Please Help me!!!! Baby with seizures that won't sleep!

[munch1]

I have a little girl that just turned one on 3/11 and she started having grand mal seizures on Christmas morning.  She is a normal, bright, happy little girl who is walking, talking, and rarely cries...she just doesn't like to sleep!  I kept a sleep diary for one week and she averages about 6 night wakings.  Most of the time I can pat her on her back to fall back to sleep or nurse her, but about twice a week she is awake for 1 - 4 hours at night.  During this time, I walk/dance aroung with her.  If I put her down she will cry.  Before she started having seizures, I tried the Ferber method (she has been a poor sleeper since 4 months of age).  I tried having her cry it out on 4 occasions, with going in to calm her every 15 minutes.  She didn't fall asleep in less than 1 1/2 hours of screaming.  I also have an 8 year old girl that actually missed school during that time since her sister kept her up all night, so considering my 8 year old and now the seizures, I don't feel that crying it out is really an option.  We have a strict bedtime routine of a bath at 7:30, then I nurse her and rock and she's usually asleep between 8 and 9pm.  I hold her until I go to sleep around 9, then she wakes around 10, 12, 1, etc.  She wakes for the day around 7 am and is happy and alert.  She'll then nap around 10 am for 1 - 2 hours as long as I'm holding her, if I don't she's awake in 15 minutes.  She'll then nap for another hour around 3pm.  Since her seizures are triggered by sleep deprivation, I am doing everything I can to help her get as much sleep as possible.  She is on medication, but continues to have seizures about once a week, after 2 bad nights of sleep in a row.  Please help!!!! I'm starting to lose my mind!!!

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi there

Gosh, you are having a rough time aren't you.  OK, I've got some suggestions for you.

The first thing I want to address is the previous occasions when you have tried CIO (Ferber method) with your DD.  Have you read Tracy's books, The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer or Baby Whisperer solves all your problems?  If you have, you will know that Tracy does not recommend CIO or CC because she believes that it breaks the bonds of trust between the parent and the child.  So, because you have tried CIO, you will need to work with your DD to rebuild the trust.  Tracy details in her books the process that a parent would need to take to start rebuilding that trust and I would recommend that you have a look at the books and read through those sections.

Basically though you would need to spend time with your DD while she falls asleep, and perhaps spend a few nights in her room with her, while she learns that you are there for her and will respond to her if she needs you during the night.

The other things that stand out to me are the fact that you are rocking/holding your DD to sleep for naps and at the beginning of the night.  What is happening is your DD comes into a light sleep phase and is confused because while you were there last time she "looked", now you are gone.  And she doesn't know how to fall asleep without you so she calls out to you to come and help her fall asleep again.  So you will need to look at helping your DD learn to fall asleep independently.  Again Tracy's books have some fantastic suggestions on how to do that.  For your DD's age, Tracy details a process called Pick Up/Put Down (or in fact, just put down for a 1 year old).  Again I really recommend you read through the books, or the sleep interview posted at the top of a couple of the sleep boards, to get Tracy's detailed instructions on how do use Put Down to help your DD learn how to fall asleep independently.

The only other thing I wanted to mention (in case I haven't already set you enough work  ) is that your DD's bedtime seems quite late.  My DS (who is also just 1) and many other babies I know around his age, are going to sleep at about 7 or 7.30pm.  While it might seem counter-intuitive, an earlier bedtime means for a better, longer sleep for babies because they sleep better when they are less OVERtired at bedtime. 

Munch1, this will not be an easy task and will take you some time to work through these issues BUT if you determine your new strategies, based around Tracy's suggestions, and remain CONSISTENT with the new way of doing things (as consistent as you have been with the old way of rocking/holding to sleep) your DD will learn the new way and slowly will come to need you less during the night as she learns to put her self to sleep, and back to sleep during the night.  We are here to help you as much as we can so feel free to post any futher questions you have.

Good luck
Jo