Confused!

[stephanie 78]

Hey everyone,
I wonder if anyone can help? My DD who is 21 weeks old has never been the greatest sleeper day or night. Today I decided to attempt PuPd which for the first nap worked well (10 mins to get to sleep) slept for 32 mins (which is normal for her) 20 mins of PuPd and slept for another 32 mins! With the pick up - do you do it if she is whingeing but not crying? or do you just wait it out? Also, before today I have been doing the ultimate Accidental parenting but i am not sure how to break this.  Before her naps I was putting her on the breast as this is the only way I can guaruntee she gets enough milk during the day. I weaned her at 16 weeks as I thought when I return to work her sleep pattern would have improved (at night) beacuse she would have a fuller tummy and would in theory sleep for longer periods. This hasnt made the blindest bit of difference. BUT here is the problem:- DD has milk via breast on waking which is usually 6am and she then refuses to eat breakfast until around 9am (as she has a nap at 8am but has a bf to go to sleep for 32 mins!!!!!.) she then has another bf at around 11am and has another 32 min nap.
Typical day:-

6am - Bf (plays for 20 mins and then starts to get cross)
7am - get up washed and dressed
8am - bf for nap
830 ish - up to play
9 - 10 -  breakfast
11am -  bf then nap
1130 - ish up to play
1300 -  bf then nap
1330 - 1430 -  lunch
1400 ish -  play
1530 bf then nap for 32 mins
1600 play
1700 supper
1800 bath
1830 quiet time with mummy & daddy
1900 Bf then bed

I know it is not really a strict routine day but because of her irratic naps I have to follow her sleep windows.  The problem is she will not
Bf at any other times now. If I bf before a meal she will not eat the food. If I try after she refuses as she is full. Nights are not much better she usually wakes after 45 mins after going down and is easy to resettle with a rub on the back    then doesnt wake until 1130pm for DF. Then she is usually up anytime between 0130am and 330am for a full bf then sometimes 430am for half bf and then 6am for full bf.

I dont know how to structure feeds any better for both solids and bf. I live by the sea and take her out for lovely long walks to get fresh air and she has a door bouncer which she uses for 20 mins 3 times a day. She does loads of tummy time and differnet activities throughout the day.

To wind down I take her upstairs and we sit quietly for a few mins before bf.

I am at a loss.

Please help!!

[stephanie 78]

Thanks for your reply Stacy. 
 I have a few more questions that I hope you can help with.
Firstly, with pupd, I didnt BF beforehand today and she did go down, however, is it ok to combine it with shh/pat at the end or would that be a definate no no? I ask because when she had exhausted herself with the whingeing, she layed down but just needed that extra bit to help her off to sleep. It was successful as she slept for an extra 30 mins each time!!!

Also, you advised BFing every 4 hours, if I do this will she want to eat her meals? Im worried that she will not eat her meals and I will be back to square one again!! I.e Bf at 0600, 1000, 1400 and 1800. then meals at 0800, 1200 and 1600ish, isnt this the same as not eally being hungry at meal time? Sorry to sound a little dence but I want to get this right for Niamhs sake (and maybe mine as a good nights sleep is well over due)!!!!!!!!

 

[KellyC]

Hi

We used to combine PU/PD with pat/shush and now when I put Zander down I still lay a hand on his chest and sometimes talk to him until he's properly settled.  The important thing is that he's settling on his own in the crib and isn't needing the breastfeed to do this, that's quite an achievement!

At 21 weeks the most important part of your baby's diet is milk so if she's breastfeeding well at 4 hourly intervals but doesn't want to eat much in terms of solids then this is fine.  If you're worried about her not being full then breastmilk has more calories in it than most first weaning foods so it's going to work out better if she's filling up on milk.

HTH
Kelly x

[stephanie 78]

Thanks Kelly and Stacy for your replies 

Kelly:- I know that milk is the most important and calorific food source for Niamh, but prior to weaning, this just didnt seem to be enough for her. I was rigid with my regime then and she still awoke several times in the night. Maybe it was just her age though???

Stacy:- I totally appreciate you seeking further advice on my behalf. It will give me peace of mind (I hope). 
I know others succeed in this process and that we will get there eventually. I hope you dont mind but I see you guys as my mum!  I dont have a mum to question or to get advice from and we dont have a close support network nearby so we are trying to raise Niamh the best way we can with little family input. So THANK  YOU 

[tylersmommy]

Darn it, I just typed out a long reply and lost it! Grrr!

You've already gotten some great advice here. Once you get to a true 4 hr EASY, you'll probably find that her naps get longer and more consistent, and you don't have to nurse her to sleep because she's actually tired at naptime. She'll be on 3 naps instead of 4, which is more appropriate for her age and will likely help get things on track.

As for solids, I wouldn't worry too terribly much. Breastmilk is her main source of nutrition and solids are just for practice. She isn't supposed to have a huge appetite for her solids meal, it's more like a snack. And they really don't eat much at that age...anywhere from a couple of teaspoons to a couple of tablespoons per meal. If you check out some of the 4 hr routines in the EASY forum, you'll see how other parents fit solids into the day. There are lots of different ways to do it, and you'll find one that works for both of you. Good luck!