screaming to sleep

[cathbilson]

I hate to be begging for help as my problem sounds so trivial compared to some people's on the boards - but it's really beginning to upset me. My son is 30 days old and in most respects an Angel baby all the way. But every day or two, at one or other nap time, when I put him down in his cot, instead of doing his normal suck on the dummy and drift slowly off to sleep, his eyes pop open and he starts to whinge. I've tried shush-pat, I've tried picking him up and cradling him, I've tried sitting on the other side of the room where he can't see me - no matter what I do, he works up into a fever pitch of total wild hysterics and takes about 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours to cry himself to sleep. The more I try to intervene the more hysterical he gets. Shush-pat is particularly disastrous in this case! Today I had to walk out of the room after 45 minutes of screaming because my nerves just couldn't take it any more. Within 10 minutes he'd screamed himself out and passed out. The one blessing is that he won't wake up until I go and get him for his next feed - once he sleeps he does sleep soundly, praise the Lord.
Does anyone have any suggestions? This is the third day in a row where I've ended up in tears listening to my baby scream.

[Spectra]

What's the rest of his day look like?  Like how much activity time and when are naps and for how long, etc. ?

[cathbilson]

Ha. I spoke too soon. Having said that he was a great napper when he went down, the little beast has started doing 45 minute naps. Since he woke at 7 this morning (after an 11pm dream feed last night and a 3 am feed this morning) he's had exactly 2 nap periods of 45 minutes each, woken up yelling his head off, and been impossible to get back to sleep. After the second period he did at least go quiet after a few minutes of yelling at me. I sat with him for an hour and a quarter doing sh-pat and trying to get him off to sleep but no dice. It's now 5.20 pm and Kieran is out for a walk in the pram with his dad - my one quiet period of the day so far!
I know it's not colic. He's jsut not that sort of baby! Hardly gets wind, never throws up. Feeds really well. He's not hungry when he wakes up, goes happily through to next feed time cooing on his play mat after I finally gave up and got him up. And surely at not even 5 weeks he's too young for the sort of problems I've seen a lot of mums on this board have with their babies of 4 months or so? He was 9 pounds at birth and is now almost 11, so he is a big baby, but not THAT big. Could he be teething? I don't see any signs of red cheeks or drooling. I'm a first time mum with not much baby experience, so please help!

[cathbilson]

Well. Our routine is something like:
7.00 Wake and eat (and yes, I am breastfeeding, and have LOADS of milk)
7.30 A (on his play mat)
8.00 Starts yawning. Put him in his pram, wrapped up well, and go for a walk. Sometimes he sleeps well, more often not.
9.00 Get home. Usually drops off to sleep just as we're coming up the drive. Leave to sleep in the pram: will go 45 minutes, wake up quite amiable and babble to himself for a bit, until
10.00 Eat
10.30 A
11.00 S. Normally great and goes down until 1, but yesterday slept only 45 minutes. Then screamed at me until 12:45, when I gave up and brought him downstairs. Put him on the play mat while I went to the loo and he was all sweetness and light when I came back!
1.00 Eat. VERY tired by now so I only gave him 5 minutes play and then took him to his room. Went straight off to sleep at 1.30 but - argh - woke at 2.15 and wanted to play. Tried until 3.30 to put him back to sleep. At 3.30 he started getting cranky - up until then I think he thought I was playing with him, with the sh-pat and his dummy. Gave up and took him downstairs, put him on his play mat and he was happy until 4, when I fed him.
4.30 Activity
4.45 Tired, so I put him in his pram and DH took him for a walk.
5.20 Got back from walk, had JUST gone to sleep.
6.00 Woke up, quite happy.
6.15 Feed
6.30 Bath and massage
6.45 Tried to top up but he was yawning like mad and not interested, put him to bed and he went straight off.
8.00 Tried to give him a small feed (expressed milk in bottle). Normally he takes 1-2 ounces at this time but last night he was absolutely dead to the world. Tried for 30 minutes and couldn't get anything down him.
10.30 Dream feed

And so far today:
2.45 Wake up. This is pretty normal but this morning he just didn't want to feed. And I was so out of it it took me 5 minutes to notice he was happily sucking on the wrong bit of my breast and not actually feeding. Eventually gave up and put him back to bed.
5.00 Wake up and feed. THe last few times he's woken this early he's thought it was play time and refused to go back to sleep, but this morning (thank you, God) he dropped off again at 5.30. It's 6.30 now and he's still gone. Unfortunately I had less luck getting back to sleep.

