Do other grandparents say these things?

[AndrewBoy]

I just wanted to know if there are others out there who are plagued by grandparent comments like..."we never let ourselves be tied down by the baby's routine, our kids just went with us everywhere and they slelpt when they were tired and slept great at night...".  I am dealing with my third child, a touchy baby, and it is tempting to sometimes throw in the towel and go with the flow.  I know this works but he has never been easy for more than 3 days at a time so the thought of giving up is always there. 

[Brandonsmom]

Every grandmother and middle aged mom in my family never put their babies on a schedule/routine. Never. When my SIL suggested scheduling she warned me that many people will tell you that you are crazy for trying to do that. Like when its time for baby to eat and they are asleep. You'll hear "don't wake that baby, let them sleep" but if your wanting to do a schedule you have to wake them for feedings, especially in the beginning when they sleep a lot. I even had a mean nurse at the hospital laugh at me and scoff when I told her I was putting my baby on a schedule! And even some pediatricians will scoff at scheduling wanting you to feed on demand and stuff. I just ignored them and did my thing.

[Tonya]

ALL THE TIME FOR 2 SOLID YEARS!!!

"we carted all of you kids with us wherever we wanted to go", "yes, you slept in the noise - what choice did you have?  You coudl fall asleep anywhere", "you weren't on any kind of schedule - we fed you if you were hungry, and you went to sleep when you were tired "

DROVE ME NUTS!!!!! And all of this came from my DAD, who worried that I was giving up too much being ds's mom!!! lol  But finally, he realizes how much ds THRIVES on his schedule...how he is just a happier baby boy (most of the time! ) than any of us were....gee, wonder why?  He's always had something to eat, he's had proper rest, and he knows what to expect next!!

Can I just say that if you have a touchy baby, you'll want a routine EVEN MORE eventually.  It is a lot of work, but trust me, it is SOOO worth it!

[AndrewBoy]

Thanks for listening to me.  I am sooo frustrated.  With three little ones, BW is a little harder and having a touchy baby (i think) makes it even more difficult.  Tonyaamstutz, those words sound all to familiar.  My mom never did a schedule and "all three of us were always at the lake and we were good babies who slept through the night..."  Not exactly words of encouragement.  I feel like I can't go anywhere and my other little ones are a little tired of mommy tryiing to teach their brother to sleep.

[Tonya]

I can't imagine doing it with three!!  I'm expecting #2 (and the last! ) now, and am terrified as to how to handle it!!!

{{{hugs}}}} to you.  If you're tired, take a break!  NOTHING says it has to be done now!!  There is always time later!

[Layla]

OMG!!! I can't believe how similar these comments are to the ones I have been getting. With my 1st child and not knowing any better I woudl actually semi-believe what was said to me. I would too get comments on never having a routine, that my sister and I NEVER cried, there was no such thing as a fussy baby, we were on a 3 hr schedule from day 1, we slept through the night and that we were always going out with them, regardless of how late it was cause we would "sleep whereever we were put to sleep". At the start I would get really stressed, trying to explain to not only my family but my extended family as well that my child needs her sleep and that the days I could carry her in my arms and she would sleep anywhere and in any environment was way over (i think it was until month 2). It would really annoy me cause come family gatherings, I would leave her at home with my sister and the family would be saying "where's the baby....etc..." And when I would say "her bedtime is around 7", I would get pretty funny looks at times. Eventually I stopped caring and just curse when we'd get home. Its really funny cause my mum is living with us since the birth of my youngest and she now can see where I was coming from. She can see that Bella goes crazy (cranky, etc) when she sleeps late or misses naps and she understands me better. The other day when hubby and I were going out, I had the newborn ready to take with us and mum said "leave her with me, she needs to sleep". AHA! Whatever hapened to "taking the kids with you wherever you go" 

[~Faye~]

Yep, I have the same. My Dad's favourite 'I didn't creep around you when you were asleep so I'm not going to around Shay. If he wakes he wakes" Arrggghhhh. Also he loves 'just stick him in bed, shut the door and leave him'. I don't think he realises that we are all different and the way we bring OUR children up is different. There are things my parents did that I won't do and I'm sure there are things I'll do that DS won't do when he's a dad.

BIG BIG HUGS to you, you need them

Faye

[NikiJ]

I just wanted to know if there are others out there who are plagued by grandparent comments like..."we never let ourselves be tied down by the baby's routine, our kids just went with us everywhere and they slelpt when they were tired and slept great at night..."

They've just forgotten what it's like.  I'm sure it wasn't that easy for them.

[mgillard]

My son is 3 1/2 and my parents and sister have said things like this since he was born. Now they call him neurotic. Nice, huh? All because we have a routine, which he really wants. He is just the type of child who wants order to his world. Personally, it works for me. He's always been this way; probably a personality trait. He's kind of like me, so I understand him.  When he was a baby he would crawl to bed if we didn't get him there right on time (always 7pm)!  Now w/#2, who is 6 1/2 wks old, we're trying to get her into a routine and, although she is fighting it, we are still working at it. She seems to be a touchy/spirited baby (like her big brother) so I am praying she eventually gets it.

When I get frustrated w/my family I try to remember that they just don't understand, not that they're trying to be spiteful. And if that doesn't work, I just hang up the phone!

[joyfulmom]

My MIL told me that "mothers today stress themselves out with routines and schedules, we didn't do that, we just went with the flow".  However, this is the same woman who calls every week with a new worry.  She aslo had stories of quiet happy babies who were totally portable, slept good and never fussy until my lo started resisting naps, then she remembered having trouble with her boys going down for naps.  Also, she told me that she rocked her boys all the time and that was the only way to get them to sleep until they were almost a year.  Who has time for that???

Remember, Hindsight is glorious when it's revised!!!  There are probably alot of things their not telling you.  You do what is better for you in the long run. 

[Lana]

Quite honestly I think that they forget alot of it.  I know that I forgot alot and it was only 3 years between my two .  Also don't forget that back then most people just left babies to CIO and fed them cereal from day one. 

When Bram was about a  month old he was having a really bad nap day and my parents came over in the evening to visit.  He was of course fussy and I explained that he was overtired due to short naps all day.  My mom then says to me "what ever happened to those babies who would just eat and then go to sleep?"   .