Karin,
All I can do, too, is offer words of encouragement. Up until last week, I would never have thought that I could wean my DS off AES. He was also up all hours of the night and napped incredibly poorly, if at all. First things were that we had an ear infection diagnosed and got him on some antibiotics. Apart from that, here's what worked for us:
1. Having a consistent place for him to sleep in and wake in (no more falling asleep on Mum so that she could soothe him through the 45 minute hump)
2. Having a routine pre-nap and pre-bedtime.
I got these two under my belt, without worrying about the nursing to sleep.
Secondly, DS, too, discovered his thumb. WHAT A BLESSING. I encouraged it at every opportunity and woke stunned in the middle of the night one night to hear him slurping away. Night wakings, which used to be nursed back to sleep, have dropped from maybe 5 or 6 to 2.
I've also followed Weissbluth's advice of bringing DS' bedtime forward. Even though he's only 3.5 months, he's routined at 6pm and asleep by 6.30pm most nights. True, he wakes between 6am and 6.30am, but he did this regardless of what time he went to sleep before, and what time he ate during the night.
DS has had a cold (along with me) the past few days, but two nights ago he slept from 6.15pm till 2.30am, ate, then slept till 6.30am. Last night was out of the ordinary -- he went down for a nap at 3.45pm, slept till 2.30am, ate, then slept till 6am. (I'm not advocating this; I just didn't have the heart to wake my sniffly LO). Anyway, these could well be influenced by him being sick, and not the cold.
My other major success is that once I realized the thumb-sucking was self-soothing, I began to think of ways to encourage that instead of suckling to sleep. One day I missed his tired cues, and by the time we reached the room, I was walking him around and pat/sshing to calm him. He'd worked his way out of his swaddle, so I lay him down on the bed to reswaddle him. Because he was so tired and worked up, he immediately found his thumb, started sucking, and dozed off. I was flabbergasted. My boob was just sitting there, feeling all abandoned.
The next nap I left my shirt done up, again walked him around the room a little, laid him down on the pretext of reswaddling him, even though it was perfectly fine, and helped him find his thumb. Bingo.
We've now had two full days of nap and bedtimes where he hasn't nursed to sleep. Considering that he's taking five 45 minute naps a day, this is a major achievement! It could be a phase; it could be related to the cold. But knowing the strength of his habit prior to this development, I can only hope that this is a major behavioural change.
The only other thing I would say is that I also noticed an element of dissatisfaction on his part with nursing to sleep prior to the thumb preference. On occasion he would pop off, and look up at me wide-eyed as if to say "what now?" I think perhaps that some babies are ready to transition away from nursing to sleep, and thank goodness that my DS has taken the change so readily. I was petrified of training him out of it.
Now that I've been able to insert an "A" into the "AES," we're working on bringing the feeding out of the bedroom and completely disassociating it with sleep. Matters are complicated by his being sick (I want to make sure he's hydrated and getting my antibodies), plus his current inability to stay awake longer than 1.5 hours before the dreaded 45 minute nap. It works out that he's getting fed roughly every 2-2.5 hours during the day (about 6 times) and maybe twice at night.
But "baby" steps. AES to EAS has been a major achievement. If it continues, then I'll figure out my EASY routine and how to stretch it out. But needless to say, the fact that I'm able to type such a long post is indicative of the glorious "Y" time I'm finally able to get!
Best of luck to you. Keep us posted!
Katriona
DS Theron Michael 09.12.05
Textbook with a little bit of Touchy (we think!)
