abbyrose,
Is your lo on an EASY routine? The bedtime routine should generally fall into place with a good EASY - go to the EASY Forum for samples of routines appropriate for your lo's age.
Generally, your lo should be on about 4.5-5 hour routine, with 2 naps totalling about 2.5-3 hours. A 7.00-7.30 bedtime is appropriate, although if your dd starts her day later than about 7am you may want to push her bedtime a little later to compensate.
You really need to avoid nursing or rocking her to sleep as these have become props (as evidenced by her unwillingness to go to sleep until 10pm).
I would suggest that you decide on an appropriate bedtime and stick to it, and work out a winddown routine for the evening after dinner and repeat it every night so she gets her sleepy cues from that routine, and not the breast or rocking. For example, a lot of parents start the winddown with a bath, followed by dressing, a bottle or bf, a quiet story and maybe a song. Most of this is done in dim light too. All stuff which is conducive to sleep.
Of course, if your lo is used to being nursed or rocked to sleep, you WILL have protests, so you will need to try pat/shh right from the start. There are plenty of posts on how to do this, but basically you need to put her in the cot once you've done the winddown. I lie my lo on his side, it seems to work best for him. Once in the cot, you need to pat her on her back and shhhh at the same time, helping her to relax. Once relaxed, step away from her cot, returning only to pat/shh again if she gets fussy. If you can get her to relax in the cot on her own, she should take about 20 minutes to go to sleep, so be prepared to commit this time in her room. Do not leave the room until she's asleep, but equally do NOT Pat/shh her to sleep. The key is helping her do it herself.
If this fails, you may need to go to pu/pd but I am no expert on that so won't comment. Basically you need to change your lo's sleep associations and teach her to settle on her own.
HTH!
