4 m/o just smiles and coos and stares at me in crib for an hour. What do I do?

[Violet Crumble]

It's now been three days of EASY since he regressed and we had to start over.  Occasionally when it's his nap time I wait for him to yawn and rub his eyes- then I put him in the crib and shush pat him but he lifts his head and smiles and stares at me and coos and doesn't want to sleep.  I stopped shush patting and just lay down in the bed and closed my eyes for forty minutes thinking that maybe if he saw me do this he would go to sleep but he didn't.  What does one do in this situation?

[Mommy in Moose Jaw]

I'll be interested in an answer.  We have been on EASY for a long time but need some tweaking right now for overtired and dd will just lay in her crib contentedly and just NOT sleep.  Her total awake time during the day is pushing 11 hours so I know it's getting too long but I CAN'T make her sleep anymore and she's waking up early from naps.  Vicious cycle of overtired but can't seem to break it right now.  There's no pu/pd as she is calm, jsut not sleeping!

[Kimberly®]

if she's not fussing or crying, leave her be she may not be sleeping but she is resting and that in itself will recharge her. If she's that calm then she'll sleep when she's ready. We used to have this problem with our LO all the time the more you push them to sleep the worse off you'll be, step back and let them settle themselves

HTH

[*Natasha*]

Could it be because he isn't quiet ready for a nap then? What is his awake time, sleep lengths and how many he is having?

[brightside]

Sounds to me like he isn't ready for a nap just yet. At that age, they should be able to have an awake time of about 2 hours. Try to avoid eye-contact too as they will make him want to play with you.

[Mommy in Moose Jaw]

In my case, I should clarify:  the smiling and engaging comes AFTER the 25-30 minute nap following a nearly 4 hour awake time.  She is teething right now and sleep just goes out the window but I try to keep consistent with responses and not 'allowing' 30 minute naps.  She gets put down at the normal times, just won't sleep right now!  Last night she would fall asleep until 9pm (was in bed 6:30 due to poor day sleep).  I think it's all teething but was just curious if there's other input.

[Violet Crumble]

To clarify, yesterday went like this:

7:15 AM awake & nurse until 7:45
7:45-8:30 played/activity
8:30-8:50 nursed
9:00 - 10:15 in crib, starring at me and smiling & cooing
10:15 pu/pd/shushpat 20 minutes
10:35-11:00 sleep
11:00 -11:42 nursed
11:42-12:35 activity

Harlan did end up taking a nap for an hour and a half in the afternoon, and then a cat nap for 22 minutes at 5:45, but last night was the worst ever with pu/pd/shushpat for 2.5 hours!  I gave up and brought him into the livingroom and nursed him for five minutes and he fell dead asleep next to me on the couch, then I moved him to his crib.  I'm feeling ready to give up today.  I don't understand why I've been donig this for ten days now and some days it seems like it's working and some days it seems impossible.  Also, Harlan really arches his back and screams when I try to put him on his side.  I have to pat his shoulder while he lies on his back mostly.

[Brandonsmom]

I had this problem with Brandon too. It started happening and I changed my routine into a longer awake time and that has really made a difference. I also darkened his room as much as possible for his daytime naps. That helped him understand that he needed to get ready for sleep and not play. Before he would lay in his crib and just stare at his ceiling fan or block letters on his wall and that would stimulate him enough to where he didn't want to go to sleep. Then I ended up with one overtired baby! So I would suggest extending wake time and darkening the room during daylight. I hope this helps you. Good Luck!

[Violet Crumble]

Thanks for the ideas, but I always start putting him down when he yawns/rubs his eyes, and if I wait much past this then won't he get overtired and be even more difficult to get to sleep?

[mlogan]

hi,

wish i could help you out, but I am having the exact same problem.   i see that my daughter (4.5 months)  is getting sleepy, we have our wind down routine and she calms down, relaxes on my shoulder.  I put her in her crib with her eyes still open, but drowsy.  I try to avoid eye contact, have the room as dark as I can, but she just plays with my hand, smiles if i stand there and try to maintain shhh/pat.  So for the last week I have put her in her crib and just left the room leaving her to babble. She seems semi-content with this. However, she never settles herself to sleep though and in about 20 minutes cries, so i pick her up...the only problem is by this time she is so overtired that she becomes hysterical, crying, rubbing her face in my shoulder and i have to stand there shhh/patting for anywhere between 20-40minutes...where she will usually fall asleep on my shoulder.  So then i put her in her crib again...and she'll sleep for maybe another 15 minutes.  Needless to say she has been very cranky the last couple of days. Normally she is a good sleeper at night...but this too is regressing.  As far as i know she isn't gassy, teething......I have no ideas on how to help her fall asleep/stay asleep on her own during the day.  The only way i can get her to nap is let her fall asleep on my shoulder and then put her in crib.  Even then she only stays asleep for maybe 20minutes at a time.

[Mommy in Moose Jaw]

I tried this recently and it seemed to work:  Instead of waiting for a cry, go in every 5 minutes to reassure to go to sleep and re-do winddown if necessary.  I found if I let her do it on her own, she could last up to 1 hour even though she seemed 'content'.  Also, even waiting an extra 10-15 minutes may be all the extra awake time your lo needs to be tired enough to fall asleep and not play in the crib?  Just some thoughts....

[AmyT]

I found with my little one that the more I intervened and tried to 'put her to sleep' the worse it was because like your little one just the sight of me was enough to convince her it was play time and she would coo and smile and wriggle.. Now when I see she tired I swaddle her   (legs only) and put her in her crib with her pacifier and leave the room or move out of her view. She has a soft toy attatched to side of her crib that she obsessed with (seriously best buy). She will play with that for a while and then get really tired and go to sleeep/ Some days it will take longer than others. Usually she spits her paci out to shout a bit or coo and then starts fussing, I just pop back in to her room, give her back the paci and leave again,  I keep doing this unti l she drops off. I dont speak to her, fuss her or anything just keep popping her paci back in her mouth when she starts to fuss. Sometimes I do this once sometimes five to six times but always after about 20 minutes she falls asleep. I think my lo could sense me in the room so perhaps your lo knows your there evene whern you are lying on the bed with eyes shut.

I found this better for me too as I don't know about other mothers but I found ssh/pat really really frustrating when it didnt work and I think she sensed my annoyance and would get wound up. I feel this way she has learned how to fall asleep rather than me learn how to 'put her to sleep'.