newbie with 6 mo old will NOT sleep!

[Melo+Cam]

Hi,

I'm in desperate need of help! We've been trying the BW techniques the bad way until now - half-heartedly, using what seems to work when it seems to work. I'm pretty much on my own here. Cameron's dad is now my ex-boyfriend, by my decision but it's still rough. In every respect other than sleep, Cameron is split between texbook and angel in terms of temprament. Sleep, though? It's hard to say, because he doesn't do it! A week after a trip that knocked him out of what was his normal habit (a couple three-hour stretches at night, naps of 45 min) and into night sleep of two hours or less at a time and naps of 10 min if they happen, I'm at my wit's end.

It's time I tried BW whole-heartedly.

Here's my big immediate problem: I put him in his crib for a nap after our wind-down, he's all relaxed and ready to drop off, then BAM - eyes wide open, wide awake. He stomps his feet, holds his hands sort of up and tense (or scrabbles as if trying to find something to hold, but as soon as he does, lets go and keeps grabbing), and keeps himself awake that way. If I hold him still, he fights to get free, and don't even get me started on swaddling!  If I leave his sight, he screeches and cries, but when I'm back, he's back to anxiously wanting to be picked up. So, do I sit there with him, patting him, waiting for him to sleep while he rolls, kicks, flails, tosses and turns? Do I treat the tossing, turning, fussing as crying and do PU/PD?

I've just been trying to get through nap times with him in his crib, then re-start the pattern - starting with eating. During which he falls asleep. So I wake him up, and we're back at playtime, but the next nap doesn't happen, same thing goes again! It's almost two pm, he's been up since seven, no nap. I'm so tired I could puke. And now his dad's got him out in the stroller for some visiting time, he'll sleep there (I'm going to have a nap now), instead of in his bed where he should be! ARGH!

I've got so many other problems and questions, but if I can at least get him napping, then I can sleep during the daytime too, and maybe be better able to handle night times.

Many thanks for any help you can offer!

Mel

[NikiJ]

Hi Mel

Just came on to give {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}.  It's really hard when they don't sleep but it's good that you realise that you need to be more consistant.  When you start, just remember that if you stick to this everything will be better in a couple of weeks.  It will get harder @ first, he is at an age where they resist anything out of the ordinary but STICK to it.

I can't answer your query coz my lo did not do that but I'm sure one of the other girls can help there.

Hope everything goes ok.  Keep us updated.

Niki

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello Mel,

welcome to the boards, and {{{{{hugs}}}}} for the no sleep.

Could you please post your lo's routine? From the way your lo is acting, it's possible that he could be either overtired, or his A time might be too short - either extreme is possible, I'm afraid! If you post your routine we can have a look to see if it needs 'tweaking' to see if we can help you. I hope we can

[knackered]

Hey Mel

You poor thing - I know exactly how you feel. My DS did exactly the same after a holiday at 5 months - he went from only waking twice a night to waking every 1.5 - 2 hours and as for napping ....! So I decided to BW properly and I did it on my own - even though DH is around I knew I would be able to cope with DS crying better if it was me who was with him. So over the course of a week I worked on both his naps and his nights and he very quickly returned to his prior night time behaviour. It was rough for a few nights - he was so used to being suckled back to sleep that when I didn't do it he stayed awake for 2 hour periods - but this only lasted maybe 3 or 4 nights and he got the message. He now goes down pretty easily for both naps and night time in his cot - obviously some days are better than others. At 6 months they're doing so much new that it's hard for them to relax - this is probably what your LO is going through. I think it makes it easier when you realise this. 

I still have problems with getting my DS to sleep for longer than 45 mins and to try and cut out his night wakings, but it's a level that is manageable now and I'm able to cope with it all because I'm (just about) getting enough night time sleep and some breaks during the day.

Being exhausted makes everything seem so much worse - so don't beat yourself up about sometimes taking the easy solution and putting him to sleep in the pram.

In answer to your questions - my DS did a similar kind of fussing and could mantra cry for ages.  PU/PD just made him angrier. So I would lean right over into the cot, hold his hands down and put my cheek against his cheek and whisper into his ear - just shushing noises or 'settle down settle down'. He would cry and struggle but if I kept at it eventually he calmed down and would go off to sleep. I still do this if he's over tired and is having difficulty dropping off.

Anyway - it's definitely worth a few bad nights - even though I'm still having difficulty with my DS's wakings, it makes it so much easier knowing that he'll go off to sleep without a battle.

Good luck and hope this can help.

xxx