Question for people with more than one child.

[Stephanie75]

I'm new to these boards so I don't know if this is the place to put this if it is not I'm sorry..
My question is what did you do to try and teach your baby to sleep when you have another child in the house. I have a 4 year old who has Autism so it makes it especially worse, I can't tell him to go and play, his level of understanding is probaby that of a year old. So when I am with my 3 month old trying to settle him back down, he wakes up after only 20 minutes and is impossible to get back down, I am trying the pat and sh method,but its hard to settle him down when my oldest is running in and yelling and jumping on the crib and making all sorts of noise that just makes it harder and really wakes up my 3 month old. I really need him to sleep I am exhausted and I get no time at all with my oldest or to even get anything done at all, I never have any time. As soon as he's down he's up again. So I was just wondering what people did to help thier baby learn to sleep while the oldest is making that job really hard by making all sorts of noise and really waking them up.

[deb]

Well...... FWIW, does NOT have autism (although she has sensory issues), and the ENTIRE SUMMER basically involved me trying and failing to get Natalie to sleep and finally giving up and putting her in the carrier or the sling just so I could get something done besides sitting in her room trying to get her to sleep with Josie running down the hall, sticking her head in the door, and shouting BOO at the top of her lungs. 

As a result, I've never gotten around to breaking the nurse-to-sleep association - sometimes I still have to, others I don't, depending on whether she's sick or teething or (Heaven forbid! ) hungry. On the other hand, doing that, I'm guaranteed about 5 minutes to put her down, and Josie is now OK with occupying herself that long, instead of endless 30-minute sob sessions with me AND the baby both in tears. 

Do what you need to do to get by. You can try looking for the post "How I Survived the First Three Months" by Theosmom - anyone remember what forum that's on? - I found that it helped me a LOT to stop beating myself up about the stuff I tried that didn't work and the stuff I never got around to trying.

You might also want to try hiring a neighborhood teen for a break one or two afternoons - if not with your oldest DS, then with the baby, to just give you some relative down time. During the day, maybe you can find someone in your neighborhood who homeschools, who'd be at home during the day, for a regular break for yourself?

Good luck and hang in there!

[Jaime]

here's the post Deb is referring to:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=1993.0

as far as what to do with your older child... i found it most helpful to totally childproof & barricade a room close to us that she could stay in.  one of the entrances of the room went to the hall to the kids' rooms, and i put a baby gate there.  that way, she could look in on us - and even pitch a fit - without disturbing #2.  also took advantage of the fact that she loved baby dolls & had her put them to bed too - she is now a champ at pat/shh

and i agree with above - it would be well worth it to find someone who could spend some time with your older son - it can make all the difference in the world to your sanity.