Can't get her to go down for that last catnap

[cbell]

Ok so I am following the EASY schedule but I find that last catnap tricky. The timing is sometimes off depending on the wake times and or if we have been out or people have ben in. Anyways I am wondering what to do in this scenario...

... my little one sometimes wakes up around 4ish and is up for 1.5 to 2hrs which brings me to 5:30-6pm. If she sleeps for 30 min then we are getting later into the evening and eliminating that last nap doesn't work because I tried and it is harder to get her to bed. If I get the timing perfect I can usually put her down and she drifts off to sleep on her own, no crying. But I hesitate to try to hard for that last nap if my timing is not quite right because it brings us to later in the evening and I fear she will be awake long. She is excellent as far as nighttime sleep... goes down anywhere from 7 or 8 till 5 or 6 in the morning. So if I can't get her to take that last nap is it better to do bath time, wind down time and then bed? Which makes bedtime around 6ish.

[Mom to M&M]

How old is she and what is her general routine?

[cbell]

She is 15 weeks old. I have tried following the EASY program to the letter but it was stressing me out and I wasn't able to mold her into it easily. Currently I am concentrating on getting her 3hr hr eating cycle working and then I am going to concentrate on her sleeping cycle. I wasn't able to get her to nap for more than 30 -45 min which wasn't fitting into the EASY routine. So I was trying to schedule activity to make it to the 3hr mark but then the schedule would get to the point of it was time to feed and put her to bed at the same time ( and by that I mean feeding her at 7, 10, 1 and 4). Anyways she is sleeping through the night very well. She goes to bed anywhere from 7 -8 and sleeps till 5am so I know she can hold her own. She has been doing that for about a month now which is great. Which leads me to even question of whether or not I need to do anything with the 45 min naps. In Tracy's book she mentions that it could be just her biorythm.

Nonetheless here is what I have been doing:

5:30 wake and feed go back to sleep
7 - 7:30 wake and feed
9 - asleep (30-45 min)
10 wake and feed
12 - asleep (30-45 min)
1 feed
3 asleep (30-45 min)
4 feed
5:30 - 600 attempt to put her to sleep for a catnap. This is where I run into problems as she really doesn't want to go to sleep so after 20-30 min I give up. She usually cries going down for naps as a rule anyways but she will fall asleep within 5-10 min, but this last one is near impossible.

So what I have tried so far for that last part of the night:
- tried to get her to have a nap, gave up and went into the bath routine, fed and put her to bed. This was not the best as she would not go down on her own. If i get to actually have that nap she will self-soothe herself to sleep for the most part. But I'm guessing she can't go down easily if she is kept up because she is overtired.

- do I try harder for that last nap which will end up extending the evening and bedtime will be around 8-8:30?

Not sure what to do. If she would sleep longer during the day it would fit the schedule better I know but I have tried the wake to sleep method, the holding her arms and legs while shushing and neither seem to have an effect. I can classify her as a Spirited baby if that helps in the diagnosis. And I realize that every baby is different and is not going to follow everything to the letter but I am just wondering what to do about that last part of the day. Help!

[samijoe]

All I can say is that I entirely agree that the dinner part of the day totally bites.  How I've combated it...I put my 20week lo in the stroller and off we go!!  If she doesn't fall asleep in the stroller for even a few minutes, at least she has had some down-time to make it thru to the homestretch!  When we get home we start right into the bedtime routine.  I find it a very nice time of day to walk as well, especially in the summer--not so hot.  Good luck--hope this helps!

[neelam.mom]

O GOD, I can so relate to this problem. our schedule is somewhat like this:

7:30 wake up
8:30-8:45 -- 9:00-9:15 BF (one side) and nap
10:30 - 11  BF (both sides) and nap
1:00 - 1:30 BF (one side) nap
3:30 - 4:00 BF (both sides) and nap
6:45pm bedtime routine and BF (both sides)
7:30 pm to bed

my DD use to take a last catnap at 5pm which she dropped few days ago. 

