How does co-sleeping end?

[Emmet's Mommy]

I know co-sleeping is not normally part of the BW package...but from age 5 months to now nearly 10months thats what we've been doing.  We are still nursing and while DS would be happy to go without nursing during the day and just use a cup, at night he half-wakes several times.(half-wake meaning making noise but eyes closed. will eventually wake)  If I nurse him I can go back to sleep almost instantly and he nurses as much or as little as he needs.  If I don't nurse him he will cry and cry no matter how much cuddling shushing comforting I try.
  So where does this road end?  Are there any mothers out there whose LO used to co-sleep and then gave it up for either a crib or their own toddler bed?  Was it a battle or a gentle transition?
Thanks

[Florencia]

I will answer you from the point of view of someone who hasn't been there but has been able to witness the testimony of many moms that have been there. Hopefully a cosleeping mom will jump in here too.

When does it end? whenever you put an end to it. Beleive me, little one will be happy to stay at your cozy bed FOREVER. It's up to you to decide what's best for your family. You have a wide range of options: from stopping cold turkey the nursing and the co-sleeping, or stopping cold turkey the nursing but keep on the co-sleeping, or stopping cold turkey the nursing and gradually move your baby to a crib or toddler bed (whatever your choice is)... as for sleeping, you can choose. The nursing at night can also be gradually limited to 2 takes at night, say and deal with pat/shsh or pu/pd the aditional wakings.

At your baby's age I'm pretty sure he's taking enough calories during the day (is he on solids?) and the wakings are more a comfort/habit thing than a real need for calories/hunger. There are ways to stop the wakings for nursing in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if you're posting for advice on how to do this or just to know if there's a chance that this will fade into toddlerhood. For what i've seen in this forum i can tell you that NO, i'm afraid it recquires a lot of work and commitment on your side and your partner's side. There will be sleepless nights and there will be tears on both sides, but it's not as ugly as we fear sometimes and i can guarantee you it's totally worth it. We all deserve a full night's sleep. And we feel so human after one!

Let me know if you need advice on how to get started. We will be here for you through the process, whatever you choose.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[Emmet's Mommy]

"little one will be happy to stay at your cozy bed FOREVER"

Forever.  That does sound like a long time.

No, really, no matter what he will eventually sleep on his own.  I just want to know if there are any mothers whose lo grew to be toddlers and were transitioned to a big  boy bed just as children are transitioned from crib to bed.

I know that before I had a baby I thought co-sleeping, attachment parenting and Dr. Sears were all pretty off the wall.  But then I think about so few years ago when breastfeeding was considered pretty wacky.  I wasn't sold on that either before I had a baby and now I cannot imagine any other way. 

For quite a few months now I have been getting plenty of quality sleep-- usually until 8 in the morning.  I think there are a lot of people on this site who can understand why I wouldn't want to jeopardize that. 

Are there any former co-sleepers out there?   
 

[Emmet's Mommy]

I picked up the Pantley book for toddlers at the library and recognized me and my LO immediately.  After reading about gentle removal I can see how with time it would start to work on my LO.  One thing that jumped out at me was establishing a phrase that means "nursing is over."  I've got that one down and it does have some effect.  I am a little embarressed to say that I annouce "Last call, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here" to let him know to finish up and then "the milk bar is closed."  I'll have to do some more reading after bedtime.
 What I am thinking is that as he learns more language he will better understand what I am doing.
gotta go

[Fife_Mum]

It sounds like you are happy with your co-sleeping so enjoy it!

I have a toddler who used to co-sleep. At around 8 months he was transitioned to sleeping in his cot by rearranging his routine so that his last breastfeed moved to before bath-time, and using PU/PD with DH's help. That was the battle part as I had been spending hours nursing him to sleep only to have him awake when I moved him to his cot. However I was still relaxed about night-wakings as he wanted to nurse so I would co-sleep from whenever he woke (usually around 3am). I used some of the gradual 'No-cry sleep solution' techniques already mentioned as I did not feel they conflicted with the minimal PU/PD still needed at bed-time. However it could be that he simply grew out of night-waking and our part-co-sleeping ended.

I am currently doing the same kind of lazy co-sleeping with my 10 month old, but she wakes up around midnight, and hogs the bed especially now that she is mobile and takes after DH by fidgeting lots so they both keep me awake even when they are sleeping! So when I get home to my Elizabeth Pantley books and a decent cot for Arwen I am going to have to think about what to do...