10 week old suddenly refusing bottle!

[nickaucher]

We have been giving my dd one bottle a day of formula since she was 3 weeks old.  For a while now we have been giving it to her at bedtime, so we can switch off bedtime duties between her and my ds.  This week she has decided she is not too sure about the bottle.  Granted we have been away from home for almost 2 weeks (at the beach, at my parents), but she has never given us much trouble with the bottle.  On Monday night she didn't want it,  but we figured her tummy was bothering her (she has reflux).  Tuesday we went to Sesame Place and she stayed home with daddy.  Well, she screamed almost all day and wouldn't take the bottle for hours on end.  She nursed fine when I got home.  For 2 nights she was okay, still seemed a little unsure about it, but did take the bottle.  Well, yesterday was my brother's wedding, and she was staying with my in-laws, along with ds.  I called after the wedding, and she was refusing to take the bottle.  Everytime they put it in her mouth she screamed.  So, 4.5 hours after the previous nursing session we went over I nursed her, and we TOOK HER TO THE RECEPTION! Ahh!  So, much for a night out.  I didn't know what else to do.  This morning when she got up I gave her a bottle, and she took it.  She pushed it around in her mouth for a while, before she did, but at least she didn't scream.  What is going on with this?  Intermittant refusing of the bottle?  But 2 times this week, I gave her a bottle and she was fine.  I thought they didn't like it when mommy gave a bottle?  Do you think this is a stage?  I need to know that I can leave her with someone, and that I am not going to have to rush back and feed her.  Ahh!

-Nicole
-mom to Carson 1/17/04
-Emily 5/2/06

[Samuel's mum]

Give it a few more days and see how the pattern emerges. Perhaps she was just missing some mommy hugs and is going through a bit of a separation anxiety stage. I also think babies pick up on when someone is desperate for something to happen and sense any anxiety! In my experience things don't go the way you want just when you are in a hurry or need to get them to bed.
How has it been going?

[Deb_in_oz]

i am not sure what is causing the change but wanted to tell you that if it is important to you to be able to have some bottle feeds then stick with it (calmly but every day). with dd1 at 3 weeks we also introduced a bottle (EBM for bedtime or dream feed) and since she took to it straight away we got complacent. at 7-8 weeks she started refusing them after we had got lax about it and skipped a few days here and there.  we did not want to continue to battle so gave it a break and kept trying again. well we coudl not get it back until finally at 7 mo when i was at the point where it REALLY mattered to me not to have to be there at bedtime every night we tried every day for a 3 day weekend and finally got her back on 1 feed of the bottle. i wish we woudl have just stuck with it every day and remained relaxed about it but persistent. 

[nickaucher]

I geuss I thought that once she was taking it, that was it and we were home free.  I didn't realize that she might be fine for a while and then decide not to take it.  I am also wondering if it has to do with giving it at bedtime.  Tonight she just cried and cried and finally ate barely 2 oz. of formula.  (She was taking 4 oz. of formula at bedtime previously)  She seemed sooo tired (although she had only been awake 1.5-2 hours), almost like she would rather just sleep than eat.   Also, I wonder if it has to do with the reflux. She usually wakes up from her last nap around 5:30-6:00pm, I breastfeed her, and than she is awake from then until 7:30-8:00pm, when we get ready for bed and offer her the bottle.  Maybe her tummy just isn't ready to eat again.  (Although, she was on this same schedule prior to this week and she seemed fine.)  One last thing, I feel like if I am committed to offering her one bottle a day (which I am), then at that feeding I should not give in and breastfeed her.  I am thinking that if I do, it will just get worse b/c she will think that if I just cry long enough she will eventually nurse me.  Kinda like sleep props where if you keep giving in to rocking (etc.), they are just going to keep crying that next (and next) time until you give in.  Does this make sense?  Do you agree?

-Nicole

[jbepko]

If you are going to offer one bottle a day, maybe try it on a feeding that she doesn't need the "nursing side"- maybe an afternoon feed. And introduce it earlier enough that she isn't REALLY hungry yet. I never had a problems with bottles- but both of my LO's were taking EBM at 6-8 weeks 2-3 times a day from daycare.

[Deb_in_oz]

yes, what we did was move it to the afternoon feed so she had a BF on either side of it, but i left the house so she had not option but the bottle foir that slot for 3 days - we knew then that if she refused she could survive until next BF (and at 7+ mo my dd was on solids so we had that extra reassurance)  so you woudl have the bedtime feed back to being a good feed hopefully too as she woudl probably take a few days to get a good level again at a midafternoon feed

with dd2 when i switched to the bottle at 3 mo she woudl not take it fro me even though dh had been giving her at least 1 each day (we learned our lesson!) never missing a day. it took me 5 days but i stuck againi with that 2-3pm feed s;lot.  a tip oi used was to do positive self talk while offering it and stay there as long as necessary until she drank (it is on the bottle feeding tips thread) so i stayed 100% calm no matter what so she woudl not pick up on any anxiety. in my head i told myself she woudl take the bottle and talked to her - like there you go, yummy bottle etc really positive statements so i coudl not even get anxious if i wanted to.  each day it took less time (from 45 min down to 15 min i think in 5 days and then we moved on from there)

[nattymarsh]

All I can say is stick with it!  My Lo began refusing a bottle at 10 weeks as well.  She's now 7 months and still wont take a bottle/sippy cup or milk from any other source and I've tried (on average) 5 days out of seven to give her one.  Keep trying and if you are still having problems you may want to try changing the nipple teat.  BTW, I had to take my dd to a wedding reception last week, and out to dinner with me and my dh on our anniversary because of this so I can sympathise! 

[nickaucher]

Thank you for all your suggestions.  We decided to keep it at bedtime, b/c I only nurse from one side, and if I did the bottle during the day, that would leave one side only being emptied once in 9 hours.  The last few nights have been trying, but it seems to be getting better.  The first night she screamed for close to 45 minutes, and then finally ate 4oz.  The second night she screamed for 20 minutes and ate 4oz.  And then last night she screamed for only 10 minutes and ate 3oz.  Last night it was almost funny, b/c she would suck for a second and then start crying but it was half-hearted, like she was giving up the fight.  Hopefully tonight will be better.  I am glad you all suggested sticking with it, as we did not have this problem with ds, and I don't think I could handle it if she wouldn't take a bottle again.  Thanks.

-Nicole