I feel like such an awful mom; I have been having such a hard time since day one and now, nine months later I'm still really, really struggling. My little guy is 9 months and started off extremely colicky, then we discovered he had reflux, we found a good medication and he got RSV. Well, that took us until six months. Since then, we've been on vacation, he got his first two teeth, and the saga continues to today. I feel like I just can't do it anymore, I'm so tired and just worn out. I feel terrible and don't really know what to do and how to fix things.
We've always tried to follow the BW routine, however, with the reflux he was eating nonstop in the beginning. We got on a really good 4 hour EASY and then started solids and the snacking begun I feel like. He's eating solids at approximately 7:30, 12:00, and 5:30 each day. I'm still breastfeeding and it seems like the only time he'll do it is before he goes down for naps; I know this isn't ideal-but, he's just too busy at other times to do it.
So, I usually try to nurse when he wakes (between 6:30 and 7:00 a.m.) at nap time (around 9:00 a.m.) at nap time again (around 1 or 2:00 p.m.), bedtime (7:00 p.m.) and a dream feed that we're cutting out by moving it up 15 minutes every three days; right now we're at 9:00 p.m. The eating is going okay; however, he's recently gone on a pureed food strike. He'll only eat things he can feed himself. So, I wonder if his actual solid intake has gone down since the pureed food actually has more 'actual' food pureed together? I've always had more than enough milk; so, I don't think that's an issue? How much and what should I feed him if it's finger foods? How should his schedule look now? Should I try and nurse before meals? Uggg-so confused.
Okay, sleeping. He's NEVER slept through the night. Well, one day he slept from his dreamfeed until 4:00 a.m.; that's as long as he goes. Lately he wakes at 11, 12:30, 1:30, 3, 4:30, and around 7 for the morning. I'm exhausted. If my husband picks him up he screams and won't go back down for an hour or longer, however, if I pick him up and nurse him he'll go right back down.
I know, it's a terrible, terrible prop. Should he be able to go 12 hours now? Does he need the nourishment? He is 21 lbs. so I'm guessing he really doesn't, but I don't know. He goes down at bedtime on his own, awake. He'll wiggle, talk to himself, roll over and sleep. So, why is it different during night wakings? Since he's been nursing down for naps he won't go down for naps unless he nurses, but won't nurse unless he's going to sleep-is this common? Any advice as far as the sleeping, eating goes?
He's an extremely spirited little guy; he's started throwing tantrums if he doesn't get his way. He always has an opinion on everything it seems. I can't believe such a little guy can be so busy, so demanding, and so opinionated. He's also very outgoing and happy (well, either very happy or very mad
). He loves people and is very friendly. I'm a pretty high strung mom, I'll admit it. His crying really gets to me and I wish we could get a good schedule going. I'd be sooo happy to eat at the same time, nap at the same time, nurse at the same time everyday but it seems like it's all chaos. Today he woke at 6:30 and was pulling at my shirt to nurse at 8:30, and then napped but only for 45 minutes-this continued through the day.
We tried PU/PD over the weekend, however, when I PU he screams and screams and won't calm down. He fights being held so I lay him down when he screams and screams more. Should I keep PUing? Should I just stay in the room next to him while he screams? Oh, I feel so awful-is there any way I can turn this around or am I too late? I feel like our lives are sooo chaotic, sleep is terrible, and I feel like such an awful mom. Please help, any advice you have would be wonderful-we need all kinds of help. If I can provide any other info just let me know.
Thanks again.
