How to stop night feedings?

[aj's mom]

DD is 4 1/2 months old and at her 4 month checkup, my pediatrician suggested that at her weight (15 lbs), she no longer needs a middle of the night feed and to cut it out because at this point it is out of habit, not hunger.  She suggested that I let her CIO, which I actually am trying but I am not consistent with it and I hate to hear her cry.  Here is how I am doing CIO now... when she cries at night, I wait a few minutes before going in - sometimes she will go back to sleep, but if not, then I go in, pat/shhhh her but that makes her even more mad, so I have resorted to 'accitental parenting' (oops) and am giving her a paci.  That usually calms her down and I stay with her until she is half asleep, usually a couple of minutes.  She does wake up 20 to 30 minutes later for the next few hours, usually in between the hours of 12am and 3am.  For some reason after 3, she can go until 6:30ish.  I am basically getting up 5 to 6 times a night to plug her paci back in, each time letting her go a few more minutes but never more than 10 minutes.

She is in transition to the 4 hour easy - we're halfway through and she does pretty well with her daytime routine, and putting her down at night.  I dreamfeed her at 10:30ish and she goes right back down.

I used to dreamfeed, and then she would wake at 2 and 5 and I would feed her, but then I decided that was going to become a habit (as suggested the ped) so I went to her plan but it has been 3 nights that I have not fed her at night but I am not sure if it is working - if anythign she is waking up several more times a night for me to plug her paci back in. 

I feed her on one side - I always have - for each feeding.  Should I start to give both sides?

What are your suggestions for eliminating the middle of the night feedings so she won't wake and need a paci? 

[teezee]

has your lo always woken this much at night?  is it just for the feedings or is it an underlying problem - gas? tumyy aches? i know when my lo was waking upteen times a night it was always a belly problem...the foods she ate, me giving advil for teething instead on tylenol...after those were out of the way (happened more than once too.) she started only waking for the feedings...that is easy to take care (for themost part) once you get the other out of the way if there is a problem there. i thought the paci had become a prop for my dd when she was going thru all of the belly problems as it seemed she needed it to go back to sleep - when in reality she was uncomfortable and couldn't get through the light sleep of her sleep cycle because of it - so i would need to go in and comfort/settle her. after things were better with her belly - she didn't wake for the paci anymore (or at least that's what i thought she was doing at the time)

i definately don't recommend CIO to anyway, as it breaks trust with lo and parent...always, go to your lo when they cry - not just whining, settling...if it is an all out cry they do it b/c they need you - whether it's help falling asleep, sore belly, whatever - u are there to help support your lo, and if she needs to be taught how to sleep then that needs to be done (although hard and trying well worth the sleep training).

if you were feeding your lo at the night wakings than stopping those cold turkey imho is not an option.  you have to wean them slowly.  she is used to getting all of her calories at that time and to just take it away all at once is not fair to your lo as this will just make her wake more often, thus crying more, getting more hungry from all the crying, and then being overtired...too much drama for me! i will post a link for you to show you how to wean night feedings whether formula fed or bf - it worked like a charm for us. as she starts slowly weaning off the night feedings she will start naturally eating more during the day. i dropped the df i did drop cold turkey - may work(ed) for you may not - but the other feedings i cut out over the period of about a month. i actually did the night feedings first - when i realized she was still waking but not hungry i cut out the df one day and she slept...and slept...and slept...scared me when i first woke at 7am and ran running to her room...

hope things improve! here's the link! i will be gone for a little while but the other mods on here are wonderful and will help support you if you need anything in the meantime!

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=46907.0

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi there

I just wanted to jump on and second the advice given by Tawnya.

My doctor also suggested that I leave my son to CIO/CC - I did not try because I am not comfortable with what I believe to be the risks associated with leaving your child to cry (like breaking the trust).  I think doctor's suggest CC or CIO because they don't know any other way, or because it's what they used (if they are parent's) and it worked for them.  Don't feel obligated to follow your doctor's suggestion, and don't feel obligated to stop the night feed just because your doctor told you that your child doesn't need it.

You are DD's mother and YOU are the best person to decide whether she needs a feed during the night or not.  IMHO the size of the child is not the only factor that you need to consider.  So many babies feed during the night right up to a year.  Your DD is still very young and if she is continually waking shortly after she has been resettled like you suggest then I believe there is a very good chance that she IS hungry.

The other thing that could be the problem is the paci.  If she is waking because the paci is falling out then that is a prop and you will need to decide whether you are willing to keep plugging her in to get her back to sleep or whether you wean the prop. 

That said I think Tawnya's advice of trying the gradual reduction of night feeds is a great suggestion and if I were you I would probably try that first and see how it goes.

Good luck and we will be here if you need us
Jo

[teezee]

not that i am anti dr or anything...but at times i think they do just as much harm as good..some of them anyway.  i do agree with jo also, you know your lo - not anyone else - a dr is getting his/her info from a textbook not by spending time with your lo to actually know what her NEEDS are.

[aj's mom]

Thanks so much for the responses.  I think I am going to go ahead and just feed her again - it really wasn't too bad - one dreamfeed and two middle of the night feeds - quick and easy and she would fall right back alseep in no time.  She actually would eat when fed - not just use me as a prop to fall back asleep.

I feel horrible for having not fed her these past couple of nights because you are probably right - she WAS hungry.  Her sleep has been pretty bad these past few nights - waking constantly... I just hope I didn't break her 'trust' or wreck anything in that sense with CIO for the few days I did it.

I hope that we get back on track - back to the way she used to feed at night and then I will try to follow the plan that teezee recommended.

Since we just started the EASY plan about a month ago - we started with the 3 hr easy when before then she was fed on demand or basically every two hours, if that, and now I am transitioning her to the 4 hr easy, I just want to make sure she is getting enough calories during the day but it is hard to know since I am bfing and I have no idea how many ounces she is taking.

Thanks!

[Lan]

At her weight  I would start to offer both sides at each feed (except the 2 am feed!) - let her empty one side, then offer the other. Next feed start with the second side.  That would be an easier way to get more calories into her, especially if she is hungry in the night. After about 2-3 days of double sided feeding, I would try and cut out the 2am feed. You could do this by slowly cutting down the time she feeds in the night, until she is feeding for less than 5 minutes, then you could try using a dummy instead. Try the dummy for a week and if she's still waking ,then its time to try pat/shh or PU/PD. At you daughter's weight, I'd say she should be able to go for one 6-hour stretch without a feed at night.

[teezee]

just wondering how things have been going for you guys?? ...hope you have had some success!!