Night wakings and breastfeeds

[LisbonMom]

My 12 week-old is waking a lot at night. We've been handling nap issues as well, but during the night she used to go six hours regularly, even 7 and 8 hour stretches and now, consistently, wakes every 3 hours, if not sooner. She goes to bed at 7:00 (with a consistent bedtime routine), wakes at 10:30, 1:30, 4:00, 5:30 and then I can hardly get her to fall back to sleep. At 7:00 (or 8:00, depending on whether she sleeps again) I get her up for the day. This, when she used to just wake for the 4:00 feed, then sleep till 8:00. She's had this new pattern for over a week
When she wakes I feed her, she takes half to a full feed.
At first I thought it was a growth spurt, but after so many days, I'm afraid it's settling into a pattern. Also, I've posted about transitioning to a 4-hour EASY but I don't really think she's there yet.

I don't really know how to handle his. Here are my questions:

1. I'm afraid that if I try to calm her without feeding her through the night she'll go hungry, but if I do feed her at one of the wakings won't that confuse her at all

2. How on earth can I get her to sleep between 4 and 7/8 ? I've tried shh/pat and although she does stop crying she doesn't fall asleep, no matter how long I keep patting. I've also tried pressure on her body to prevent the jolt but I can't get her past the 20 min. mark, she wakes.

3. Why is she waking so often, and is there anything I can do during the day to help her sleep better?

Some info that might help you: she doesn't use a paci (she sucks on her thumb) and we don't swaddle (I don't even know how to say it in my language ..., should I introduce this now ). Dh is of no help, poor guy, because he cannot stand to hear her cry.

Any advice welcome. I'm really tired from the lack of sleep, plus running around with big sister, etc.
TIA,

Sara

[CharlotteandCharlie]

Hi there.  I have a question/comment that is merely a drop in the bucket to your problems but when your lo has stopped crying while you are patting and she won't sleep would it work if you just tucked her in and left the room?  At least half the time I can calm my dd down and she is so relaxed she just stares off kind of glassy eyed.  I know she is so close and think that maybe my patting is keeping her awake.  If find even if I have resorted to rocking her sometimes if I just lay her down in her crib she will close her eyes. We have a cheap tiny little spy camera so I can tuck her in and walk out.  I watch her from our bedroom TV and by the time I am in my room her eyes are closed. 

My night times and naps times are a nightmare but I just wanted to suggest that perhaps if she is not crying and calm you can leave her to take the next step by herself.

Just a thought

[LisbonMom]

Nice suggestion but ... it doesn't work, I've tried it. A minute after I stop patting she starts fussing and then crying (I tried to see if after the fuss she would settle herself, but no way). As of now I only resort to that to keep her from crying, then I switch to pressure because that usually helps (at least at nap time it does).
One thing I forgot to add, and it makes it all even more confusing, is she goes to sleep independently, sucking away on her thumb, so why doesn't she do this in the night?
Also, she is now waking up for the dreamfeed, which she didn't do before. Should I start it a little earlier, before she wakes up? Is it really worth giving it, if she doesn't wake for it ?

[Katet]

Can you post your day routine, as from my experience that 4am to dawn sleep is the one that is MOST influenced by what happens in the day & I am thinking (based on my ds's sleep problems) that she is getting a bit too much day sleep.