Yesterday I moved her bedtime little early around 6:30pm, she was still little tired but better than 7:30. She got up to twice to feed and other couple of times when I shh/pat her back to sleep and then I woke her up at 7:30am. Yes, she actually slept that long 

DD is 5.5 months old now and EBF.

EDIT....
oops, that was before our new schedule is : started since yesterday
7:30 wake up  and BF
9:00-9:30nap
11  - 11:30 nap
1:00 - 1:30 nap
3:00 - 3:30 nap
5:45pm bedtime routine
6:30 pm to bed

Today, I tried to put her for 5pm nap and VOILA, she is sleeping! but no guarantees for tomorrow . hmm so I will goback to 7:30 bedtime today then.

[cbell]

Thanks for th the tips. Glad to hear I am not alone anyways. Today was a great day and I fed her that last time before bed of which she was starting to drift off on me. When she finally finished feeding I had her on my shoulder to burp her and she was starting to fall asleep. I thought this was great so I took her upstairs and laid her in her crib , gave her a kiss and walked out. 2 minutes later she was crying.... How does that happen? Is it too young (3.5 months) to start trying to put her down to try and drift of on her own? There was a week when she would do this and I thought we were on to something but its been a week later and she won't do that anymore.

And does anyone have any helpful tips on how to not let this bother you? I find at the end of the day, which is usually a good one because she is a most pleasant baby, I hope and pray she goes down without a hitch, sometimes she does, most times she doesn't. I have a hard time not letting it stress me out once she is finally asleep therefore I don't always enjoy my evenings. Sorry just had to vent there. 

[neelam.mom]

Hi again,

When my DD does this I tell to myself that my little darling is learning so many things in such little time, she would be exhausted and to top it off she doesn't even know how to soothe herself. But I know that soon she will learn to sleep by herself just as she is achieving other milestones.

Other than that, I just have lots of hugs for you. I am sure that experts would jump in with some useful advice. But I know it gets better, just hang in there.

[Ami ~ 3 girls' mom]

Get the catnap any way you can: stroller, car ride, front carrier.  Some babies will not take more than two naps in the crib per day.  My youngest works well in the carrier with a big floppy hat so she can't see anything.    My timing has to be to the minute, too.  If I'm five minutes late for nap I spend 15 minutes calming her. 

[Zoey]

I just wanted to comment on the putting in the crib sleeping thing.

When you hold a baby, they feel weightless.  They drift off to sleep (you should always try to put LO in the crib awake btw so they can associate that feeling with the crib and not your arms, swing, carseat etc or you or the item will become a prop.  Start as you mean to continue  )  in your arms, then suddenly you put them down and no matter how gently you try to do this - most often the will startle awake.  They do this because suddenly they can feel their own body weight again, and that is startling to them.  MOST of the time, this will happen.  So you are best doing your wind down, swaddling, and laying them in the crib awake but calm.  You can use pat/shh to help settle them in the crib if need be.

The cat nap on a 3 hour easy (you may want to start working toward a 3.5 - 4 hour easy at her age) should be around:  5-6pm and for about 40 mins approx. with a bedtime at 7-730pm.  If you can't get baby down for this nap easily you can steal this catnap any way you can get it - car ride, stroller, front pack, swing.  The reason why you can do that for this nap is because it is the first nap to go, and it is so short - just enough to help LO get through the last feed, and bed time routine without getting overtired - so we view it as a freebie!

I am sure Marisa Mom will post to help you with your routine - she is awesome.  Good luck, I hope this helps a little bit.
Zoey

[Mom to M&M]

Totally agree with Zoey on the weightless and catnap/freebie issues.

As for your routine, cbell, I might try to put her down a little sooner in the morning. For example, if she's waking at 7am, I'd try for a nap at 8:30 or 8:45 - she may be overtired come 9am. If you can get her to nap for 1-1.5 hours, you would then want to have the next nap start 1.75-2 hours after end of first nap and catnap about 2 hours after end of second nap.

I know it's hard but try not to stress too much about her sleep - she'll get the hang of it. Just enjoy her as you are doing and enjoy your evenings. Take deep breaths and remind yourself that you're a great mom and she's a great baby and that tomorrow is another day.