I guess the question is, should I be trying to give him his first nap in the pram? He has slept so well in there since birth, I don't like to mess his routine up now. That walk is really the only exercise I get - and I'm terrified of trying to put him to bed and having him scream at me, because I know it will wake my husband who really needs to be asleep at that time. Tracy seems to suggest that if you get the first nap wrong it messes up all the others - is that what I'm doing? Help! THe first four weeks were so easy, now I'm stumbling in the dark, and I'm so scared of doing something dumb that will turn Kieran from a (mostly) Angel baby into a little horror.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello, I hope you don't mind if I chime in here

To answer your question, I do think it's important that you work on that 1st nap in his cot. The first nap is an extension of the night-sleep, and can often be the most restorative, so really he should be in his bed for it. Also, if you are trying to get him to sleep in his cot, it's important that you are consistent. For the first 2 weeks (of sleep training), I made sure that all of his naps were taken in his cot. He needs to learn that this is where I sleep. After that, you can relax a little as you are sure that this association has been established, but even then I always made sure that the first good nap was in his cot. Tracy used to say that it's the later catnap that's the 'freebie' - can be taken in the pram or car seat. This one's not so important as it's closer to bedtime, and he doesn't have to face the whole day afterwards.

HTH

[etmom]

Your ds sounds a lot like mine a couple weeks ago!  I was convinced I had a "touchy" baby and, for the life of me, couldn't figure out that sleep window or that perfect environment!  Turns out he had reflux!  He's been on Zantac a couple weeks now and is improving, but still has difficulty getting more than an hour nap in (he wakes up choking---I think his throat's not healed up yet and it gets irritated, and it's all downhill from there!  But MUCH better than the screaming we were dealing with!)  The dr. said it can take up to 3 weeks for the healing to totally take place.
  Under the General section, you can find reflux symptoms.  He had a lot of them that I didn't know were associated with reflux.  But he would scream about 10 minutes to fall asleep for naps and was inconsolable so I didn't know what to do but let him cry---just as you mentioned.  Then he'd wake up before the next feeding screaming and was difficult to console until the next feed. 
  Do you think this could be happening with your LO?  I really hope this helps!  We're on the road to recovery finally.  I know it can really feel like you are totally missing something--that's how I felt!  Sounds like you're doing a great job!

[cathbilson]

Thanks so much for all your help and suggestions. Yesterday was a pretty good day in the end - I put him in his cot at 8 and after about 30 seconds of yelling he passed out and slept till 10. At 11 he went down again until 1, then down again at 1.45 till 4! Catnap in his pram from 5 till about 5.45, then usual evening routine and he went down at 7. Except that he woke up again at 7.30 - couldn't quite figure that out! Gave him the feed he usually gets at 8, took an ounce and then went off again until DH did the dream feed. He woke at 2.40 but he's been doing this for a week now, so I decided to try getting him off to sleep. Re-swaddled him, gave him his dummy and off he went, woke me up at 5.20 hungry. Fed in 15 minutes and went back down again - it's now 7.45 and I can just hear him starting to chirp. Will try again with the naps today - one more question though - he seems to be taking 3 solid 2 to 2 1/4 hour naps plus a 30-45 minute catnap - this seems a lot? He's 5 weeks today and a big baby. He always feeds in no more than 20 minutes, and then keeping him awake for 40 minutes after that can be really quite a trial.