Any words of wisdom appreciated...!

[~BeckyD~]

Sorry this is gonna be long...but PLEASE help us!
Jack has been an ok night sleeper, from birth he generally woke for 1 feed a night and went straight back to sleep-heaven, we were so liucky.
But it seems that absolutely EVERYTHING disturbs his sleep:
Having a cold(resolved with humidifier)
Learning to roll
Learning to sit up
First 2 bottom teeth
(Now)-Middle top teeth beginning to appear
(Now)-Learnt to crawl on tummy

Because of all these things we have never really had the opportunity to 'sleep train' using pupd/pat shush effectively because he always had 'something' making him uncomfortable, so we started to rock him to sleep, or until drowsy, then out into his cot and patted until he is asleep.
Basically this is where we are now:
6pm:-Bath
6.30:-bottle (9oz)
6.45-7:-bed(held/rocked/patted until drowsy and then into cot and continue patting, if he cries we try pu/pd but we are sooo tired from the last months worth of 2-4x wakings, generally resort to rocking)
12-4am:- wakes crying between 2-4 times(repeat the above to get back off to sleep)
6-7:- wake
7.30:-6 oz bottle
8.00:-fruit and toast/cereal
8.30-9:-nap
10-10.30:-wake
11.30:-6oz bottle
12pm:-3-4 tablespoons meat/veg and yoghurt
1-1.30:-nap
2-2.30:-wake
3.30:-6oz bottle
4.00:-3-4 tablespoons meat/veg and yoghurt
6pm:-bedtime routine as above.

So basically I really need to know where to start. I guess really I know I am gonna have to try pupd properly and commit to it as he is crying because he cannot get himself back off to sleep without us there?? Or should I try more to determine and try to prevent the reason for the waking??
For the past 4 weeks it has been like this and each night we put the reason for the waking down to too cold/too hot, teeth, he has started to crawl on his tummy etc and just told ourselves we need to just ride it out, but now I am desperate for night of decent sleep! I have tried feeding him to get him back off in case of growth spurt, but although he takes a feed it does nothing to cut the amount of time he is awake for. Usually he will wake 3 times between 12-4 and 1 of those times he will be awake for an hour or more. As soon as we go in and pick him up he stops crying, but is wide awake, and if we put him back into his cot wide awake he will cry.But as I have said we are too tired to do much else but sit and rock him!But I should add, he is very rarely actually rocked until he is sound asleep and then placed gently into his cot, trying not to wake him. We will rock until he is sleepy and then pat him while he tosses and turns himself to sleep in his cot.
I also just need to add that even though I KNOW I SHOULD NOT COMPARE THEM,Ellie-May just slept! Nothing really disturbed her like this, not teething, or milestones or anything. I know that was incredibly lucky and we were spoilt with that, but now I just don't know how to handle this anymore. Even though DH is sharing the wakings with me and we are dealing with them alternately, I really can't cope with this anymore! I find myself getting more and more irritable and angry with Jack with every night waking, and I can't stand feeling like this-it really scares me.
Thanks for reading if you have got this far, and PLEASE offer any wisdom you can.
xx

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi there

Well, I know a lot of bubs are really disturbed by milestones and illness when it comes to night wakings.  My DS definitely struggles with developmental awakenings.

If it were me, I would start with putting DS to bed at the beginning of the night more and more awake.  He needs to learn to be able to fall asleep without you there to bring him to drowsy.  It will take some time, and it will mean that you still need to get up to developmental disturbances, but I think the beginning of the night holds the key.  Jack will need help by pat/shh or pu/pd if necessary to help him learn the new sleeping technique. 

I wish I could give you the quick and easy answer but unfortunately there isn't one.  It will take time but Jack WILL get there and eventually you will have 2 good sleepers on your hands.

Good luck
Jo

[Sylvia.]

why don't you just try shh/pat first, you need to give anything you do time, be consistant that is the key, i never did pu/pd and shh/pat worked for us, what we did was hold dd down as much as possible if she tried to get up, we were like an octopus, please keep asking questions i found this and reading heaps of posts really helped and of course the books

[Ciaran's mommy]

I don't have much words of wisdom, because my little guy is the same (maybe it's a boy thing??) but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and I know just how you feel with the anger and the frustration.

Is it possible to hand him over to your mom or someone you trust just for a night? I did this with my little terror and it was amazing how much perspective I regained after a decent night's sleep. He also started sleeping better because I think I was less stressed and he picked up on it and relaxed a bit himself.

Hang in there! I know just how you feel.....(sometimes it helps...sometimes it doesn't.....hopefully it helps.... )

[~Faye~]

I have just been through the same thing too. We are now back on track but it was just by persevering with pat/shh I'm afraid to say.
I know its easy to say but it does end eventually. I got through it by remembering its just a phase
 What do you do to get Jack down for his nap? I found I had to start with teaching Shay to learn to fall asleep on his own with naps, then we moved on to night times. Do you have the time or opportunity to just sit in his room with him awake when you want him to nap until he falls asleep then when he has learnt that it may work also for nights. I found holding Shay's hand helped as he just wanted the comfort of skin.
Unfortunately it takes time and consistency, wouldn't it be great if there was a magic spell!!
I hope this helps
Regards
Faye

[~BeckyD~]

Thanks for your wonderful replies.
Well  last night was not too bad really, he woke twice and both times was picked up until calm and then placed into cot and patted or we placed a hand on his back until asleep. Both tiimes he was awake for barely 5 mins each
I have also now read the post '10 reasons your baby wakes, other than hunger', and really think this may be seperation anxiety. Reading that post helped me to gain perspective on the fact that it will be just a phase. I know it won't be forever and am working hard to remember that when I can barely open my eyes to walk to his bedroom in the middle of the night!
I think from here we will just persevere with pu/pd and pat/shush as we are doing as seems to be getting better slowly.(Although I do feel as though I may have tempted fate by writing that....maybe need to update this tomorrow with tonights story! )
Thanks again for your help.
 

[Katet]

I know how you feel, some part of me thinks boys are soooo much harder when it comes to some of these things, I know ds#2, who I am in much the same boat as you with (not at pulling up stage) is SUCH a MALE... he is DYING when he has a cold or teeth or something else...I am feelign good today as both naps have only taken 1/2 hour to get him down... wow I never thought I would be excited by 1/2hour, but for the last few weeks it has been at least an hour unless I accidental parent & trust me I've done a fair bit of that.
Hang in there & just rememeber CONSISTENCY, PERSISTANCE & PATIENCE (ha on the last- as if we have that  ) will come through in the end... I have to remind myself of that regularly.