and occasionally one.  If he woke up at other times, we could get him back to sleep with the dummy and when that stopped working he became good at settling himself back to sleep when he didn't need feeding.  He would go from a 6.30 or 7 bedtime to about 11 or 12 and then wake about 3 or 4 and sometimes go to 6.30.  On about five occasions he has slept for 8 to 10 hours straight from his 7pm bedtime.  But that all seems to be going out of the window.  The last few days he has gone from 7 to 11 and basically been up every 2 or 3 hours after then.  Yesterday he managed to settle himself back down after about 20 or 30 minutes of grunting but last night and some other nights the only way I could settle him was breastfeeding him (he doesn't go down asleep from feeding but it seems to help him to get calm enough to settle himself).  These night feeds have a knock on effect so he is not hungry in the morning and I think I am just setting up a cycle so that he only feeds in the night (he is pretty distracted from feeding in the day).  He also often makes tired noises in his feeds during the day so I don't know if that is putting him off feeding.

He is pretty tired and miserable during the day at the moment.  He is also a 45 minute napper.  Used to be able to extend his naps but can't anymore.  On a couple of occasions  he has managed to settle himself back down to sleep after the 45 minutes but this has made no difference to his night wakings.

I am just at a loss as to what to do.  He goes to sleep independently.  I am trying to make sure he gets enough food during the day (though I can't physically force him to suck at the breast).  Tried topping him up with formula but he doesn't like bottles and seems to dislike the taste of formula.

Freddie

[mommyof2boys]

I'm sorry you're going through this too, but nice to know I'm not alone! 

Graham, 4 months yesterday, has been pulling this stunt for almost 3 weeks now.  He used to sleep through the night, then he went through 2 weeks of getting up 2 or 3x.  Then he slept through the night again for 3 nights but then started waking up again a few nights ago!  (A cruel tease for us).

Anyway, he wakes up about every 3 hours, but not at the same time each night.  Occasionally he'll resettle himself after 5 minutes, but last night he woke up 2x and both times I had to go to him; I breastfed to get him back down, and he really did seem rather hungry.

Could a growth spurt last this long?  What am I doing wrong?

He's on a 3.5 to 4 hour schedule and weighs about 18 lbs.  I've been able to extend his naps with a paci, but he goes to sleep for naps and for night independently and without the paci.

This is so discouraging and I'm so tired.

[dma]

I am in the same boat as both of you. My little boy just turned 4 months and has been waking up several times a night for the past few weeks. The only way I can get him back to sleep is by nursing him or turning him on his other side. I'm taking him for cranial-sacral and took him to a chiropractor today for the first time - something has to work... I will post if I see a major improvement after this week. He's got another cranial-sacral and chiropractor appt. on Thursday.
Have either of you tried pu/pd each time the baby wakes? That is next on my list of things to try. If either of you finds something that works - please share.
I'm glad to know I'm not alone - I so depressed because I keep thinking I'm doing something wrong...

[FreddieEden]

Hi,

How are you  both getting on?  Hope you are getting a bit more sleep.

We have had a better couple of nights (though now DH snoring is keeping me awake  :x ).  The night before last I went to bed at 8.30 with a raging headache but at least caught up on some rest.  Seem to be back to a couple of wakings (and only one feed last night as when I went in at 11, he was vocal but his eyes were shut and thumb in mouth so I left well alone and he settled) and he didn't wake again till 3.30 when he was completely ravenous.  I have tried pick up put down a few times but I think Daniel is not ready for it - just seems to overstimulate.  What he really needs to sleep is to be left alone but if he is upset he needs to be got into a place where he can soothe himself back to sleep (which breastfeeding always achieves).  Tricky for breastfeeding mums to do pick up put down because the moment I pick him up in the night, his expectation is that a feed is coming.  DH has tried a couple of times but got very frustrated and to be honest I have some sympathy because I think the early stages of pick up put down are like cry it out  with intervention.  And night wakings are so tricky because you don't want to starve your child if he is really hungry.  I have been trying to make sure I feed for a short as time as possible and only from one side so as not to get into the  habit of delivering the calories at night.

To be honest, I don't think there is much point worrying about what we are doing wrong.  Some babies are just better sleepers than others and we have to cope with it as best we can, though I wish Daniel could sleep better for his own sake.  I am a lousy sleeper (which makes it worse as it takes me an age to settle after DS has gone back down) so he probably gets it from me.

Freddie

[crazycanuck]

Hey There,

I feel your pain and frustration......I'm burning too many calories just trying to rack my brain around why why why!!!  My DS was sleeping through the night and is now waking again, just once, and hungry cause he's taking a full feed!!  He's a monster, as one lady alreayd noted, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!!!!  I will be trying to right before his nap, give him just an extra couple of ounces (not bf anymore)and she says it won't make them a snacker since he's still going down awake and falling asleep on his own, this is the only way I can think to get the extra calories into him!!!  They say if they don't take a full feed they aren't hungry and if they are waking at the same time every night they are probably habitual wakers........they say.  Well, I'm doing everything as it should be and my DS still wakes........so as another lady said, all babies are different and some are just better sleepers.  One method I saw was kindoff a beat them too it method.  If they are waking at 3 gradually go in earlier and earlier on your own before they wake and feed them then, the goal being to get them brought back to the Dream Feed time.  I'm going to start to try a dream feed.  I don't know how my son could possible be hungry still, in a 24hr period he is taking in like 37oz!!!!  Heis almost 15weeks and is about 16lbs.

Hang in there ladies and remember, it will come......hopefully just for a few weeks even, before the teething starts!!!!

[FreddieEden]

Well, after all that, he slept from 6.45 to 6.30 last night, for the first time ever.  I didn't do anything differently and he only had four feeds during the day!  He'll just do what he wants to do.  Looks like Logan is pretty much the same age as Daniel.  Daniel was born on 22 August.

Freddie